Wednesday, November 22, 2006

VICARIOUS VALIDITY
In our culture it is easy to gauge how old you are getting by monitoring the viability and stature of the celebrities that are the same age as you are.
















I watched the Madonna special last night and thought to myself, ' Hey we're the same age...

You go girl.. Madonna, Madonna.'

Madonna is 48 and so am I, for a few more weeks...
yes my fellow pedantrists my Birthdate is Decembrrr 57..OK..do the math if you must?.




If on the other hand I thought that she was starting to look a little long in the tooth then I would have to adjust my settings... but for now, the Material Girl still has it goin' on therefore I feel as if I haven't reached the top of the hill and started rolling down the other side. I know that this sounds stupid, because it is, but in a society that is so obssessed with youth every little bit helps.


No matter how vapid this vanity seems I must confess that by simply vicariously hitchin' my wagon to Madonna's ass, it keeps me feeling youthful and viable.


Another equally famous person who WAS my age

Michael Jackson.

We don't have time to discuss his unique set of circumstances and between you and me I think that he has had a bit of work done so he isn't much help in some respects...
but he is the King of Pop and history will never forgive, I mean forget him.









Last but not least is a guy who was born in 1957 who really, no really, makes me feel young and carefree...
Osama Bin Laden.


I suppose if he shaved off his beard he would look a lot younger...it works for me though because he looks way older than I do.


Here for my enjoyment is a list of other celebs my age that you could care less about but I intend to monitor their progress to see how old I am getting...



ACTRESSES
Sharon Stone, Annette Bening, Madeline Stowe, Holly Hunter, Michelle Pfeiffer, Rachel Ward, Andy McDowell, Jennifer Tilly

ACTORS
Daniel Day Lewis, Gary Oldman, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Bacon, Viggo Mortensen,Christopher Lambert, Tim Robbins and Spike Lee

MUSICIANS
Prince, Kate Bush, Simon Le Bon, Donny Osmond, Sid Vicious, Joan Jett, Neil Finn, Grandmaster Flash, Paul Weller, Sheila E and Belinda Carlisle

COMEDIANS
Ray Romano, Jon Lovitz, Denis Leary, Ellen DeGeneres, Bernie Mac, Megan Mullaly, Keenan Ivory Wayans and Dan Castellanta (DOH!)


I know that this is very unscientific and ridiculous but what are ya gonna do?
In closing I leave you with these timeless words of wisdom from Groucho Marx who once said,
"you are only as old as the woman you feel"
...not exactly PC but it does tie in nicely to my earlier comment about Madonna's ass!


Name the 3 MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE who just so happen to be the same age as you?

50 comments:

  1. I'm shameless enough to admit that I think Osama Bin Laden is fairly tasty (even with the beard). In a purely aesthetic way of course. Oh dear.

    I don't know if they're the most famous people of the same age as me, but "dreamy" Brad Pitt, banana faced martial arts geek Quentin Tarantino and car crashin', dope smokin' George Michael are all 43. As far as I can tell, there are no famous 43 year old women because famous women all "disappear" to have unconvincing plastic surgery when they hit 38.

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  2. betty!,
    Ooh lala! Well Betty I hope that the CIA doesn't read this and ban you from entering the US of A. What is it with women and 'bad boys'?
    Brad Pitt counter balances Tarantino..but
    YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH if you are to believe that George will be able to stay out of the tabloids on his rocket like trajectory from the famous to the infamous category.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tom Cruise, Jodie Foster and Axl Rose.

    (The cast of Silence of the Lambs)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi geoff,
    "Run along now Clarice" ha...
    Cruise, Foster & Rose
    would make a much better Law Firm than mine,
    Ciccone, Jackson & bin Laden!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am the odd-man-out because I never like to gauge my stature with celebrities but at work, we relate to one another who belong to the same age. We have a director who looks like she is 24 years old, no botox but no wrinkles. She is gregarious, talented, very smart and kind. She inspires all of us. We were so shocked to find out she was 54!I work with very many talented women and our age range between 38 to 58 and it's pure joy to share a dynamic, productive and fun workplace. It makes it more real. Unfortunately we determine each other's age based on the number and type of prescriptions we take!!!

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  6. Anonymous10:02 AM

    You've got a great list, Donn. Osama? He and Madonna cannot be the same age. That is an excellent illustration of the desparities between the cultures of the world. I guess goat-herding and cave-livin' really puts on the years.

    Here's some kick-ass women I discovered on my list:
    Jennifer Garner
    Gwyneth Paltrow
    Mia Hamm

    Wheesh, I'm not sure how that makes me feel!
    -Heather

    ReplyDelete
  7. ces,
    HA! Before I descend into my well deserved shame spiral I would like to defend my celebrity barometer by stating for the record that I work tirelessly at appearing to be shallow. In fact I make it look almost effortless.

    That being said, I, like billions of others, shamelessly and deliberately choose to associate myself with hipster entertainers as a sycophantic excercise to justify my very existence.

    I'm sorry that you eschew this simple, easy to use formula...its a no-brainer. Associating with and relating to REAL people, while honorable, is simply too much work.

    ReplyDelete
  8. HATTER!!!
    Why aren't you blogging?
    Well let's see..Garner, Paltrow & Hamm sounds like an acounting firm doesn't it? Wow you are a spring chicken.
    Have you ever heard Gwynyth syngyth Bette Davis Eyes?
    In closing I would like to quote Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
    "Please come again"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Decembrrr the what? When? Cough it up.

    ReplyDelete
  10. mj,
    ..and spoil the surprise?
    I am 3 days older than the other Donny..the Donny that ruined my life and supplied school bullys with all of the ammunition that they needed to taunt and jeer anyone else who grew up in the 60s & 70s as a Donny...

    I'll get you Osmond!

    ReplyDelete
  11. 43 year old women....well let me tell ya...Jennifer Beals, Whitney Houston, Lisa Kudrow, Vanessa Williams to name but a few and then on the guys side Brad Pitt, Larry the Cable Guy, Coolio, Jet Li, MJ Michael Jordan and mr. Mike Myers. A few of them make me feel young again...

    ReplyDelete
  12. hodedoddle,
    43 HA! Punk.
    I have scars older than that!

    ReplyDelete
  13. reyspoutine2:11 PM

    cindy crawford
    mike tyson
    rob zombie

    ...the people i knew about, but as fate would have it, here is one i most definitely did not:
    abu musab al zarqawi.
    how's that for coincidence.
    other faves are adam sandler, chris rock and john cusack.
    ack, and janet jackson.

    i remember when i was 21 and mike tyson won the heavyweight boxing title, and i thought, yeah, it'd be cool to be a heavyweight boxer.
    then i ended up looking like rob zombie.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous3:22 PM

    Gee! How does one find the ages of the aged? If anyone can come up with a 61 year old "star"...let me know and I'll arrange its transition to red dwarf!

    ReplyDelete
  15. reyspoonfed,
    A couple minutes in a tanning bed and you'd be doing a mean bin laden!
    One would indeed be hardpressed to find a deeper mystery in the universe than the inexplicable pairing a psychotic, vicious, sociopath like Mike Tyson,
    with a lispy, little-girl 'voith'
    ..one that will surely remain one of the great unanswerable questions in Life.

    ReplyDelete
  16. dinahmow,
    61 years old/Born in 1945:
    How about....
    Eric Clapton, Mia Farrow, Goldie Hawn, John Lithgow, Bette Midler, Van Morrison, Priscilla Presley, Tom Selleck, Pete Townsend, Neil Young and Fonzie/Henry Winkler.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Colin Firth (yum)
    Hugh Grant (not so yum)
    Linda Fiorentino

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ha! You've hit on a good one, Homer Escapeons. But I'm not only going to give you three born in 1955.

    Note my apparent affinity towards assassins, computer geniuses, comics and entertainers...

    Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean)
    Sandra Bernhard (Comic)
    Dana Carvey (Comic)
    Rosanne Cash (Country Musician)
    Mark David Chapman (Assassin of Beatle John Lennon)
    Kevin Costner (Actor)
    Willem Dafoe (Actor)
    Jeff Daniels (Actor)
    Roland Emmerich (Film Director)
    Dodi al-Fayed (Princess Diana's last boyfriend)
    Bill Gates (Co-founder, Microsoft)Whoopi Goldberg (Actor)
    Kelsey Grammer (Cheers, Frasier)
    John Grisham (Novelist)
    Eddie Van Halen (Guitarist)
    John Hinckley (Assassin, took a shot at President Reagan)
    Billy Idol (Musician)
    Steve Jobs (Co-founder, Apple Computers)
    Howard Jones (Musician)
    Wayne Knight (Actor, Newman on Seinfeld)
    Olga Korbut (Olympic gymnast)
    Bud Lee (Prodigious porn film director)
    Yo-Yo Ma (Cellist)
    Moses Malone (Basketball)
    Howie Mandel (Comic)
    Pat Mastelotto (Drummer for Mr. Mister and King Crimson)
    Reba McEntire (Queen of Country Music)
    Masaharu Morimoto (Iron Chef)
    Kate Mulgrew (Star Trek: Voyager)Terry Nichols (Timothy McVeigh's partner in crime)
    Greg Norman (Golf's Great White Shark)
    Bill Nye The Science Guy
    Paul O'Grady (Comic, British drag queen)
    Tanya Roberts (Bond Girl, Beastmaster, That 70s Show)
    Eric Schmidt (CEO of Google)
    Maria Shriver (Journalist, married to Arnold Schwarzenegger)
    Gary Sinise (Actor)
    Marina Sirtis (Actor, Deana Troi on Star Trek)
    Jimmy Smits (Actor, L.A. Law)
    Dee Snider (Frontman for Twisted Sister)
    Billy Bob Thornton (Actor, Sling Blade)
    Greta Van Susteren (Fox News journalist, plastic surgery victim)
    Ken Weatherwax (Pugsley on The Addams Family)
    Bruce Willis (Die Hard)
    Debra Winger (An Officer and a Gentleman)
    Steven Wright (Comic, King of Wry)
    Angus Young (Schoolboy-clad guitarist for AC/DC)
    Chow Yun-Fat (Actor, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon)

    MJ: His birthday is Dec. 6. But now I need to reveal a secret about you...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Julia Roberts. who, when she first acted, had a bigger butt. Now, that I could relate to. Now, she looks like my daughter....

    ReplyDelete
  20. These are the first ones I found. They were all born in 1970, but they've all already had their 36th birthdays. Mine is yet to come (I'm a December baby too!)

    Pamela Anderson
    Mariah Carey
    Naomi Campbell

    ReplyDelete
  21. Bruce Willis, Jackey Chan, and your's truly, THE Michael!

    ReplyDelete
  22. ziggi,
    Firth, Grant & Fiorentino sounds like a great name for a vasectomy clinic or a cheese emporium.

    within,
    Hey within is there anyone that you could do without?
    Thank you for copying and pasting the names of every celebrity born from 1855 - 1955...
    I asked for three...th-ree...and you are an editor..sheesh!

    Joyce,
    Why were you staring at Julia's butt and how could she have a smaller butt now?
    "Everybody I know has a big butt!"
    P.W. Herman in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

    anna,
    Hmmm...Two sexpots, Mimi, with the voice of an angel but who acts like a 12 year old girl???
    and Pam who is famous for two reasons....
    and Naomi (who thinks that she is all that and a bag of chips)who seems to be a psychotic uber-bitch who cannot seem to stop herself from beating 'the help'.

    THE michael,
    Plus everyone else on within's list..just once I want to see Bruce have a great day from start to finish in a movie. My favorite Willis line is from The Fifth Element, "Anybody else want to negotiate"...oh yeah and "I am a meat popsicle"

    ReplyDelete
  23. HE:

    I did it precisely because I knew it would get you and in line with previous monster music comment calamities involving you, FE and MJ.

    I left out tons of others, too, so be glad of that...

    I also noted Anna's selection...do you think people are being a little choosy? Note I included my darker side fellow 1955ers...

    ReplyDelete
  24. HE, my choice to associate myself (in fact hardly even) with regular folks has more to do with the fact that I do not know most of thse celebrities except the Beatles (everybody including my teenager knows the Beatles) Madonna, Michael Jackson and Osama Bin Laden. So I should just hitch myself to your choices because that would suffice, except I don't like Madonna and neither the boys you mentioned. :-)

    ...and I would like to know how Audery Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn looked like when they were 48.

    ReplyDelete
  25. without,
    Ha-ha-ha very funny.
    Yes 55 was an exceptional year for assassins who are the ultimate viCARIOUs viruses...forever linked to their victim's legacy..the ultimate in depravity and cowardice.

    Chapman is currently imprisoned at Attica and is separated from other prisoners for his personal safety.
    He receives conjugal visits from his wife and has been married for nearly 30 years. Isn't that nice.

    He claims to be an evangelical Christian..BARF!of course he is..and has refused to undergo therapy claiming to have been healed. GMAFB!

    He receives hate mail from around the world on a daily basis...and I say open the door and let him take his chances...

    ces,
    It is perfectly acceptable to be celebrity challenged..indeed my best friend within suffers from the exact same affliction.
    You should be proud of yourself for not being contaminated by our paparazzi culture...all that it really means is that you can never go on any trivia game shows!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I can't name 3. All the famous people my age (born 1909) are dead. Even Lotta Hitschmanova. May she rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete
  27. mj
    HA! Within said that you look great for your age!
    I still remember those commercials...
    This is Lotta Hitschmanova
    Unitarian Service Committee
    56 Sparks Street
    Ottawa, Ontario

    ReplyDelete
  28. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  29. I was born so late in the year, that everyone my age was born in the NEXT year, so I'm listing stars from 1974. December babies rock, though. :)

    Ashton Kutcher. Ew.
    Christian Bale. Yum.
    Jewel. Boring.
    Alanis Morrisette. Cernadian!
    Eva Mendez. Desperate, and Bitchy, I hear.
    Leonardo DiCaprio. Ugh.
    Robbie Williams. um...musical?
    Alyson Hannigan. I've spent YEARS having people tell me I sound JUST like her.
    Hilary Swank. What's with all the tragic roles? An Oscar bid every movie??
    Jimmy Fallon. Love him!
    Penelope Cruz. She's cute, and escaped..er, dated Tom Cruise.
    Jerry O'Connell. Totally HOT.
    Victoria Beckham. From Spice girl to VERY Lucky Girl.
    Brande Roderick. Baywatch Babe.
    Ryan Phillippe. Pig!
    Charlotte Ross. Some famous actress.
    Seth Green. GREAT on Buffy and in the Austin Powers movies. Also, LOVED him in Josie & the Pussycats. "Backdoor Loverrrrr..."
    Pete Yorn
    Natasha Henstridge. *shrug*
    Joaquin Phoenix. Great actor, getting hotter as he ages. So am I for that matter.
    Kate Moss. *sniff sniff*
    Tiffani Amber Thiessen. Ewwwww!
    Amber Valletta. Famous model.
    Jenna Jameson. Going...Dowwwwwn?
    Elizabeth Berkley.Arrrrgh!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Within Without- You can add to your list my boyfriend Bill, and my stepmom Linda. =)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous12:30 PM

    after a brief search i found a whole list of celebrities i'd never heard of or don't give a shit about, but these two stood out: (the year, btw, is 1979):

    Heath Ledger. *would* I mean, DUDE, i'm the same age as Heath Ledger! That means I could totally do him and it would be ok.

    also, Keshia Knight Pulliam. Are you kidding? I'm the same age as Rudy from the Cosby Show!? I never knew that. I grew up watching that show, and somehow I never ever saw Rudy as a peer. I always thought she was a stoopid little kid. huh.

    ReplyDelete
  32. tidalgrrrl,
    Don't encourage him..he already used up his alloted space.

    chaucer's beeotch,
    Rudy gazooty! Neener!
    Heath Baby, well now, that's a different story.I thought that he was hilarious in Cassanova..did you see it?

    ReplyDelete
  33. I share my birthday with the following:

    Kurt Cobain
    Tim McGraw
    Nicole Kidman
    Pamela Anderson
    Vin Diesel
    Faith Hill
    Liev Schrieber
    Keith Urban
    Julia Roberts
    Gavin Rossdale
    Anna Nicole Smith

    I am not very happy about the list.

    ReplyDelete
  34. gautami,
    You are the polar opposite of Anna Nicole Smith..
    What I mean is that you are smart and a 100% ALLNATURAL beauty!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous4:30 PM

    That explains a lot too. Why I seem to have a thing about blokes teetering on the edge of 50. You were all really really hot at just about the time when I started to get an interest in boys (7) and my tastes haven't developed much beyond that.

    ReplyDelete
  36. cherry-o-,
    That's spooky because guys teetering on the edge of 50 are just starting to lose their sense of taste too..
    or did you mean to say that You started getting interested in tasteless boys when you were 7?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Here's my three:

    Tori Spelling
    Brian Austin Green
    Neve Campbell

    Just about everyone who starred in a 90's-era teen drama on Fox.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Im forever young HE woohoo!

    And I dun even have to wear tight leggings like Madge does to feel/look young...my heart is always young :):)

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  39. ms val,
    Melrose 90210! Well there you have it..those 90s coming of age thingamabobs were off of my radar..my 21 yr old loves watching the reruns because the styles are so tacky and the storylines are so forced and cheesy...you of course may not see them that way..I guess that right about now I should confess to watching Dallas and Charlie's Angels...ouch that hurts.'

    keshey,
    Ha that you are that you are..but Madge is pretty awesome for an old lady dontcha think?
    I mean she will certainly make 50 the new 40..I hope so anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous9:28 AM

    Princess Stephanie of Monaco
    Michael Dell
    Heidi Fleiss

    http://www.nndb.com/lists/964/000105649/

    ReplyDelete
  41. sure she is! She looks late 20ish to me and thats amazing!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  42. laura elizabeth,
    Heidi Ho!
    hahaha.
    Two spoiled little rich girls and a billionaire..what a combo.

    kesh,
    Her image/brand is SEX so she can't let herself go..she has still got plenty of ooomph left..Madonna is not going to turn up as some celebrity judge on American Idol for atleast another decade..or until she decides that she has had enough.

    ReplyDelete
  43. ur right abt that!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  44. keshi,
    Thanks..you have no idea how good it feels to be right about something.

    ReplyDelete
  45. duhh ur always right!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  46. monica seles, tyra banks, jan ullrich... december 1973, same as me!
    hmmm, i am seriously UNsporting myself though...

    ReplyDelete
  47. i am also going to put dibs on aishwarya rai, neve campbell, anastacia, kate beckinsale, heidi klum and juliette lewis!
    was 1973 a fabulous year for hot females or what!?!

    ReplyDelete
  48. angel,
    Kate (MAN HANDS) Beckinsale!
    Tyra (how can a super model have huge knockers)Banks!
    Heidi (UBERSCHWING!) Klum!
    Woohoo Class of 73!

    ReplyDelete
  49. angel,
    DOH!
    I was going to ask you if your avatar GLOWS in the dark?!
    It reminds me of all of the groovy blacklight posters that I had in my room..that was so AWESOME!..back in the day when I was hip n' happenin'...OK way back circa late 60s early 70s..why does that sound so old?!

    ReplyDelete

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