homo escapeons

HEY GOOD LOOKIN'
WHATCHA GOT COOKIN'?

Let's be honest...Cooking Shows are not really just about Cooking and Society no longer resembles the Leave It To Beaver June Cleaver world of the 50s anymore does it? So WHY are they still reheating this tired old format? Aren't they getting spread a little too thin?

I mean C'MON you and I are never, ever, going to try and duplicate those ridiculous recipes....pffft!

First of all most of us don't have 5,ooo square feet of Kitchen space that is equipped with $200,000 worth of equipment and a pantry that is overflowing and stocked with every known edible substance on the planet.

These televisual feasts began in the 50s so that advertisers could sell crap to the ubiquitous American Housewife. But those days and demographics are gone, so why are they still making these shows and for whom?

HEllO!
Cooking shows featuring Hottie Hostesses are served up for Gay Women, Gay Men and and a smattering of straight guys.

Shows featuring Hunky Hosts are primarily whipped up for Gay Men and a sprinkling of straight women.

For the record I am not a homophobe and I have Gay friends and relatives just like you do..whether you realise it or not.

I always enjoyed the odd foray out dancing with mixed company at Whateverpeg's hot gay bar Geo's, and in all of my years in commercial real estate I never had more fun than when I relocated our city's lesbian nightclub, Ms Purdy's, back to their original location.

That being said have you ever noticed that Martha is actually 'pretty butch' but most of the other gals are sooo girly. Why would housewives want to look at women that are so pulled together in the middle of the day anyway?

According to urban legend and stereotypical TV and Film representations of persons who are biologically homosexual in their orientation...oh for gawdsake...
look most people believe that Gay people spend an inordinate amount of time finessing in the kitchen and are more fanatical about entertaining in a perfectly coordinated home...right?

What are the odds that the Ad Geniuses are going to waste millions of dollars on an endangered species like stay at home run of the mill housewives sittin' around scratchin' themselves in their moo-moos while eating a bag of storebought cookies and watchin' Springer, Maury or Montel?

Puh-leeze!

Ok maybe a few, but they are throwin' money out the window!
Here is a good example...
My buddy Within, Without and I are big fans of Nigella...mmmm...
I must confess that we have actually watched her show when we get together during our weekly guy's night out.

BUT...We could care less what she is cooking up because one cannot help but notice the goodies on her rack. If that doesn't give you a hankerin' for some English Muffin what would? Which segment of the population is interested in tarts like her? Hmmm?

So basically those advertisers are simply burning their money when a couple of mooks like us watch her?

What about the latest Flavour of the Month, the terminally perky Rachel Ray. Which daytime viewers are really interested in her pie?








Now Ladies, I ask you...why would they call Jamie Oliver's show the Naked Chef?
Who likes his buns?








If The Naked Chef looked more like this then ordinary housewives and gay men would be a lot happier.
Now you're cookin' with gass!







One exception may be South Park's Chef who dispenses the vital ingredients to young adults for
makin' L O V E, old school.
But I may be wrong about that too.






Unfortunately my Mother's generation had to set their timers for Graham's crackers..ew...
well it was either him or the amazonian Julia Childs?
Can you say Man Hands!

It should be obvious by now who these shows are really made for. It's time to just accept the fact that what's cookin' on TV may not be designed for the one size fits all world...

so you don't have to feel guilty about pulling it all together anymore.

Whew!