Monday, October 09, 2006

In an unbridled exhibition of shameless self promotion I am thrilled to announce that I have been nominated for a highly prestigious
2006 Canadian Blog Award.

To my surprise I was not nominated in the Cultural, Science or Religious Blog category. Here I thought that I was some sort of half-assed quasi scientific, *pseudo intellectual, social commentator.
*It is always fun to pronounce pseudo as swaydo.
Apparently my perplexing comic stylings and semi coherent satirical ramblings, zany rants and general tomfoolery do not dovetail into an all encompassing synopsis of the Cultural ascent/descent of homo escapeons. So much for my generic all purpose theory of the meaning of life!

Who knew?

A quick glance in my archives reveals that I am an object for your pity and not your scorn. I see myself as normal while others get the impression that I am sort of a touchy feely, eclectic, smartass and a delusional, wannabe philosopher who is obviously crying out for help.

My postings are all over the road.
Humour 25ish
Culture 27ish
Personal 14ish
Science 17ish
Religion 5ish
Political 10ish
History 20ish
Artsy 8ish
crap 37ish
Geography 3ish
Sports 1
and 'Experimental'
(ie.Last minute filler from blogthings) a few

I confess that I never actually wrote out a mission statement for my Blog and that like most of you I am pretty much just in it for the money. HA! Wait a minute.. it reads a forensic interpretation of modern humans on my banner!
I started posting in February and thought that it would be a good way to force myself to write everyday. HA!
My incredibly rewarding tenure as a 'stay at home Dad' is nearing the end of its term and although I have never publicly stated this I plan to write for a living in the future. HA!

I had not written anything interesting over the past 20 odd years other than Downtown Office Vacancy Reports yawwwn or Offers to Lease/Purchase.
Before that I was a TV Commercial Writer/Producer and I did study Advertsing and Journalism in College but I never got around to actually writing.
On top of that I was a dumbass dinosaur who didn't know how to turn on a computer because I always had a secretarial assistant.

Despite all of those obstacles, last February when a nice man who works with my goodladywife and who is a world reknown blogger, and whose name will remain anonymous, Brian the Mennonite, suggested that I should try blogging.
I thought..Hmmmm,
why not.

I still remember how excited I was to get my first comment on Feb 15th

Brian the Mennonite said...
I'd just like to let you know that I am out here reading your stuff (I was going to call it sh*t, but I didn't want you to be offended, "cause I like it) and will have to reread it several times to grasp all of it. I think I like what I'm reading so far. I've added you to my blogroll and will probably refer to you occasionally when I want to talk about a distant acquaintance of mine who seems to know what he's talking about.
8:46 PM

..and with that blistering barrage of encouragement I knew that I must really have stumbled on to something big... then lo and behold lightning struck again.
One month and 25 postings later I received another comment on March 21st

gautami tripathy said...
In India, the mall culture is relatively new! The shopkeepers shout at the top of their voices to visit them. It sounds like a street market! Minus the open spaces!
1:30 PM

I got a comment from some guy in India!
(Sorry gautami but because of your avatar I didn't know that you were a beautiful intelligent woman)
I was ten feet off of the ground..2 comments..neener neener... nothing could stop me now... then holy crap another comment! So soon, its only March!?

Cherrypie said...
10:21 AM

No Way! I was ready to yell AVALANCHE! when out of the blue my daughter's old boyfriend sent yet another comment April 7th..

Jeff Gagne said...
WOW, i am the newest fan of your blog, get a TV show, and i'll watch you talk all day.. you're wicked, and as for ur blog about Jesus getting beat up by the Olsen twins.. brilliance
2:25 AM

Now I was getting traction, major advertisers will soon be beating a path to my site with these killer demographics!..ah the power of positive thinking!
Despite all odds it happened again, this time I received feedback on my uber important April 10th account of how American Idol Clay Aiken was robbed, ROBBED I TELL YA...

Anonymous said...
Bwahahaha!!! So true, so true!!!
10:23 PM

My highly informative take on slang terms for the penis and related poor choices for naming boys brought even more accolades..

Cherrypie said...
I'm sure your post is the envy of all your friends. No wonder your wife (Alice?) is so proud ;-)
3:51 PM

Well, well, well...less than a month later my new crazy cyber-stalker is back harrasing me and hogging my entire comment section on April 18th..

Cherrypie said...
I was going to ask what a Sasquatch was. Thank you for explaining it so well. x
5:42 PM

You get the picture...

I am so DUH!
One day I finally realise that you get what you give so I started reading other blogs and started commenting and immediately discovered the true joy of blogging which is the interaction...the snappy repartee, the witty banter tossed to and fro and the merciless, relentless teasing that you give and receive from others in the comment section.
I call it the afterparty.
There are so many funny, brilliant, misguided, talented, caring people out here with a bevy of different views, alternative realities and interesting angles on Life.
They become more than just fast friends, they become
highspeed friends.
Now I spend so much time enjoying other blogs that I often forget to post..oh well..I mean whatever!

Congratulations and props to my peeps and fellow nominees..

Andrea @ Colouring Outside The Lines
Within, Without @ Snippets From Spaceship Orion
Joyce @ Chronicles Of Blunderview
Brian the Mennonite @ I Wonder
for your well deserved nominations

Anyway I am thrilled to get noticed and I would like to thank whoever nominated me and I hope that the cheque clears.

Nominations are open until Sunday November 12th and first round voting begins on Nov 15th. Don't forget to vote and vote often.

Do you remember your first words of encouragement in the comment section?


  1. Congratulations... well deserved. Your blog is a fantastic distraction form work, gives me an excuse to go as tey have high speed interet.

  2. Congrats! Well done!

  3. Hey -- you forgot to mention the infamous Brian who is also nominated. But thanks also for the mention. And if I'd known that you Manitobans were all so intimately connected (I had no idea at first) I'd have moved there by now, just to hang out with other gee... er... bloggers.

  4. Congrats!! :) I love reading you!

  5. Shameless self-promotion is right.

    Your unique combination of humour, artistry, trivia, horrid spelling, knowledge of modern culture and ancient religion and, overall, your view of the world and everything in it have taken Blogdom by storm in 2006.

    Wonder if your Blogshares have spiked?

    My favourite, still, I think, is the laundry one and sex.

    Congratulations, Nerd Boy.

  6. aidan,
    Thank You. I will continue to distract you from the real world for as long as possible...reality is highly overrated.

    Thanks, whenever you get around to nominating and voting that's escape peons with an e...I presume that our little arrangement remains in effect and that the negotiated fee for services rendered remains unchanged.

    WHAT! I FORGOT BRIAN! I honestly didn't know...scheissen!
    I will quickly add him before he gets a chance to peruse my post.
    Yes the Toban Connection is quite the little clique!
    Were you going to say Gee..ks or I know GEEPS!
    A Geep (real word) is a cross between a 'Goat' and a 'Sheep'..
    oooh talk about the subliminal metaphor for us..
    very clever andrea...
    I will have to keep a close eye on you.

    You are a doll!
    The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.
    Oscar Wilde

  7. withering heights,
    Some people appreciate that self confidence is NOT megalomania and see it as a positive attribute...
    it means that I don't look at everything as a zero sum gain with one winner and one loser.
    Therefore I can appreciate and not feel threatened by your excellent work.. ya meatball!
    Anyway I think that there was a compliment in there somewhere so I will take the high road for the rest of this reply and
    ..oh forget it...

    Wutz rong wuth mie spilleng arswhole!

    Yes the 'Laundry' post May 13th (hint hint) was fun to research.

  8. Huh? Threat? What? Winner? Loser? HELLO!

    Re-read the second paragraph and take out the teasing reference to spelling.

    That was a compliment.

    What's the hint for?

  9. Homey, you are in it for the money? What money?

    Congratulations, you are awesome!

  10. willy weinerwater,
    I know you are but what am I...

    OK so its Monday morning and you are still a little groggy...
    but don't waste that Mr sensitive touchy feely aw shucks I'm such a nice guy schtick on me...wait a minute..
    Gee willikers you mean that you were serious..
    gee thanks buddy.
    I am going to slowly back away now because all of the 'ladybloggers' don't like it when I pick on you..
    you little weiner.

    hi carm,
    Exactly...what money!
    You are sooo very kind, in fact I should say that you're a schmoopy!
    Now you say No you're a schmoopy and I say No you're a schmoopy...

  11. Yipppe!
    Congrats to you....
    and all the others...
    I will vote!

    Have a great day!


  12. margie,
    What no poem?
    Nothing rhymes with escapeons eh...
    damn those four syllable mouthfuls.

  13. No poem?
    Of-course I have a poem!
    Here it is

    TO HE

    Your blog has lots of spice
    and, yet so very nice!

    Your blog has grace
    and adds a smile to my face!

    Your blog has rhythmical style
    and goes the extra mile!

    Your blog has glitter
    and makes me feel better!

    Your blog is for for today
    your blog is for tomorrow

    Your blog can make people holler
    so, I am here to say...

    Like an New York minute
    for all that's in it....

    You have my vote
    Now, do not gloat!!!!


    P.S. Anyone can vote,right?
    Not just Canadians?

  14. Congratulations, HE! =) I do remember my first words. Besides that, they are stored in blogspot! (who'da thunkit?)

    "wow...and i thought "muzak" was bad!"

    Posted by Tawnykat | 3/29/2005 6:09 PM

    (blog created Nov. 2004 and it took MONTHS to get one comment.) Now I get lots of comments, and by that I mean at least ONE a week! Tee Hee.

    Keep rollin' HE. We lurrrrrve it.

  15. margie,
    I knew that you could do it!
    Thank you so much.. I feel like it's my birthday.
    Hey Margie its snowing like crazy outside how is Coloradee?

    Eeeewwch! Ha its great to look back and laugh now. If you don't do this for yourself you are screwed. Sure its nice to get some feedback but like Costner's field of dreams..if you build it they will come.
    I look at like at it like this, there are only 12million blogs to choose from somebody will eventually stumble on mine...
    there is a lid for every pot!

  16. We had snow on the ground in the
    early morning...but it is a gorgeous day here!
    Sunny...but quite nippy!

    You are most welcome for the poem!
    C'ya later!


  17. K La-Di-FRICKIN-Da6:28 p.m.

    Blog awards?
    I can honestly say that I am at a loss for words...although I suppose congratulations are in order.
    Oh, but please don't ever write, say, or even think the words "props to my peeps" ever again. It's just...too much.

  18. I had asked someone how to fix the time zone thingo because it was on american time and I didn't know how the hell to fix it and someone told me how to - well that was my particularly unromantic first comment - I think . Ground breaking stuff, obviously (?). Will have to go back and check... ;).

  19. Congrats, Bud! Good to see that this award was actually awarded on
    merits. To Hell with categories, it
    keeps you much sharper, just free-rangin' ! Keep on, keepin' on!

  20. Congratts HE! :)

    Ur blog is one of the most interesting and funniest blogs ever. Even kookaburras and roos visit here so there u go! ;-)


  21. k la di frickin da,
    Is that anyway to talk to your father? I apologize for trying to be hip...
    it won't happen again...
    word to yo mutha..
    peace out!

    hi lee,
    Well we all start somewhere and it is usually not groundbreaking stuff...although I made fun of my poor start I deserved it!
    Brian the M is my secret santa and has my undying gratitude because he forced me to try harder.. cherrypie has been so gracious and encouraging especially when I felt like quitting..I can't thank either of them enough.

    People need to feel you out a bit and see what they are getting into before they give you their support.

    Tru dat! Listen I only got nominated in a few categories and I don't expect to edge out hardcore people pleasin' blogs but it certainly was a shot in the arm and it made me realise that I need to take it up a notch.

    If I died tomorrow my cyber thoughts will be floating around for my children to glean and remember me by...which is kind of cool in a morbid sort of way.

  22. ok this was the very first comment that I got in my very first post in Oct 2004:

    *****At 1:46 AM, Virus said...
    am offended!

    lol u see what kind of blogging reputation I have mate.


  23. I'm still here all the time and I STILL like you. Can you believe it?
    It was actually I who nominated you for all of those various headings. I was looking to add you to more but I don't think it would be fair if you won EVERY fricken award. I had to leave some room for my one other blog aquiantance.
    And thanks for all the're a good man Donn. And I'm looking forward to the party. I hope Alice told you Joyce and I are invited. :) I'll have to brush up on my evolution by reading the past 17 years of National Geographic, just so I can keep up with the conversations. I'm not worried though...much.

  24. keshigeist,
    You are my thunda down unda! I am amazed at your high performance level of commenting and maintaining a great vibe on your site.
    You are a real inspiration to me. I see you absolutely everywhere, and I mean eveywhere, and you are consistent and gracious and entertaining on every occasion.
    Thanks for raising the bar!

  25. Congrats. Well deserved.

    I think your daughter's old boyfriend was trying to kiss ass with his comment on your blog. Keep an eye on him. Lets make sure he doesn't try and weasle back in.

    If you don't win, and you decide to take the blog in a different direction, I have a suggestion: Dating advise blog.

  26. keshi,
    HA! You offended some guy named Virus! kewl.

    Brian the Mensch,
    What can I say but thanks (you couldn't find one for best post?!)
    I am thrilled that I have earned your whatever it is. I promise not to mention one word about evolution or discuss historical/religious/philosophical matters or humnan reproductive organs.
    No You're DRUNK!

  27. Lovely post. You've been a good E-friend to me. Congratulations x

  28. Yes, I fondly remember my first went something like this......

    "I like your blog. Very Interesting. I know where you can get great deals on VIAGRA! Just click this link.....

  29. Hye Congratulation! this must be long overdue...u are great and u have a great blog. U deserve every bit of it! will come back to read the post.

  30. ambidextrousblogger,
    HA! OK get ready for Dear Homo or Donn's Dating Blog. I am not sure that I could live through all of the terror and excitement of the dating world. I am so lucky to have found my goodladywife but I doubt that my heart would survive another round. I am doing whatever it takes to keep her crazy about me.

    Thanks man, you are a very interesting bloke and I enjoy visiting Westbourne and getting a fresh perspective on the sitch.
    See you later.

    THE michael,
    LOL awesome..thanks for the heads up...eeww..those damn autobloggers.
    I really liked your big blog the other that was really perspicuous.

    Hey are things settling down? You always have so much on the go. Thanks for all of the intelligent comments that you deliver..always well intentioned, considerate and clever...a strong ally in my corner.

  31. reyspoutine12:40 a.m.

    so are these, like, real awards, or are you and brian just making shit up?
    oooh, a party! that sounds like fun......
    ditto to what kayla said....peeps just makes me roll my eyes in any context. it's sort of like george bush blurting out 'and i also read three shakespeares' while discussing french philosophers. i sent him a hat a few weeks ago that says 'i am trying too hard' along with a shirt that says 'and it's hard work!' but i haven't seen him wearing them at press conferences or while walking the dog. i'm a little put out.
    oops, did i say congratulations yet?

    good for you though. i pass on links to your site regularly.....and thanks for giving me a chance to blog in your comment section. you'll notice the pope hasn't said anything stupid since laid his sorry ass out to dry a couple of weeks ago.

  32. **keshigeist

    OK I feel unique now LOL tnxx mate!

    Now offending virus is true victory isnt it :)


  33. reyspooterooski,
    As far as I know this is legit..I would be nominated in every category if I was making this up..DUH!
    Thanks for getting the Vatican back in line. Keep that pope on a rope for a while until things settle down. A GERMAN pope still sounds like an oxymoronic entity to me.

    You are one of a kind. For the betterment of blogkind you must keep fighting viruses and their ilk.

    hey thanks...can I plug your bitterweet post now....please come back and visit whenever you get the chance.

  34. Shameless, sensational, superfreak Homo Escapeons.

    There's nobody like ya, baby.

    Except maybe Within Without. :)

  35. No, you're a schmoopy! But I like you anyway.

  36. You're nominated for Blogger of the Year. I'm sure the wife is telling everyone at work all about you.

    I can't imagine her not being proud.

  37. carmie,
    No you're a schmoopy!..infinity!

    Not so much..(whispering)
    *she thinks that I spend a little too much time doing this...

  38. You deserve it. Yours is one of the best blogs that I have come across. Very informative and underlying irony.

    Though I should bemiffed with you for you thinking of me as a guy. (GAUTAMI is very much a feminine name!!!)

    Here is a wild cry cheering you..


  39. Wow! How can I choose between you, Brian, the divine Joyce, art-queen Andreq and that chap with the clean cooker? You are all fabulous.

    Blogging seems to be much bigger over there than it is here. It must be the cold winters x

  40. you'll split the cheque? i go vote now.
    kiddingggg! congrats, blog buddy!

  41. gautami,
    Why thank you m'lady. I am sooo sorry but I had no had that little mohatma guy as your avatar..hey isn't that ironic? Anyway now that your lovely image adorns my comment section everything is crystal clear.
    I promise to strive for ironic instead of moronic.

    Gosh that is a dilly of a pickle. You will just have to vote for me I guess...
    because you had me from hello..
    you, complete me...

    How was that? Is that too over the top..hmm..I don't know it felt real..I thought that I really owned it and made it mine.
    Just nominate me in another category? Can't you find one post that you really liked? I don't know where the hell my PR team is..they should have been out there doing allof this for me..
    why am I even paying those pudknockers?

    misti hello!,
    Finally someone who knows how to play ball! Ok you let me know when to vote for you and we can make this thing happen.
    Oh maybe some reverse psychology...ah you don't want to vote for me..I really don't care if I win..I just do this for fun...

    NO WAIT please vote for me...I am asking for the order..and splitting the far that cheque is divided by 152%..
    is that bad?


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