Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, and Birthdays eh?
The 'Great Unwashed' loves Sex Scandals! The best kind of Sex Scandals are sordid affairs that involve high ranking Politicans, holier-than-thou Religious Leaders, and last but not least, Entertainment Celebrities.
Nearly all Human Beings enjoy a reprieve and a distraction from their mundane, meaningless, existance, and Sexcapades are a time honored way of unleashing our gossippy, self-righteous indignation by distracting ourselves with the personal lives of those bastards who seem to have it all. We relish the public humiliation and adore the misery of our so-called betters.
Thankfully the Germans had the foresight to invent a word for it, schadenfreude.
The recent personal and professional implosion of NYC Governor Elliot (rhymes with Idiot) Spitzer is a 24/7 Prime Time example of what I am talking about.
Unlike Bill Clinton who overwhelmed a young, naive, intern, whoopdeedoo, Spitzer atleast paid for sex with a PROstitute. A twenty two year old Call Girl named Ashley Dupree is almost certainly guaranteed her Fifteen Minutes of Warholian Infamy in Playboy. Here she is flashing her self acknowledging V for Victory sign for inadvertently catapulting herself to fame.
Anyone remember Televangelist Jim Bakker's victim Jessica Hahnjob?
Thanks to the split Puritan or Porn Star identity crisis in America and the ubiquitous Class Warfare in the United Kingdom, both of these countries enjoy a constant supply of Sex Scandals. Time constraints obviously prohibit me from providing a decent list. Oddly enough some of the more inexplicable transgressions, such as the Hugh "I'm An Idiot"Grant & Divine Brown thingamabob, are actually joint USA-UK productions.
Here in Canada we don't get many Sex Scandals and we have become hopelessly reliant on the USA and the UK to supply us.
Surprised? You shouldn't be, our national symbol is the Beaver, we're trapped indoors for 7 bloody months of the year, and Canadians are bilingual..what did you think that meant? We don't need to buy lingual because we are an orally fixed nation. The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind.
In fact our last half-decent scandal was in the late 70s when Prime Minister Trudeau's ex wife Margaret was linked to Ronny Wood from the Rolling Stones.
I'll bet you didn't know that in the late 60's Trudeau was the groovy 'Yentlman' who was schtupping Barbara Stresisand...
I'm a little verklempt...
What if Babs had become our First Lady?
Getting back to the Spitzer Sex Scandal, Left Wing Comedian Bill Maher wrote,
"people need sex, and married people generally aren't getting it except on Valentine's Day, Anniversaries and Birthdays. Married people are often starved for sex, touch, affection, not to mention the kinky stuff that wifey definitely won't do."
Bill forgot to mention Holidays...hello?!
From the Right, Talk Show Know-it-all Dr. Laura said,
"when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings — sexually, personally — to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman."
You're preachin' to the choir Sistah!
Oops did I say that out loud?
I meant what a load of crap!
You might find this hard to swallow but both Maher and Schlesinger may be on to something; according to statistical data made up on the Internet 80% of men hire prostitutes for the 'pro-cure-ment' of Oral Sex.
You know what else bugs us ...we all really hate those gawdawful, mandatory, public, pseudo-apologies that we are forced to endure when these shmucks get caught.
Silda Spitzer, ironically pictured wearing a pearl necklace, is now fodder for the Kangaroo Court of Public Opinion;-to some like Doctor Laura and Maher she is perceived as the proverbial 'cold fish' who probably had sex on Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, and Birthdays, and drove her poor husband to pay for sex.
Others see her as a steadfast wife who gave up a promising career, raised the kids, and stands by her man like Tammy Wynette.
Many more will see her as a self-deluded, dishrag, enabler who should kick her husband to the curb and clean him out in Divorce Court.
She may very well be a combination of all of the above but actually it's none of our business! Unfortunately the Cult Of Celebrity has made her life a bona fide living hell and the Mediarazzi will be perched over her like Vultures waiting to see what she does.
This scandal automatically re-ignites huge problems for Hillary Clinton's bid for the White House. Her decision to stay by Bill's side will be regurgitated and most will probably find that hard to swallow. Many think that Hillary would be much further ahead by now if she had booted Bill...
but then again it is the USofA and would a divorced woman even be allowed to contemplate running for President?
Any suggestions on any of this from the Peanut Gallery?