Good News for Modern Stone Age Families!
The Creation Science Evangelism and Dinosaur Adventure Land
(and Cheese Emporium) in Pensacola, Florida, is in danger of becoming extinct.
Mr. Kent Hovind, pictured here being 'persecuted' by a pack of vicious Velociraptors*, was found guilty on Thursday on 58 counts of tax evasion.
*Initial reports indicate that the Raptors were released from a top secret IRS Conspiracy Compound and that they were sent to prevent Mr. Hovind from escaping to a make believe world inside of his head.
As a self proclaimed tax exempt worker for God, Kent appeared totally unimpressed with the jury, which deliberated for what must have been a gut wrenching, soul searching couple of hours, before quickly siding with the IRS claim that he owes Uncle Sam thousands of dollars*.
*not millions or billions because that is impossible ya silly goose! Everybody knows that there is no such thing as millions and billions!
For a real report click here
Mr. Hovind, not to be confused with Mr. Hominid, could spend the next 64.5 million years in prison despite the vehement protest of his lawyer, who claimed that his client was a victim of religious persecution.
The hell you say!
A 64.5 million year sentence is equal to the distance in time that actually separates the Dinosaurs and Homo Sapiens despite the claims and magical thinking of Intelligent Design adherents and School Trustees in Kansas.
Hovind's infamous Dinosaur Adventure Land, and other pale imitations, apparently feature incontrovertible and astonishing proof that Humans and Dinosaurs shared the planet before Noah's Floody Floody.
Did you know that the displays, models, and collection of fossils, or rocks of rememberance as they are lovingly referred to by IDers, have mercifully proved once and for all, that Charles Darwin was completely off of his rocker and that all of our science books are filled with stupid lies!
Damnit anyway, if all of these cutting edge institutions start shutting down...how are they supposed to wean the great unwashed masses from suckling at the teat of Evolution?
Stockwell Day, the Canadian Minister of Public Safety, will surely be disapointed by this turn of events. This Yabadaba Dude has gone on record affirming his belief that this Flintstonian type scenario, people and dinosaurs living together, is the gospel truth.
Lord knows what will happen to the
Intelligent Duhsign movement now?