For most of us growing up in a Protestant Church, talking about SEX was uber verboten..except to remind you that it was only 'intelligently designed' for married couples and then at best, a tedious necessity required in order to fill the pews. It was called Procreation.
Now Procreation means that you don't believe in Human Evolution, like Republican Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee ((D'OH!))
Of course this stern prohibition on recreational sex did not apply to the competition. It certainly did not apply to Catholics who were expected to reproduce in rabbit like numbers thanks to the Papal ban on contraception.
Nor was it of any concern to Mormons and Muslims who of course could respectively 'get around' (ha ha) this issue by participating in plural marriages and possesing haremic spousal units consisting of no more than 4 wives that must be treated equally. This is actually more of a evolutionarily accurate system but I'm not goin' there..only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
The eventual Puritannical pronouncement on the evils of the flesh really put a damper on the carnal pleasures of making love. Many a late night was spent by Deacons feverishly tearing out all of the pages in the Bible containing the inappropriate and incendiary Song of Solomon.
This awe inspiring Book, authored by King Solomon, was a beautifully dedicated and exquisitely written love letter glorifying the mystical scents and sensibilities regarding Romance & SEX.
However the Puritan Revolution made certain that for Centuries to come, Sex and Romance were never spoken of in the same sentence..
Never the twain shall meet so to speak, or the twain might go off the twacks!
This Book was written by a guy who 'knew', yes in the Biblical sense, of which he spoke. King Solomon or Schlomo, is noted for having acquired 700 wives and 300 concubines. Aside from Solomon possessing the Wisdom of Solomon, he also had the supernatural ability to peacefully placate 700 wives, a miracle in and of itself.
Technically, he was making a deposit in a different account every night for 2.74 years. Those figures (ha ha) are defintely NOT the kind of 'speculation' that the nice, church, ladies wanted their husbands to have an 'interest' in.
So now here we are in the 21st Century and memberships in organised religious groups are in decline and being challenged from every corner by seductive-sinful-secular entertainment and scary-soul scorching-scientific rationalism.
What can be done?
Well it just so happens that there is a church near Tampa, Florida, that may have stumbled upon the answer. The Relevant Church, now now, you oxymoronic aficionados control yourselves, as I was saying, The Relevant Church has issued a
outlined HERE on their website.
Yessiree Married Couples commit to make whoopee every day for 30 days and Singles vow to abstain from having sex, I presume with another person, for 30 days. ..unless it is a Seinfeldian 'Master of their Domain' thingamabob?
Here is a photo of the mastermind behind the campaign, Pastor PAUL WITH (Left) with the lucky-little-lady, his wife SUSIE WITH.
Hey who's Susie With? Paul With! No Who's on Third?
Well some of you might be thinking Only in America but to tell you the truth I am quite impressed with this marketing scheme. To combat the 50% divorce rate these pioneers are willing to throw traditionalisms out the stained glass window and fight fire with fire. Say No More nudge nudge wink wink is a lot more fun than Stray No More.
If you can't beat 'em,
Can somebody give me an AMEN!