homo escapeons

WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
Why we screw UP.

According to some estimates, 10-30% of children don't have a single atom of their Daddy's DNA!

Now I have rambled on at length about how the cervix dips down into the vagina during orgasm to retrieve as much sperm as possible. But here is why that is important. This evolutionary development enabled females to increase the chance of harvesting more desirable genes from someone other than the big, hairy, brute, that they might be 'stuck with'. Har Har.

Eons ago, a secret mid-afternoon tryst with the cute-smart-funny-caveguy from across the valley, allowed females to secretly produce more cute-smart-funny guy/gal offspring. These offspring will be more desirable to future suitors and will therefore give her gene pool a better chance of continuing.

Since the big, hairy, brute, has no clue when she was fertile or if she was ‘faking it’, he can be duped into secretly raising somebody else’s child. Nature’s remedy is to make most of the male’s deposit contain killer and blocker sperm to destroy smart-cute-funny guy sperm that may have made it’s way into the love canal.

Another trick is to make females tell their mates that their newborn looks just like her Daddy.

This sneaky scenario can be summed up by the 80/5 rule.

Evolutionary Psychologists estimate that 80% of women are only interested in reproducing with 5% of men. Now those are bad odds. What this all means, is that 50% of women of settling for good enough genes, because 10-30% are double dipping. OK think about that for a second.

On the other hand, would it be realistic to imagine, under the right circumstances ie; not getting caught, that 80% of men would voluntarily copulate with all but 5% of women? Hmmm.

Now to be fair, there are those diehard romantics who believe that the Clitoral development evolved to strengthen pair bonding. This adaptation was necessary to ensure that the pre-scheduled Wednesday Evening and Sunday Afternoon couplings atleast had a chance of being more enjoyable. This biweekly rendezvous would therefore have the potential to be mutually enjoyable and hopefully aid in preserving a monogamous relationship.

That being said, when one takes a casual glance at almost any Women’s Magazines or Website it becomes painfully self evident that most men seem to know more about the Ford Taurus than the Clitoris. Apparently most men are still fumbling around in the dark. It’s all rather hit or miss. Far too many men seem to think that the Clitoris is a type of flower or an ancient Roman Emperor.

Clitoris Maximus

Men have probably been jealous for millennia because female humans are the only gender that have an organ that is designed exclusively for sexual pleasure. This marvelous feature reminds us that all vertebrates are initially formed as females and therefore men are mutants yada-yada-yada.

Hear me ROAR!

This does make men's plumbing seem more primitive, like monotremes (single entry/exit-coming/going organisms) since their orgasm organ has a dual purpose…I guess ditremes would be more accurate.

Now before anyone else says it, yes the BRAIN is the single most important sex organ, but that totally ruins my thesis. Either way it does explain why there is so much friction in human relationships, and not the right kind of friction.

In conclusion, we can now postulate from the evidence that most heterosexuals desire pairbonding but Nature keeps our backdoor/options open. Homo Sapeons have developed quite an arsenal of remedies to combat the tricks of the opposite gender. We still keep trying to pretend that we are hopeless romantics even though we evolved by being sneaky little rascals.

This is why we screw up our relationships when we screw-up.