Monday, August 14, 2006

Solipsism
is the view that only the self can be known.
L.solus (alone) & ipse(self)

That is of little comfort when homo escapeons like us are stuck here on Earth with 6 Billion other selves (selfish elves).

Since we need to pretend that we understand others in order to: stay sane, make a few friends, and avoid conflicts with idiots, we have invented simple methods to pigeonhole people.

The Socratic axiom that the goal of Life is to 'KNOW' thyself (mental masturbation) is a disturbing and time consuming affair that really interferes with our leisure time.
My Camusian obssession to pursue the absurd desire for clarity and meaning in a world that offers neither negates my inner child's desire to just sit and be entertained. What a drag.

In order to streamline things and free up a little more time to blog, we can compartmentalise people according to the time honored 'funny' theory of HUMORALISM aka the FOUR HUMOURS that was developed by Hippocrates and Aristotle, and later refined by Galen, Paracelsus and others.

The basis of this theory is that the body is composed of 4 main fluids or humours each of which directly affects personality: Blood/Phlegm/Yellow bile and Black bile.
Therefore logic would dictate that there are only 4 basic kinds of people:

Sanguine
(too much Blood) the Artisan; too happy, courageous, hopeful and amorous. They are also innovative, artistic, exploitive hedonists!
Hence the phrase why are you so bloody happy?

Phlegmatic
(Phlegm) the Guardian; too passive, calm and unemotional.
They are also traditional industrious wealth obssessed hoarders!
Not to be confused with being Flemish (of which I am 1/4.)

Choleric
(too much Yellow Bile) the Idealist; too angry, and bad tempered. They are also religious, hyperesthetical dogmaholic moralists!
Aha, the joyless puritanical (choleric) cleric!

Melancholic (too much Black Bile) the Rationalist; too gloomy, despondent, and sleepless. They are also skeptical, anesthetical, curious theorists! How pedestrian, ordinary and banal. Puh-leeze!


VERY SCIENTIFICKLE I MUST SAY!
but way, way,way too much information to digest.
Remember the Myer's cognitive function(1958) types that made a big comeback in the 80s. C'mon these humours were repackaged into 16 Personality types (ISFJ or ENTP etc) that were combinations of your natural predisposition towards....

INTROVERTED or EXTROVERTED
Your natural energy orientation is Introverted or Extroverted
(I or E)
Do you take your cues from people and activities or or live in your imaginary world?

SENSORY or INTUIITIVE
Your method of understanding is naturally Sensory or Intuitive
(S or N)
Do you live in the present based on specifics or speculate on what ifs?

THINKING or FEELING
You make choices or form judgements by Thinking or Feeling
(T or F)
Do you deal with Facts or react according to your unpredictable hormonal and pharmaceutical mood swings?

JUDGING or PERCEIVING
Your reaction to the outside world is Judging or Perceiving
(J or P)
Do you enjoy being a Neurotic Obssessive Overachiever or prefer the Whatever/Sh*t Happens laissez faire route?

As you can see this is all getting far too complicated and however unscientific and interesting it may be we just don't have enough time to categorise everybody with all of this fancy schmancy malarky.
(Too many notes!... my favorite line in the film Amadeus)



Thank you Oscar Wilde for compressing it all into 2 categories.
People are either

Charming
or
Tedious.

Isn't that easier?

31 comments:

  1. hmm... unless i've misinterpreted
    the results of the preceding test,
    my correct category is "sht-for-brns", which only confirms what i would have suspected, if i had two grey cells to rub together. ah well, it's all grist to the mill. now would someone explain why putting ones head to the grindstone
    is a good idea?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am just a bundle of personality disorders.

    But hey, that's my charm.

    ReplyDelete
  3. grumblyone,
    LOL!,
    You sell yourself short my friend. I would rate you a self actualised 4.9 out of 5 on Maslow's chart.
    Sorry but nobody is a perfect 5, not even Paris Hilton.

    awaiting,
    That is a fantastic way of looking in the mirror! I am too.
    It is very convenient to have multiple behavior patterns to wear..one for each occasion...or all at once if it is a special event like your cousins 5th wedding!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really like that. Wonderful post. I know my therapist would approve because I always come to him with 'Ah, so that's how it works' and he counters something along the lines of, I don't know, 'Labels are useful if you like your people in boxes', that sort of thing!

    But it does fascinate me, psychology being quite young an' all, and these categorical systems rarely match the labels that I, and I imagine others, put on people: labels like gender, ethnicity, class. And then I guess I go for... well, loud/quiet, socially comfortable or uncomfortable. I see a lot of that.

    You might be tut-tutting now, HE, at this exposition. You leave it in the right place, for people to think for themselves. Wonderful x

    ReplyDelete
  5. benjamin,
    Of the therapists that tended to me during stressful times one was a genuine caring soul and the other was a complete asshole who actually still teaches at a University. Oh yeah there was a marriage therapist who charged me $500 and told me to get divorced after listening for 2 minutes?!

    I suppose that behind every rumor is a little bit of truth. I forgot to mention Phrenology whereby personality types are observable and distinguished by the shape of one's head. It isn't as popular as it once was...but maybe it will make a comeback.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Re: Oscar Wilde. There are lots of Wilde quotation pages on-line as you probably know, but there's nothing better than this:
    http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/poetry/mp-wilde.htm

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wonder if it's possible to be both choleric and melancholic at the same time.

    I'm disappointed there is no category for euphoric.

    In the second test, I would guess I am ISFP.

    In the third category, I am clearly tedious. But who died and made you and Oscar God?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Charming or Tedious. I like it. Very much an improvement over the personality tests they had all of us managers take at my last job. I did it of course, but all the time I was thinking that they needed a category for "about to go postal because I hate my job!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Interesting post as usual.

    I guess Im BLOODY(sanguine) then lol!


    **Choleric

    Do most Choleric ppl live in the ME?

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You would think a PSYC 104 and SOCI 100 class would help me understand this post, but no.

    I'm just going to leave it at that, and check back later when you've come up with another snappy name for me in your response to my post.

    There's really nothing to respond to, so I'm cool with just the snappy name.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I always saw know thy self as something else. Know thy self to me has always been to become objective, the moment it is understood, you look at it without subjective tendencies. Know Thy self= understand and become objective.

    people and personalities:

    Franz Joseph Gall. was a scientist who beleived one could the traits of an individual due to the sizes of parts and bumps of the skull, I have offered to increase certain traits in fiends by adding bumps and removing parts but this venture has been less than successful.

    On camus quote:
    Terry Pratchett once said Inside every older person is a younger person -wondering what the hell happened.

    he then went onto say
    In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.

    So i guess you can take that with a grain of salt.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Could one be tediously charming? Or charmingly tedious?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm going to have to study this tediously charming post for awhile and get back to you. So far I seem to be witnessing the effects of gamma rays on man-in-the-moon marigolds. However, for years now I have neglected to question whether or not I even know what a man-in-the-moon marigold looks like, so I will have to address that aspect of this observation before I can proceed to the explanation as to why I would think one leads me to the other, which wouldn't even be an issue if I hadn't had the misforturne of running across this post and having another question or concept muck up my otherwise well-oiled mental processes, which are at this very moment informing me that this comment is getting rather tedious.............

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes! Yes! One *can* be charmingly tedious...I know a man, a very adorable man...who can drone on about super high-falutin' compooter-type stuff that I can zone out on in seconds flat...but it's part of his personality that I find extremely charming because it makes up his personality.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Gentle and kind greetings to you, my bloggadosciously good and twisted friend. (And hopes you won’t mind my not so shy requests.)

    I make presence known to you here, and now, with a humble plea for your help …

    Please look here and see that I have called you out.

    ‘Tis for the favour of your talent and skill I call on to help make a wish -- wish #25 -- come true.

    (And if there be others, you wish to make so … to be sure, I shan’t say “No.”)

    With blessings and thanks, ever yours
    ~Lady

    ReplyDelete
  16. In my studies of Buddhist Psychology, I've found the same humoral types. Interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mental maturbation!?! LLOOO-OVE IT!

    You remind me of one of the great contemporary writers (and thinkers)who, it just so happens, was oft' thought to be possessed of too much yellow and black bile ...

    William S. Burroughs was asked by Allen Ginsberg and Lucien Carr to settle what they thought was an 'intellectual arguement' -- does art need an audience in order to be art? Burroughs, in his luvely snotty nose thumbing style answered "That's the stupidest question I ever heard. It depends on how you want to define the word 'art'. Words don't have a built in definition.'

    Go on luv. Continue to give us definitions. Without it, we won't know what we are. Or how to maturbate!

    ReplyDelete
  18. andrea,
    YES, I wish that I had said that.. Monty Python..that was Shaw..brilliant.

    within,
    You certainly are tedious but atleast you have finally stopped changing your profile pic every frickin day..thank you.
    Dubya has an MBA from Harvard..

    tidal Grrrl,
    What is up with that..I just saw a disaster show on a FED-X guy who decided to get his estranged wife some insurance money by committing suicide and homicide..going postal..he attacked the crew with a hammer to try to bring down the plane..they managed to land but I would have killed that f*cker long before the cops got into the plane...we need a built in monitor that beeps when people are about to LOSE it....

    keshi,
    Is that why you are always so bloody happy? Yes there are a lot of CLERICS in the Middle East who would be happy to see everybody else on the planet DIE!

    onacabooseblogger,
    I don't think that you missed anything all I did was summise that despite all of the labelling..that when all is said and done, people are either charmning or serious.

    aidan,
    LOL well said and I couldn't agree more..what happened is right. I am all for adding bumps to the noggins of deranged idiots. I love the explosion theory too.
    Phrenology rules! I am sure that there will be phrenology charts at airport security checkpoints any day now.

    mj,
    You can be tediously charming which is sooo charming that you are actually tedious however you are just charming enough to stay charming so I guess that you are still either charming or tedious...NO you can only be charming or tedious.

    the michael,
    You are still charming and your well oiled mental thingamabob will certainly deal with this triviality before you can say manonthemoonmarigolds.

    tidal grrrl,
    OK I think that is close to being tedious if being charming about something tedious is the only thing that makes you charming?!

    ladywordsmith,
    I shall research your request #25 and as long as it does not involve the transportation of Mesopotamian historical artifacts (I got them on Ebay..HONEST!) over State Lines then I think that we will be OK.

    don,
    See. There is nothing new under the sun..Solomon was right!

    lady,
    You are very kind (that was a compliment wasn't it?)
    I am certainly FULL OF SOMETHING but whether the substance in question is yellow or black is open to debate.

    ReplyDelete
  19. H.E. - I don't know about these in-flight monitors. There was a flight marshall who was fired for being asleep. Who polices the police?

    Being charmingly tedious is of course only one facet of this gentleman's personality...he's also quite attractive and has very cute knees.
    (very important)

    /grin

    ReplyDelete
  20. tidalgrrrl,
    Well if he has got cute knees..why didn't you say so..of course he is charming!

    I don't know what the answer is to Air Marshalling ..we don't have anything like it..just snooty Air Hostesses (except on WestJet!)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Most indubitability it was a compliment!

    ReplyDelete
  22. - I wish I'd said that, Wilde.

    - You will, you will.

    Strange - I wrote this before skimming your list of posts, so I guess it was a self-fulfilling joke.

    and Awaiting, you're just pleasantly maladjusted, that's all.

    czifsu - incredibly sharp Czech cooking knifes sold only through late-night television commercials.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I almost forgot HE - would there happen to be a Willy Coppens in your family tree in the last century or so?

    jkrkkwd - What you get when you cross J.K. Rowling, Kierkegaard and spray-on synthetic industrial lubricant

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yeah, that makes more sense now. And I like the "onacabooseblogger".

    Here's to hoping you can keep it up ;)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Im bloody happy all the time cos Im not a bloody Choleric cleric lol!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ok, this is too confusing...ill jsut say Im charming...::P

    ReplyDelete
  27. lady wordsmith,
    danke.

    frontier editor,
    I have had 'my Willy' ready for some time now. My grandfather told me stories about him when I was a lad. Now that I have a guarandamnteed audience of one
    (a veritable onslaught of anticipation in my blogosphere)
    I will throw caution to the wind and release it...
    plus I promised all of my relatives from Belgian and parts unknown that I would make them famous.

    treehouseblogger,
    I am glad that it makes sense ..now you can explain it to me.

    keshi,
    You should be happy..the world is your oyster.
    OK..I admit that I have never fully understood that phrase...I guess if you clam up and secrete a pearl (keshi pearl of course) then no one will mussel in on your happiness???

    ghostparticular,
    You certainly are charming because you have a vision for the future which I need to grasp.

    ReplyDelete
  28. yes I know that it is BELGIUM!
    I was going to say 'of Belgian descent' but my brain decided to do something else.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Then allow me to give the opening commentary . . .

    HE's ancestor was a hairy-chested, he-man WW I fighter pilot who had the guts to pancake his Hanriot fighter on top of a German observation ballon, roll off and air-start his engine before escaping a whole lot of German ack-ack.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Kind of complicated. Me niether charming nor tedious...Alas!

    ReplyDelete
  31. **I guess if you clam up and secrete a pearl (keshi pearl of course) then no one will mussel in on your happiness

    awwww NICELY PUT mate! Huggggggggggz!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete

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