Saturday, July 19, 2008

I read the news today oh-boy...

The bedraggled mugshot of Canadian musician Steven Page of The Bare Naked Ladies is being splattered across the Entertainment pages after being arrested for possesion of New York..with a young girlfriend?

The band which is reknown for it's zany, college edumacated, in-the-know-joke, lyircs and madcap, smart-alecky, stage antics, WAS in the process of releasing a children's album (oh f*ck!) and had to cancel their rendezvous with the Disney machine...

so this is a news editor's wet dream...what a great angle eh?

So we have a perfect storm..celebrity, rock star, morality, drugs, sex, Disney, and gosh darnit anyway, a Canadian lad behaving badly? HUH? I thought that all Canucks were squeaky clean, Hockey-lovin', doughnut-stuffing, coffee-gulping, plaid shirted, touque wearin', accountants who've had a charisma bypass?

First of all if you're going to be a 'Celebritney' you had better understand the rules..
which are fairly belong to the great unwashed now Buster! That's right. Your Faustian deal with the devil to become more 'famous-er' and 'rich-er' than joe sixpack gives the general public the rights to your life. If you think that you are so f*cking special than by gawd you better be prepared to keep your nose clean..pun intended.

Now personally I think that it's none of my business what Steve or any other guy does in his own spare time. I was sorry to hear that his marriage has dissolved because he has 3 kids but that happens to non-famous people too. What did strike me was the immediate schadenfreude that the media started wallowing in..hey we got ourselves a squeaky clean smartass..let's get 'im!

Canadians enjoy an undeserved worldwide reputation for being stereotyped as polite, calm, no-nonsense types but we have serial killers too ya know? Homo Escapeons are so lazy..we love to conveniently attribute easy-to-digest 'brands' to nationalities...a watered down and politically correct version of racism which is just lazy.

My question is, what are the typical characteristics of your country's average citizen and how well or poorly do you fit into the mold?


  1. I've seen BNL perform twice and have several of their CDs. Steven Page is wacky and wild onstage.

    You're right, the media has just jumped all over this. Canada has so few worldwide-known personalities (Celine Dion, Shanaya Twain, etc.) and we DO have this rep as being boring, non-charismatic yet respected people who are some strange, more respected outgrowth of the U.S.

    But just as no one should define Americans by Bush or all Muslims should be defined by Osama, neither should we be defined by Steven Page.

    Perceptions are usually far beyond the truth and those perceptions are spread and enlarged by a media that often has no idea what the f*ck it's talking about.

    Yeah, Canadians are human and they make mistakes. The world (and we) should accept that and get over it.

  2. thats a damn good kostien (indian slang for question)

    first of all, I dont fit in at all. its a pain in arse being the only smart guy around. everyone else is just well being weird. im the only guy who buys hard sci-fi at the stores, the rest reads hairy potty. for gods sake you know I dont belong here, save me. I can operate a moose ranch i suppose over there. plus I have a crazy ass uncle who lives somewhere in canada.

    ok back to the question: people in Malaysia are friendly smart asses, they know everything, or pretend to know everything or try their best to get you to acknowledge that they know everything. and we smile alot. like this much alot....smilllllllllllllllllllllll

    people here worship tourists, but can kick and taunt other fellow citizens. and they love the sight of braless foreign busty babes on the streets of KL. :D

    naturally, we lock our gates and doors 24 hrs a day which is the total opposite of westerners i suppose. but owning a gun is illegal. hence, we need to lock the door I guess.

    bloggers are hated by politicians.

    politicians here are stupid, jst the same as in every country.

    oh and we used to be owned and pwned by the brits too...a long long time ago...bout till 50 years ago. then there was there portugese back in like 1500s, etc. I wish we had gengis khan and alexander to complete the party.

    we hate to be touched. i dont know why, but during street rallies of massive celebrations, its no hold barred.

    spitting on the street and everywhere is common, most people here have spitititus cancer i suppose.

    we are going the american way in big tummies.

    religion is alive and kicking, so no sand nig* jokes and the kind, coz then theyll drive u over. no drive by's here, coz no guns remember.

    and on sundays, the cities turn into Jakarta, Bangladesh or Myanmar...depending on the location.

    thats all i guess. im bored now. gimme a funny reply fast and Ill figure to write more.

    P/s: Thank you in Malay: Terima Kasih, and in Tamil: Nandri if you want to put it up there.

  3. sorry tamil is : நன்றி

  4. Hmm. I'm half English and half Serbian. Which means I'm supposed to be cold, supressed, uptight and snobbish on the one hand and melancholy, melodramatic, warm hearted, war like and with a tendency to drink huge amounts of alcohol while playing the accordian on the other hand.

    Hmm ... I'm probably cold, supressed and uptight, but the rest are nowhere near the mark. I like a drink or seven but I can't play the accordian ... so I'm probably fairly typically English if anything.

  5. MJ

    It seems as if the Canadian Press is so excited to have some Can-Con and a goody two-shoes to boot!
    THe irony of just having finished a children's album is beyond the pale but if you think about it BNL has always sort of done kiddie songs for College kids...sort of.

    I feel sorrry for Page because it's not easy being torn between being a role model and a rock star.
    I would have been terrible at it..and I certainly would not have made it to 50...prolly not 30?

    Sorry I stopped listening after Braless Busty Babes!

    Just need to move to the West before the WW4 breaks out..I saw a doc that explained that the Cold War was WW3 and it was fought by proxy in third world countries..interesting idea..anyway, MOVE!

    From everything that I read it sounds as if it is going to get even more oppressive...start thinking about where..Australia, Canada, certain parts of the US, western Europe...lots to choose from.

    Thamnks for the Malay/Tamil

    HAHAHA You're hilraious! What a great combo. I wish that I was just two thingamabobs then I could be more interesting.

    I'm a lousy Canadian because I disdain authority and multiculturalism...any ism for that matter..and I honestly don't believe we even have a Canadian identity...other than resembling sedated Americans in warm clothing.

    I should just move back to's the latest trend you know? I just don't know where my gene pool would be most accepting..Russia, Sweden, Belgium or Germany?

  6. Well I ain't no stereo type tanned muscular Aussie.
    Nor do I have big boobs and a cute ass, flashy white teeth nor wear skimpy clothes.......

    So I have no country ......!

    Is that a bad thing?

  7. Anonymous6:40 p.m.

    I just can't care about what celebrities are doing.

  8. I hope this might be a turning point for Steven then, (get off the drugs).

    I thought I was invincible at 20, made a lot of mistakes, it would be awful to live out that in public eye.

    I think I might be still learning who I am, the accent is a dead giveaway, but typical Aussie? We seem to be this amazing melting pot, I might be one of those laid back quiet flavors that go in the soup, in small amounts, too much and it burns, baby, it burns.

    I think I am quite a contrast to my immediate family, and perhaps a relatively quieter Australian.



  9. Well, I am your typical polite Canadian but I am not boring by any stretch of the imagination! I am a strong woman with a powerful personality but I am kind hearted, warm , open and honest.

    I lived in the US for 5 years and stuck out like a sore thumb - they all knew where I was from! But made lots of good friends down there.

    Preconceived notions are not always correct and seeing Cdns as boring, polite and quiet does a disservice to those of us who stand out a bit from the crowd. You can't lump everyone into the same category - that just gets you into trouble.

    I gotta go to bed - I moved today and have had a couple fo drinks and am feeling no pain so don't want to get silly here. Keep having to correct my mistakes...

  10. 'Squeaky clean Canucks" - no one told me about this - I only know you and mj!

    Brits are restrained binge drinkers. Just like me.

  11. Oh, this is a good one. Australians are all for a "fair go", and not getting above yourself, and being laid back and relaxed. Or so we still claim, despite acting in completely contrary ways. We had a "White Australia" policy about a hundred years ago, and even now the politicians maintain that under a different name. Now it's called "immigration policy", but it probably should be called the "restriction of Muslims or anybody who could possibly be, or may be remotely connected to, a terrorist" policy. We've changed focus from Asians to folks from the Middle East, but it's the same attitude. Australians are small-minded and petty, we are racist and sexist and conservative. We are selfish, arrogant, and egocentric. We are the fattest nation on Earth, having recently overtaken the USA.

    There is a series of books called the "Billabong" series, written about a hundred years ago by Mary Grant Bruce. She describes a world full of tall bronzed Australians who aren't overly literary but have the best intentions and goodwill toward all... a bush family, doing it tough and having adventures on a large cattle property, and later in the series they go to London so the boys can sign up and go to war, wonderful patriots supporting the motherland they've never seen.

    Pick up one of these books, read a few pages (specifically, read a description of a person), and you've got the "typical" Aussie.

    Nobody is like that. Nobody. Even the farmers and other country people I grew up alongside aren't like that. Australians now are just mini-Americans.


    that's the first book in the Billabong series :)

  13. You've been busy while I've been away! Speaking of serial killers, have you ever noticed that a disproprtionate amount of the really evil/overachieving ones are from the west coast? (You were probably the one who told me that...) Now, off to read the rest of your escapades while I've been paddling on a lake.

  14. PS I just realized that "paddling on a lake" makes me sound like a stereotypical Canadian, doesn't it?

  15. we in singapore are known to be 'kiasu'. translated, it means, "scared to lose/lose out". so we study hard, have tuitions upon tuitions, must have better school results than the neighbor's, etc.

    we have soft hearts. community fund raising through tv can raise millions in one night.
    here we have muslims sitting with hindus and christians and taoists, etc etc. at the hawker centre and everyone co-exist happily. i was told this is unusual.

  16. i can't think of any particular characteristic for sowff effrikuns, but there are a few clichés that REALLY fit the many different races that share my country...

  17. I'm only 1/2 English the other 1/2 being Dutch and Bavarian. The Dutch 1/4 seduced a Catholic Priest (trainee) the result of which was a shot-gun wedding and my mother.

    So I'm a repressed seductress that like order and breaking the rules.

  18. I'm 3/4 Spanish and 1/4 Italian.

    And yes, I need to be handled with love and care... if you shake me I may explode all on my own! lol.

    Other national clichés with some elements of truth here: Spaniards and Italians are: happy, proud, lazy... fff I'm tired. :)

    But... hey, not all are like that, like not all the Japanese have a camera or all the Brazilian are good soccer players, hahaha.

  19. My country's average citizen can't find their own state capital on a map, can text message the declaration of independence in 15 seconds flat but can't spell it, use more gas to do absolutely nothing whatsover of value or necessity than 45 people from any other country, and stands a good chance of belonging to the one and only religion that is REALLY sanctioned by God, no matter what that liberal press says about them.

    If I fit anywhere in THIS mold, please invade my country, hunt me down, and kill me.

    Look, I was BORN here, it's not like I waded across a shallow river to get in.......

  20. I'm a failure as a Canadian because I can't ice skate.

  21. souuuuuffffffffff effricans are hard working and we really really really love to laugh :)
    sport crazy and we don't like to lose...yeah that's about it :)~

  22. Hello Prof! Lets watch the city burn...heheheheheheh!

    ok...i really thought who the heck was that prof Wizenheimer.

    Thx for the excellent comment.

  23. Noooooooo! Not. Steve. I had not heard this bit of news. I love BNL. I hope he gets help and gets better soon.

  24. I was shocked that there is a whole police documentary series about Canadian murderers. I mean, how can you have enough murderers to need a whole series? Okay, that's enough stereotyping. Every country has its bad apples, but some have fewer while others have whole bushels of them.

  25. Anonymous6:44 p.m.

    Well, I actually belong to two stereo-typical countries: the U.S. and California. You know, California is a, whateveh!

    As far as typical characteristics of a U.S. citizen...are there any? Maybe fat, high-cholesterol, unedumacated, gas-guzzling, Christian, Walmart shopper, Dr. Phil follower, didn't know where Iraq was until George W. showed us...

    As far as a California characteristics...only eats organic food, surfs a lot, wears hemp clothes, is a vegatarian, drives a hybrid, says "like" before every word...

    Hmmm...I don't fit most of those characteristics although I do eat organic food but most of the time I can't afford it.

    Stereo-types suck.

  26. lol Donn I thought u were a newcomer to my blog and WCed u and all haha!

    Anyways Prof :)...Im a success as an Aussie cos I hv the MATESHIP genes in me hehe...but Im also a failure as an Aussie cos I dun like beer. :)


  27. Overweight and incurious. I'm thin and wondering.


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