Wednesday, July 02, 2008

KINADA DIE WUZ ALMOST ROO'nd

July 1st is Canada Day, it is 141 years young.

My Canada Day celebrations began by meeting fellow Bloggers Brian and Joyce for our second annual stroll through the Zoo.

Most of you know that I come from a land UP-OVER,
and in honour of this AUSspicious day,
I thought that it would be fitting to clelebrate the country that I love most...
AUSTRALEEYER!

So off we went exploring the Land Downunda exhibit at the Zoo.

As you know Austr'alien' woyldlife has the strayngist bloody creatures and the funniest bloody naymes.

Once inside, we had a lash at all the bloody birds..
noice pecker on that one eh?


and wouldn't ya bloody knowit..
the bloody Tree Kangaroos sleepin' agine..
what the hell..

WAKE UP YA LAZY FAKE KANGAROO BASTARD!

Now everyone loves Wallabies because they are the poodles of the Kangaroo family..
cute little bloody bastards..
not a one in sight..
great bloody exhibit mate!

Atleast they had a picture of one of the bloody Wallabies on the bloody WALL!


Naturally we were all excited to see Ayres bloody Rock,

one of the seven bloody wonders of the world..

well guess what?

It's only this bloody big because they bloody well ran out of bloody money!
More like 'errors bloody rock' if you ask me?
So anyway, despite the crappy exhibit, we had a bloody noyce Canada G'Day.
but nixt year, I hope to celebrate it in bloody Australia.
'Cause thet's where I bloody well belongabong mate!

45 comments:

  1. Homey love,

    You crack me up! I am sorry your visit was not so great, but you made it rather fun for us to watch you go through it all. Thank you for making me smile. Now my cheeks hurt...ahh well, it was worth it.


    Soft love,
    T

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  2. Haha that totally sux0rs. Yeah, come visit us for your next Canada Day. We have real kangaroos. And koalas. And we'll crash our car into a wombat for you, so you can see how much damage it causes the car and how perfectly fine the wombat will be!

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  3. It is suppose ta be why dont ya pack billabong Ya gooba!

    and if ya bong is broken will a digerydoo?
    But how much can a Koala Bear?
    And I aint going till Gum Leaves...

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  4. that's just bloody great mate... any sheila's about?

    just bloody well remember to take a bloody cork hat when you go down under...

    cowabunga :)

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  5. I laughed my arse off mate, hahaha, too funny!!! I love it!!! Now to come over here, or down here and experience it sall for real...garn, you know you wanna do it..just as you wun thing....

    didjabringyagrogalong??

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  6. Where's the corks on your hat, cobber?

    If Dick Van Dyke had done Australian).

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  7. I nearly fell off my chair laughing! I hope you had a nice celebration of your national day!

    Aussies are cool. I worked with them for almost 3 years and it was jolly good fun -I founf them a bit hard to understand at the beginning, though, but I managed to communicate, lol-.

    Very cool pics -you always look happy, and that's nice to see!-. In the last one you even look a bit Aussie too with that hat, hahahah.

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  8. So you finally found a use for that hat you picked up in Mexico, just turned up one side of it?

    I thought you might have shown yourself wrestling with the 2-foot pygmy alligator, but no...

    Did you switch your theme from Aussie to Kiwi for your night stroll down Osborne, then?

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  9. whatever they're exhibiting, i was distracted by the cool guy in the hat from the word go.

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  10. That hat makes you official. You're an Aussie.

    Thank you for the tour of Austr'alien' woyldlife. You cracked me up!!!

    G'day mate!

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  11. Happy Canada day donn! :) Another year passes and im not there yet...grrr... Blame the world, Love Canada!

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    man i think Im good at this spaming thing...

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  12. *breaks out into rendition of Canadian anthem* (with a little help from Google)

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  13. oh man. I didn't laugh THIS hard at the zoo! Good on ya, mate.

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  14. Thanks for deflating my balloon, D. I thought I had fun on Canada Day by drinking four beers and tiring out three badminton partners. (One of the guests at the party kept pointedly calling it “shuttlecock” – she’s British – which was surprisingly funny.) My last competitor was Len, who is 6’6”, and then nobody would take me on!

    Wish I'd been Down Under with you lot.

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  15. Well, if you do visit the Land Down Under I'd be happy to show you some of the sights.

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  16. Donn, where's ya bloody goat-T, mate?

    You look like....I dunna....a Canuck or sumthin!

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  17. But are you sure it's Canada Day? I only knew about Canada Eh...

    Somebody had to say it...

    So what's up with making bloody Canada Day just before the Fourth of July, mate? Are you trying to upstage us?

    (I learned "mate" from Keshi...)

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  18. Cockatoos. hee hee hee.

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  19. That brown mark on your shirt...

    Is that a design or where you burnt it ironing?

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  20. INSIDER
    Well the company was charming and we made the most of it, and best of all it was FREE!

    I feel so sorry for all those animals...well the Big cats...the rest of the herbivores live the life of Riley because they get overfed and nobody is trying to kill them.

    I was so proud of my 6 year old Son..when we made it to the monkeys he yelled out
    "If you have any Poo,
    fling it now!"

    STACE
    So the Wombies are tough little bastards eh? Actually I want to go and pop Cane Toads with my tires..I saw it on a documentary..if you hit 'em just right and they're facing the vehicle they make a loud POP!

    STEVE
    I tried to get the bloody Kookaburra to let out that crazy ass call..no luck.

    I heard that koalas are grumpy little bloody bastards that are stoned all the time from chewin on eucalyptus..but I'll bet their sinuses are always clear.

    SWEETS
    Those bloody cork hats are downright embarrassing..it's hard to take anyone serious wearing one of those bloody things...unless their wavin' a Dundee bush knife in yer face.

    CAZZIE
    It was too bloody early in the die for grog..well it was too bloody early for my mates.
    First chance that I get I am sooo coming over there..for a couple of months so that I can get to visit and I'll need a few weeks to figure out what the hell you're talking about.

    Two countries divided by a common language eh?

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  21. GEOFF
    G'Day Cobber! What can you say about Bertie's outlandish Brit accent? I always enjoyed "I Love To Laugh" when he is as high as a kite sippin' Rutlian Tea on the ceiling with Uncle Albert..HELLO!

    LENI
    I would make an awesome Aussie. What I appreciate about our colonial cousins is that they got to invent an identity without being over shadowed by the US like we did..that's why you can name 20 things that are uniquely Australian and maybe 5 that are Canadian.
    I'm nottrying to take anything away from them but a lot of it has to do with geography.

    WITIHN
    Hold on Mate! That hat is Australian export and it's 'fiteen' bloody years old. Crikey it's a Greg Bloody Norman, proud son of the land downunda who just got married to Chrissy Everett btw, and it has the great white shawk logo on the band!!!!

    It's just startin' to get broken in and looking the way I loik it.
    Mexico pffft..bloody 'ell!

    MISTI
    You mean Coolkaburra! I am practising for my golden years when I move from upover to downunda just before the we sell the last drop of fresh water to the Yanks and pretend that we're still independent.

    RANDOM CHICK
    Thanks I would make a great Ambassador to Strayler...hey maybe I should start pursuing that idea..imagine getting paid to entertain..we never have any disputes? That just might be the best job in the world?

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  22. GHOSTSPAM
    Could you repeat that? Canada is pretty good..we're not uber nationalist and it's hard to define being Canadian...we're still young and figuring it out and we're a land of second chances made up of immigrants...even our first nationals came from Siberia...oh we're all Kenyans anyway.

    I like Lennon's idea of there not being any countries..but that's impossible..
    atleast until our future alien insect overlords take over.

    LEWTRAH
    You have to sing half of it in French unless you're in Kebec?
    Sometimes I think that the tall foreheads in Ottawa decided to make us bilingual because we are a nation of passive aggessives.

    Man OH man we are really embarrassing Uncle Sam..look at how tolerant and european we are..
    ooh la la! If only they had noticed boy would they feel foolish eh?

    JOYCE
    You did so!
    It was an absolute pleasure to see you and whatshisface in the rw.
    You took some lovely photos in the smelly house..doesn't even look like we were in the same place?
    Where is the screamer avatar?

    ANDREA
    I concur wholeheartidly, 'shuttlecock' is always funny. It's all in the wrists you know?

    My word how high was the net when you played against that tallish fellow? He would have a wingspan of about 12 feet? You need to come on one of these excursions with the Tobans...the summer outtings anyway.

    DINAHMOW
    Ooh be careful what you wish for..I would love to have you as my guide...and by the way did I mention how lovely you look today? It would take half a year to do a decent walkabout eh?

    THE MICHAEL
    My Goat-T is on for 6 weeks and then off for 6 weeks because I get so bored with my face..UGH I've been staring at it for fifty years.

    I was unaware that you could look 'Canuck' without having a touque on your head?

    PRIME MINISTER PAUL MARTIN
    You are right,as usual, it is Canada D'EH!

    We did do it just to bug you guys so NEENER NEENER NEEN-NER!
    et dites-le encore en français
    NEENER NEENER NEEN-NER!

    I am hesitant to say "mate" and Keshi in the same sentence for fear of being misinterpreted as suggesting something inapropriate for a highbrow section of cyberpsace such as this.

    MJ
    Like the shirt? My daughter brought it back for moi from Montreal don'tchaknow and it is an artsy print of a montreal traffic sign so la di frickin da..

    I understand that brown is the new brown and I am Down with Brown!
    Go Me!

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  23. Belatedly, happy Canada Day. There were huge festivities in our parts to mark the occasion. Unfortunately I missed them. Will have to wait for Australia Day now.

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  24. wait, dude... what?

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  25. I've just had a visit from Australian relatives ... ye Gods. They were septuagenarian Queenslanders of English origin, which might explain why they seem to think they are still living in the 1950s.

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  26. You'll have to head much further north than here for the cane toads, mate!

    I just realised you've mentioned Ayers Rock... is it still referred to that way over there? We've more or less adapted to calling it by it's native/traditional name of Uluru. I've climbed it, you know. The view from the top is spectacular. You can see... nothing... for miles and miles and miles, nothing at all. Flat red sand.

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  27. Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi OI!

    The Aussie's and the Canadian's do have an affinity, it is somewhere between the sense of humor and outlook on life.

    Your soul is definitely part Australian, you will have a ball here. The wombats are the funniest little buggars, koalas are sort of like potheads, all spaced out on eucy and can pee on you and nip your fingers.

    I am off scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef in 4 weeks, ratting around Queensland.

    The tough thing is trying to fit the Australian experience in, which to include/exclude...

    The city people of Oz are a little more refined and the accent less defined, the rural/farming areas is something like Oz time travel....and we love and adore Canadians, they come and work at the agriculture centre and Parks of the Grampians..there is so much for you to see and experience..

    The outback scenery and sheer expanse would take your breath away..

    It really is g'day mate stuff around here...

    Oldest continent on earth? Uniquely different eco, flora and fauna system...okay you keep us informed, where I can help out, count us in if u want, our home is your home.

    It would be great to set up a real Oz experience over in Canada, something really good, it's a cross b/w freaky and fun..:)

    Pam

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  28. OK, on the hat...you picked it up at the dollar store for $1.99. Own up. But that Aussie wordsmithing? Priceless.

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  29. shuttlecock is funny?

    what about
    cockroach
    cockhorse
    ballcock
    cockney
    cockle
    cockeyed
    peacock
    poppycock

    which spring to mind

    are these funny?

    I want to live where 'cock' is smutty funny - there are so many words with cock in them (!). Dick and willy just don't come up (!!) often enough!

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  30. Geez that Ziggi is priceless and hard to argue with.

    Upon seeing her comment, I wanted to fashion a retort with words that had "breast" or "boob" in them.

    But there just is no comparison. I have never felt so cockamamey and helpless.

    But then, Ziggi's a witch. She has the power and can do such things. I imagine.

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  31. SPENTRAILS
    I see yer out on the wahta flat out like a lizard drinkin'...
    prolly throwin sum burley in the waik chummin fer sum great whites eh? Don't figget that they're a bloody protected species..we got a save um to keep the bloody tourist population unda control oye!

    ANNA
    Desite what WW sed, this is an Aussie hat an it's fair dinkum te sai that she's a right beauty.

    ANGEL
    You heard me royt..a'm celebratin' my favorite cunree..it just so happens ta be on the other side of the bloody planet. I know that you cin understan moy accent cause you sith ahfrikaans sound jus like em to us.

    DAPHNE
    Bloody 'ell is roit! Did you have the heart to inform them that Australyer is no longer a penal colony..did you say the 'aiteen' fifties?

    I'm sure that they were lovely. Life was a lot less grey back in the 1950s and I can see the attraction.

    STACE
    Uluru? Wasn't she the bloody communications officer on Star Trek?

    You climbed it?! WOW! Oyd luv ta go up thir where you can see for miles and bloody miles and you can sit an watch your bloody dingo run away..
    for two bloody days.

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  32. PAM
    You are such a dear..
    *wipes tear from eye


    when I did git over there I had every intention of havin a lash at your your station come hayl or highwahta...
    howevah, tinoyt I watched Wolf Creek and now there is no bloody way that I will be leaving the bloody lobby of my five staw hitel in Sednee.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_Creek_(film)

    jus kiddin, you will have a hard time getting rid of us!
    Have fun at the Graight Barrier Reeef!

    WITNESS PROTECTION
    Fer crissake ya bloody gooba thit hat cost me plenty..ow do you suppose Norman ckin afford to pay such huge alimony an still be able to keep Chrissy happy? Those bloody hats are expensive.

    ZIGGI
    Where exactly do you live? Saying the Cock part of any word is always funny..always! Are you trying to tell me that you stiff upper lip types can merrily toss about a cock word with nary a snicker? My Word!

    I can say without fear of contradiction that Dick and Willy are constantly up over here keeping all sorts of ungawdly hours don't you know.

    WITZ END
    Who am I to get in your way should you decide to pursue your lofty ambitions and throw caution to the wind by writing a list of words that contain breast or boob?

    I gleefully await your litany of titinations with baited breast.

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  33. You've already got a good head start there, Mate. Croikey, you go fer it.

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  34. Awesome post mate!!! Hope your next Canada Day's wishes come true.

    Great pics too! JP/deb

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  35. Great pics! I LOL'd lots. Thanks!

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  36. dun tell me u only spotted a painted roo on the wall! THAT BLOODY SUXX MAN!!!

    Come visit Down Under n see real roos! U see em as u drive to Canberra...u dun even hv to go to a Zoo. LOL!


    Keshi.

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  37. Crikey! When you do get Down Under, watch out for the Dingos and the Pubs! Either one can tayke a bite outta ya mate.

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  38. Congratulations and a big ol hearty THANK YOU for being the only Canadian left in his own damn country this past week! Of course the primal, instinctive urge to depart was almost too much for you, wasn't it, judging by the tenor of your post..still, well done for finding a creative solution to the overwhelming drive you all seem to feel to come racing across our border en masse like crazed lemmings on meth.

    Well? What are you waiting for? Everyone else is in America! GO LOOT THE LEXUS DEALERSHIP!!

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  39. WITHERED WEINER
    No YOU go for it! It was your idea.
    Come on be somebody!

    JP/DEB
    Thankya. I'm secretly afraid of going down during the 16 hour flight somewhere over the thousands of miles of Ocean, survive the crash somehow, and become shark appetizer..so we'll see.

    Once I get there I'm going to go in the cage with the Great Whites and that will also require some very heavy sedation!

    KINDNESS
    How you doin? (in my best Joey Tribiani) If I lived in a sunny warm climate like yours I might not need to go to Oz..although you have the proverbial dry heat and no Ocean to speak of..hmmm..there aren't any sharks, box jellyfish or blue ring Octies in a pool are there?

    KESHIROO
    There you are I was starting to wonder what happened to my Roo?
    If I come over will you show me and my crew the noight loyfe din by tha hahber? I guess I'll need to spend a few dieze on Bondi eh?
    Do they have salt peter vendors on the beach?

    BREAKERSLION
    I know the Ozzie mates HATE Canucks because we are so bloody polite and gentlemanly and the Sheilas luv it!
    I'll need to keep buyin' rounds to keep my pristine smile intact eh?

    FIRST NATIONS
    I'm waiting for your National Economy to completely collapse..sometime in the Fall when Oil hits $170 Barrel...then we will come down and shop ala Chez Tarzjey (Target for you Yankees)

    Apparently Canucks are going to travel in Canada this summer because we don't want to get robbed by the hordes of travelling homeless 'Merkins' who have abandoned the negative equity positions in their 215% mortgaged homes....just drop the keys off for the bank in the mail box...
    sounds like the dirty 30s to me...
    only took 3 generations!

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  40. Canada - America's Hat? I don't know why that strikes me as so funny.

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  41. Bondi Beach isnt my fav tho...u should go check out Manly beach!

    ofcourse I'll take ya ard matey :)

    Keshi.

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  42. CITIZEN MONDO
    Because it IS funny that's why!

    KESHIROO
    Does ard mean 'around' or is that strine for hard?

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  43. oh make no mistake dude- i understood every word, lol... i just lost it a little as to how you got to celebrating oz on canada day!??!

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  44. ANGEL
    Because Canada and Australia are FIRST COUSINS!

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