Thursday, September 14, 2006

Gratitude to the Latitude DUDE!

I do not prefer being pigeonholed as a white guy.

Truth be told I am more of a neutral beige during the winter months and turn into a yummy shade of chocolaty taupe in the summer. To me the term white guy is now a perjorative term that conjures up negative images of Klansmen, Nazis, Vikings, Conquistadors, Stock Brokers and other purveyors of intolerance, mayhem and subjugation.

You see I believe that the phrase 'white guy' is racist because it has been hijacked by politically correct nutjobs. Ironic?

It is now generally accepted that throughout the last two thousand years of history all 'non-white' people around the globe were threatened, enslaved or atleast annoyed by white guys. Unfortunately that is a fairly accurate image.

The now standard White Euro Male Guilt trip was no doubt developed by bra burning Hippy Profs at Berkeley in the late 60s. It just so happens to remain as the current politically correct description of white guys which if nothing else proves that guilt is the gift that keeps on giving!

The opposite of white guys are always presented as the peaceful gentle souls who have a kinder, deeper, gentler skin tone like Ghandi, Buddha, Martin Luther King and of course Pikachu.

I always get a kick out of the British/American portraits of Jesus as a thin, frail, white guy with orange hair and beard. He looks like such a wimp that even the Olsen twins could have stolen his lunch money!

Finally some people are accepting the idea that Yeshua (Jesus) was a Middle Eastern Jew living in a semi-arrid land and he probably didn't actually look exactly like King James.

Anyway anything that labels us and divides us into separate groups doesn't make life any easier for homo escapeons. Six Million Years Ago when we separated from our closest relative, the Chimpanzee, we probably all had light coloured skin and dark hair like the Chimps.

Skin tones on humans around the world display the adaptations to the various levels of Ultra Violet wavelengths from the Sun at different latitudes.

We all started out invading the rest of the world from Africa. Mitochondrial Eve, our universal Mother to whom every human being alive today can trace their DNA, probably had a delicious dark brown coating.

As Humans scattered about the globe their skin reflectance gradually shifted to combat Melanoma from UV rays and still produce vitamin D at the varying latitudes. That's all.

Marlon Brando answered his US ARMY questionaire by writing under the question of
RACE: Human, and under
COLOUR: it varies.
Naturally he was red flagged.

I appreciate that we may look different but we, the collective we, need to be happy with our genetic makeup because Mother Nature made us that way for latitudinal reasons. So Dudes and Dudettes, we have to change some attitudes and show some gratitude to the latitude.

Unfortunately homo escapeons have used the protective camouflage of our body's largest organ (skin) as a weapon of segregation for millenia. That is insanely tedious. Like any coroner performing an autopsy we need to appreciate that we are identical on the inside. How you deal with the outside is entirely up to you.


  1. Excellent post, HE, and awesome picture of the Klansman with the non-white emergency staff! I love the irony there!

  2. HE,
    Your post as always is a pleasure to read. I might add that assholes come in all colors and "races," as do really nice people.

    Flan-colored Carmen

  3. Informative *and* entertaining, White Guy.

  4. HE's the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B(logger).

    Sound logic, warped White Guy mind, fun read, can't miss the point.

    Another White Guy

  5. Cherrypie,
    It is deja vu all over again and you are still number one!
    A fond reminder of when you and Brian were my only visitors during the first trimester of my cyberscribbling.
    "You gave me hope,
    to car-ry on-n,
    'cause you,
    you light up my life!"

    Isn't that an amazing image? I only hope that it became a life changing event for that big idiot.. er.. I mean BIGOT, when he regained consciousness.

    Point well taken Carm, assholes certainly come in all shades and sizes. Ignorance is colour it OK to say that?

    Well I tried to make it more 'hip' but I just can't get that Tarantino groove without sounding like a muthaf*#@%n skinhead.

    withinamarinky dinky dink,
    Bugle Boy? Were ya Irishin' up yer coffee today?
    btw, did you see my reply to your sensational world problem solving comment? You will run as a Grit..right? You may have to consider approaching the Rhino Party.

  6. I unfortunately will always be white, if i try and tan i go pink and peel.

    The opposite of white guys with the exception of shows such as cops, where everyone who is being hunted down, has a bit of brown in there.

    We almost seem to hold people such as Luther as an exception to the rule.

    skin colour is determined by only a hand full of genes all the rest is equivalent, amazing we put so much stock in it.

  7. No, wasn't Irishin' up my coffee, it was Tequila I think.

    I think I'd be too far left for the Grits right now, and I think the Rhinos want candidates with more sex appeal or comedic talent.

    Might have to run for the NDP or start my own about the withinamarinky dinky dinks? (WDDP)?

  8. "it varies" - that was such a brilliant thing for him to say. Provided some amusement for the day :).

  9. aidan,
    Almost all of our stereotyping is cultural crap anyway...why some people persist on keeping them alive is beyond me but it keeps Comedians in business.

    I had to watch the new Survivor tonight to see how the tribes performed when split up by ethnicity. It is either a brilliant attack on political correctness or an appeal to the lowest common denominator...

    my first impression is that the younger people all sort of disregard the old stereotypes and the older contestants are semi engaged in keeping them alive...a strong indication that the future will be more colour blind.

    We'll see.

    withering heights,
    Please do not mention the NDP over here I may break out in a rash...that's just 'crazytalk'.
    Which means that you will have to create your own party and make your own fun..just like you do in real life.

    Brando did have his moments..I never did understand Last Tango in Paris and after seeing it I have never been able to say pass the butter without invoking my best Brandoesque mumble.

  10. Remember that Star Trek episode about the two guys locked in eternal hatred because one was white on the LEFT side and the other on the RIGHT? If we had remained one color throughout our evolution, we probably would have hated each other for our hair styles, eye color, or choice of sexual position. One way or another, people will congregate due to some simularity, and regard anyone with a difference as a threat, which gives them an excuse to crown a great defender and sharpen sticks, all to deflect their own self-made problems. It's much easier to blame someone else for your shortcomings than it is to take responsibility for you own laziness.

    However, we really have to do something about those damn Canadians.

  11. This is a timely post as we spent all class today discussing the new Survivor where they're divided into teams by race.

    We all pretty much agreed that it was a dumb move.

    It's time to move past this race as a segregation tool BS. This isn't the 50s.

    Unfortunately, it'll continue for years, and we'll probably be having this conversation again decades from now.

  12. we r identical on the inside indeeds...lovely post HE!

    **Anyway anything that labels us and divides us into separate groups doesn't make life any easier for homo escapeons

    thats so true. This post is so similar to my very recent 'The Original You' post...have a look when u have time.

    Having said that, HE I think ur pretty fly for a 'white' guy ;-)


  13. the michael,
    Bang On. Look at how it breaks down into tribes and clans in goups of primitives that are virtually indistinguishable from each other. Hyoomuns will always find an excuse to find something wrong with others ..we seem like robots protecting our genes and destroying the competition. Surely we can rise above the beast...atleast up here in the Great White North.

    I think that this Survivor is going to quickly change from the so called race race and the contestants are going to be remembered as either charming or tedious.

    I am putting all of my money on the diversified collection of Americans of Asian descent.
    Individually and collectively their ethnicity was next to nonexistent and they were the most rational, polite, cooperative and physically fit PEOPLE on the show.

    Hey don't forget that a large nekked gay guy won the first Survivor show and really who cared about his sexual the end he was just a big clever arshole who fooled all of the others...hmmm.

  14. keshiroo,
    That's what all the girls say AH AHAH AHAH! Great Song.

    Now that I think about it, and you may find this hard to believe, but throughout my grade school years there were only three other kids who weren't beige! Sounds ridiculously monochromatic doesn't it?

    It also proves that I have no first hand knowledge about the challenges of discrimination..this post may have turned out completely different if I had?

  15. I'll always remember the large nekked gay guy going to prison for tax evasion. Heh. I never liked that big jerk.

  16. People come in many colors
    dark and light
    those colors you do not see
    in the darkness
    of the night.

    What we need to see
    is the soul of our fellow man
    when we can do that
    maybe it will be
    a more peaceful and gentle land!


  17. **who weren't beige!

    hehe really? :)

    well na even tho Im brown, I've never really faced racism here in Aus. Atleast not so far.

    I dun think this post wud change even if u were not white. black or white the color of the soul remains.


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