Tuesday, August 14, 2007

LOOKING IN THROUGH THE OUT DOOR


I actually enjoy being Introverted.

According to an article by Elizabeth Svoboda in Psychology Today, being a loner/soloist/ isn't such a terrible thing. Introverted people make up one quarter of the population. They aren't less sociable they just engage in the world a little differently.


Svoboda quotes Psychologist Jonathon Cheek for stating that "some people simply have a low need for affiliation." She also mentions another psychologist, Amanda Guyer, who "has found that socially withdrawn people have increased sensitivity to all kinds of emotional interactions and sensory cues, which may mean that they find pleasure where others do not."


Now they are all talking about loners who are voluntarily exploring Life from the inside and not those who are pathologically imprisoned by phobias.


I would guess that 99% of the Bloggers that I enjoy reading are basically Introverts like me who spend a lot of time in their heads. I think that is normal, and those who starve for exterior stimulation and need to be where the action is, are weird...although I can and will make a public spectacle of myself every once in a while to prove that I am normal.


I have no problem being on stage and making a speech to a couple hundred people or tearin' up the dance floor at a social event. I just don't need to do that very often because I don't get my strokes from that.


My rewards in Life come from intimate moments with people that I care about in one on one situations or in small groups, and from those wonderful 'light bulb moments' that happen every once in a while.


I am quite content to view the world as an inner journey and would never get a Lonerotomy. Most of the people on Earth seem to think that being a loner is being a freak and anti social. They picture tortured souls shuffling around a Penthouse in Vegas with 8 inch toenails hidden in Kleenex boxes and peeing in storage jars like poor Mr. Howard Hughes.


The Psychologists mentioned in the article speculate that Introverts have an added sensitivty "thanks to their strong emotional antennae" and "withdrawn people have a very high sensory acuity". DUH!


"Because loners are good at noticing subtleties that other people miss they are well suited for careers that require close observation, like writing and scientific research."


Do you consider yourself to be more
Introverted or Extroverted?
By the way is a 50/50 combo realistic or even possible?

34 comments:

  1. I'd say I'm about 500 per cent introvert, if it's possible - to the extent that I tend to panic around/avoid people I don't know ... which means that I get labelled as "cold", "distant", "unfriendly", "snobby" and the rest. A lot of extrovert people tend not to make allowances for anyone who isn't like them, so they have to portray non-extroverts in quite a negative light.

    I find it interesting that there are people who habitually crave company, whereas others habitually avoid it. It just proves that the saying "everyone's the same under the skin" isn't true.

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  2. I'm an introvert though more extrovert than Betty. I'm just as hopeless in big groups (more than 3) of people, though. Don't ever invite us to a party or we'll hibernate.

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  3. im positively 100% introvert, there is no 50/50 possibility. Either you're with me or you're against me. No wonder we get along so nicely. hahahah...

    well actually, if we say 50/50, then its just called moody people, get depressed for a week then burn the clubs forever.

    What I find most rewarding is the moments of being alone when I can enjoy my Bocelli or Timbaland and sing out lot and paint my words on blog posts like there is no tomorrow. Heck who cares, end of the day we die, and there will be a million more introverts born. But what I fear most are controlledverts - the people who are controlled by someone!

    Freedom is worth more than anything!

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  4. In my personal life I am 100% introvert and can travel thousands of miles inside my head with no need for company.

    But at work my alter ego takes over. I get up on my own stage at the restaurants and become MC Cream. The only thing is that whatever I do, I feel I do for my own inner enjoyment and not the customer's.
    Often during service, I retreat to my office between orders to read someone's blog or check for comments.

    At parties, I like to leave my mark even if it is dancing like a maniac or making a fool of myself.

    Then it's back to my own cocoon to reflect.

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  5. I almost keeled over at first when you described yourself as an introvert!

    But after reading the entire post, I agree in many senses -- you are.

    You have an outer persona that is, at times, loud, obnoxious, teasing, tremendously funny.

    You are the life of the party, when you party. Especially when booze is on hand.

    But even while all that's going on, you're thinking another 90 per cent inside your own head.

    You like your alone time to ponder all the things you blog about and wonder about -- which is far more than most people I know -- and you need to work things out.

    You have theories and well-reasoned beliefs and scenarios for everything from religion to politics to evolution to nature to modern culture.

    You're fascinatingly individualistic. I would never have thought it when I first met you and still have a hard time believing it now, but I think in your own way, you ARE introverted.

    You're just so loud doing it...

    To answer your question, I do consider myself introverted but not entirely. And I think 50/50 is realistic.

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  6. I would guess that 99% of the Bloggers that I enjoy reading are basically Introverts like me who spend a lot of time in their heads.

    I agree with this. I used to be more introverted than I am now. I still am to a degree, but relative to before, I'm certainly more extroverted than before.

    I think your point is evident in the amount I update my blog now compared to how much I used to at the beginning.

    I'd say your theory is right on.

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  7. All of my acquaintances would laugh themselves silly if I ever said I am an introvert.

    Like I said in my bio, I can be insanely sociable when the situation calls for it. I guess I could say I was 50/50 but that wouldn't be true.

    I don't shy away from people but I also prefer being with a select group of friends or just my family. I can be the life of a party or draw out a shy person into talking. People are very comfortable with me because I fill the gaps in conversation when needed. But the key is it DRAINS me when I do that. Totally saps my energy because it isn't natural to me. I would rather read in a corner than socialize (have done so during large family gatherings when no one cares).

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  8. Sexy brows ;-)

    Ur def an Extrovert..I'd say?

    Im kind of both...cmon Im an introvert when I want to be and Im an extrovert when Im pissed LOL!

    Keshi.

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  9. I am both...I love my won company and like to study and get into me..and then I like to be out there and involved in things too.

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  10. I'm a born introvert but I could see that this would hold me back in life.

    So I made a point to observe my extremely extroverted brother to take lessons in how to be more outgoing.

    I had to draw the line at taking my clothes off at parties though. Yes, he's THAT extroverted.

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  11. So far, we're all pretty much in agreement and in the same boat.
    When I was a little girl, my mother called me a "lone wolf" which, at the time, I found hurtful.But now I do understand what she meant.
    I bet if you researched it further, you'd find many actors in this category. I know I was fine as long as I had a character to hind behind, but I didn't want to show everyone the real me inside.
    Today, older, a little wiser and less hung-up,I can be with "my" people from time to time, but still relish my solo time.
    Another thought-provoking post, HE.

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  12. Well there isn't much to guessing me now is there? I do not spend days in the house like a tied up dog, however, I do spend a good part of my day in my head. I work better alone, I would rather do things myself that have to bother someone else with it.
    I do not tink I am withdrawn or weird, just like my time to do what I need without the fuss around me.

    I agree that introverts are super sensitive, but what would the world be like if we weren't here?

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  13. "My rewards in Life come from intimate moments with people that I care about in one on one situations or in small groups, and from those wonderful 'light bulb moments' that happen every once in a while."-
    HE, your words above sum up my philosphy precisely.
    I'm introverted not to be confused with shy as too many people make that mistake. I, too, can create a sensation on the dance floor, but that's not the point.

    Reflective- in our heads, more sensitive- oh yes!!!
    Terrific post.
    I cannot fathom a 50/50 possiblity on this topic. To me, that would negate the definition of either characteristic...oh wait, my brain is going full gear: One could be 50/50 depending on the situations presented. Ex. On the dancefloor, I sure look extroverted to onlookers although I feel introverted...

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  14. Introverted and usually anti-social :)

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  15. i dunno if a combination is possible... unless one is schizophrenic maybe?
    i definitely think i am more extroverted while damien is more introverted.
    i adore being in the spotlight and i do a lot to draw attention to myself- always have, from teenage pregnancy to tattoos!

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  16. betty,
    Your profile is remarkably accurate and genuine.
    I think that you and I just like having 'our space' but really enjoy sharing it with a select few.
    The great thing about this medium is that you can pick and choose when to be socially intercoursed.

    geoff,
    Ha! You would be one of the first people that I would invite so that I could pick your brain about music and bands...OK I will only invite one other person.

    ghosty,
    I think that we 'Intros' have a natural prejudice against 'Extros' because they seem so obssessed on being right in the thick of it all that we equate that with following the crowd. We need to atleast pretend to be more open minded about that even if it is true.

    Cream,
    Well said. There is a real joy in being comfortable in your own skin. Making a fool of oneself is inevitable (and quite liberating for the most part, I love it) but atleast we Introverts have figured out that you don't have to do it in front of dozens of other people.

    without keeling over,
    I AM AN INTROVERT!
    i mean i am an introvert. You probably know me better than anyone else and you should realise that my behavior in college was my defence against being labelled as an introverted intellectual because look at the way that I picked on the other introverted intellectuals!

    introvertedblogger,
    In order to function in the so-called real world we need to push ourselves into social situations that demand being a little more out-there! If we are doing it as a step towards a goal then it is no problemo. I think that Intros don't squander affection on others..we are more of a sniper than just using a shotgun.

    menchie,
    That is a wonderful explanation. I always think that I have to fill in those uncomfortable pauses...you know nature abhors a vacuum. When I am surrounded by people other than intimates I assume that you should make the most of it and when people stand there and stare at each other I scream..COME ON!
    Maybe I am just rude. Fran Leibowitz said that the opposite of talking isn't listening..it's waiting!

    keshiroo,
    You are an introvert trapped in an extrovert's body! What exactly do Aussies mean when they say that they are pissed..
    in Canada it means drunk and in the US it means angry.

    cazmaniac,
    You just might be that elusive 50/50. I envison you as an incredibly warm gregarious insightful person BUT being a nurse you have to have that draw the line in the sand, this is how it is, practical approach to dealing with other human beings and doctors.

    mj,
    I believe you and I would say Congratulations. Believe it or not I use to take my clothes off BEFORE parties...the best defense is an offensive offense.

    dinahmow,
    Do you suppose that this predilection will help us deal with the end? I mean that since we are OK with being alone would that help us in those final hours...we could be alone for a looonnnnggg time.

    inside our hands
    I wish that I would have said
    "I would rather do things myself that have to bother someone else with it. I do not tink I am withdrawn or weird, just like my time to do what I need without the fuss around me."
    Perfect.


    gel,
    "I'm introverted not to be confused with shy as too many people make that mistake" Amen.
    Sometimes other citizens make tha mistake of assuming that I am reserved and ask me for money or say something stupid...SURPRISE!

    laura elizabeth,
    Welcome back. You say anti-social like it is a bad thing. Can't wait to roast Rove with you...let's catch up.

    angel,
    You're a Star baby! SHINE!
    I understand the difference between self confidence and the other thingamabob. I have always been comfortable hanging around with people who can handle attracting a lot of attention.
    Does that make sense.
    If ya got it!

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  17. **! What exactly do Aussies mean when they say that they are pissed..

    kinda when u chuck a spas....ropeable...cut snake...LOL u lost?

    Keshi.

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  18. k let me be normal now...it means ANGRY :)

    Keshi.

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  19. I like being alone, yet I can take centre stage when the need arises.

    I am who I am, and sometiumes I don't know what that is!

    the only thing that impresses me is the reflection I get when I look in the mirror!

    Or so I tell people!

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  20. nothing wrong with 8 inch toe nails

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  21. I consider myself to be an Omnivert, although I'll say that historically, I am more introverted than any extrovert I have ever met. I am not 100% comfortable in front of large crwds, but small crowds don't bother me unless they are armed.

    I enjoy interacting with people on line because unlike me, most of them think before they write, and also, certain barriers are down. People don't tend to waste time in social pleasantries when they write either. "So how's the weather in Meatlocker Wisconsin?"

    I would also like to make the distinction between extroverts and narcissists. One rushes headlong into life, and the other demands that life rush headlong to them. Narcissists are all output and no input.

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  22. keshtar,
    So you Aussies share the WRONG meaning of the word with the Yanks.
    Pissed means drunk.

    whitesnake,
    Ok you asked for it!
    ((I'm starting with the man in the mirror WOoh!
    I'm asking him to change his ways.
    That man, that man, that man
    I'm asking him to change his ways
    Better change!
    You know... That man
    No message could have been any clearer
    If you wanna make the world a better place
    Take a look at yourself and then make a change
    Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
    Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah
    Oh yeah!))

    breakerslion,
    Ha that is the biggest difference isn't it? Most people do think before they write.
    Excellent point about the N'ARSE-cissists...how tedious!

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  23. Homo escapeons, you may describe yourself as introverted in everyday life but over the keyboard of a computer you are definitely extroverted, with I might add and extraordinary wit.

    As for myself, I tend to be mostly introverted unless there is a particular issue or topic I feel strongly about of which then I can sometimes go extrovertmental (how's that for a new word?) over the internet and in real life.

    That hasn't happened in some time so I remain for the moment introverted.

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  24. I'm an introverted extrovert. Anotherwords, I want the WHOLE world to just leave me alone. Hey you, yes YOU, you're included.....GO AWAY! NO, the OTHER WAY, idiot! Thank you.

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  25. I read that stat too, maybe eighteen years ago - three quarters are extroverted. Figure that's why introverts get a bad rap!

    I like how the two are described in the Myers-Briggs personality test:

    Extroverts: energized from without.

    Introverts: energized from within.

    Pretty fair minded and basically accurate sounding to me.

    For myself, I also distinguished a negative introversion - shyness - that I had in my teenage years and into my early twenties, from that "energized from within" quality that I've had throughout life and long after the shyness was history.

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  26. Interesting ! As WW puts it 'I am almost keeled over ... you as an introvert', so am I :-)) I think there might be a little confusion between being introvert-extrovert (that's one characteristic, meaning if your energy is directed outwards to other people or inwards to yourself, to like it more to be with other people than to be alone, to be talkative or quiet, ...) and being a thinker-a doer (does that word exist ? with a doer I mean someone who likes it more to be busy doing things such as sports, works, ... than to be thinking, reading, comparing, developing opinions, ...) and being high sensitive or less sensitive (it is true that there is a correlation between high sensitivity and being introvert, but 25 % of the high sensitive people is extrovert). So, you can be extrovert and a thinker, and to my humble opinion that's what you are and extrovert that's what most bloggers by definition are, they want to communicate, to let others know what they think, to interact, they want to express themselves to other people. And of course in being extrovert (as in all other characteristics) there are degrees, one can be a little or very much extrovert but that is extrovert, and one can be a little or very much introvert but this is introvert. To my humble opinion, as the Chinese would say :-)

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  27. Whenever I'm asked this question, my first instinct is to reply extrovert. Then I think about it for half a second and the answer is clearly introvert. Quite honestly, I really think I might just be a 50/50 combo. It really depends on the situation (I generally adapt well to just about any situation and any group of people) and on my mood (there are times when I wish so desperately that I could live a hermitary existence). So I don't know. Maybe I'm just an extroverted introvert. Yeah, that's it!

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  28. How do you spot an extroverted science geek?

    He stares at other peoples feet.

    I am not sure which catergory i fit into, I have done a heap of crazy stuff i love going out, however i am generaly with drawn.... Maybe i am in that grey area.

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  29. It depends. I can be both. Maybe I am moody. Who knows? Who cares?

    I certainly don't!!

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  30. grumbletaxi2:55 p.m.

    You talkin' ta me?! So what, if i'm
    ...whatever you called it... inverted? I'm goin' ta the movies,
    if they'll let me in.

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  31. I guess you just uncovered a disorder that I didn't know I had. Apparently I have MPD? I've got to have my people, or my face starts to sag down into my lap. But then I need time for my endless thinking. Ideally that time is ALONE, but preschoolers will do, since at least I don't have to carry conversation with them indefinately.

    So I'm 50/50? or MPD?

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  32. Introverted as a child, extroverted as an adult...does that count as 50/50?

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  33. scott,
    The Blogosphere is where all introverts can act like extroverts!
    Enjoy the freedom. Go crazy on your issues because in a thousand years who is gonna care eh?

    THE Michael,
    Well if you find a way to keep idiots at bay the world will beat a path to your doorstep.

    paul,
    Energized from within is a good thing..unless of course you are a Stalin, Mao, Hitler, Ghengis Kahn, or Karl Rove.

    hildegarde,
    I do enjoy discussing ideas with others out here because in the real world most introverted people hesitate to divulge their well guarded notions and ideas unless cornered or drunk...and those are the good people!
    The idiots like me who toss out their half-baked conceptions at the drop of a hat are too tedious to deal with.
    Hooray for the blogosphere!

    anna,
    Everybody wants to be that healthy well rounded indivdual who is a 50/50. I suppose that most of us have elements of both and that things that interest us bring out that extra energy in us.
    I know that in public settings I make a point of overcompensating for my shyness because I HATE WATCHING PEOPLE SIT AROUND AND STARE AT EACH OTHER!

    aidan,
    I think that you save your energy for important matters. You have prolly figured out that a lot of what you say goes flying over the heads of others It can be depressing but when you finally meet someone who giggles hold on to them for dear life.

    gautami,
    I care. You are moody (your words) because you are an artist struggling to come to grips with your unique role in the universe set amidst the backdrop of the enormity of the human experience.
    Mmm that sounds serious enough eh?

    travisfish,
    America loves nutjobs as long as they are dedicated to their craft. The tenacious psychopath somehow gets kudos for his stick-with-it-ness! Atleast in the movies.

    joyce,
    Aha! Listen you are preaching to the choir. I think that it is normal to incessantly think about weird things from the moment that you wake until the credits at the end of your dream.
    Think, think, think.
    The only behavior modification that I actively work on is trying to listen to other people talk, instead of just waiting for them to shut their piehole so that I can finally get a word in. How rude!

    mutha,
    Me too. I was painfully shy as a child. Sometimes I would stay in the car while my parents visited friends..now I think that would be considered endangerment.
    During my teen years I did a complete 180 that was so artificial...
    but my true friends saw past this facade.
    I have always thought that was interesting.

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