Tuesday, August 22, 2006

COUNTRY MUSIC SUCKS THE HIND ONE!

Is there anything in the free world that is more
disingeuous than Country Music.
No really!

These performers want to look as hip as rock stars but need to rely on an incredulous charade that dictates their ridiculous portrayal of good ol boys and hillbilly hotties
full of gawd n' country
family values and Yee Haw lots of BEER!

The 'aw shucks
I gots me sum troubles
jus like you fellers'
schtick that these yahoos expect us to swallow just kills me.
That crapola is easily as contrived as the groupie bangin' 80s hair metal gang.
(oops maybe that was true I had better call Tommy Lee..he's still milkin' it)

Guess what?
Millionaire Marlboro Men
ridin' dirt bikes at sunset n' knockin' down rows of corn in pickups loaded with stacked nymphomaniacs wearin' Daisy Mae cutoffs in them thar videos ain't exactly how Ma and Pa Kettle is livin' back in Arkeesaw. Puhleeze!

I don't exactly know why I loathe it so. I think that it is because they don't own their hypocrisy. Those country music award shows present everyone as a goddamn red blooded merkin' who loves jezus and they'd take a bullet fer the prezdent too!
I hate it when they sniff up to the religious right and pretend that they only play country music in heaven.

Hello! As far as I can tell once you get past the Pearly Gates
everyone up there speaks German anyway DUH!
The only music you'll hear is Wagner, Strauss, Schubert, Mozart and Beethoven. Oh yeah and maybe a few hymns..but not the depressing ones and never more than two verses.

Anyway..
I think that the big problem is that now ALL musicians have to be actors and own fashion lines.
You can no longer make it just being a singer songwriter..
now you have to be a BRAND.
I suppose that Country Music is just as guilty as the rest of them.

Please do not get me started on those
bling-loaded gangsta rappers
who brag about their pastlife of sellin' crack on da 'shtree and now they're countin' Benjamins and nailin' ho's...
then they get onstage and start thanking jezus. bleh!

So OK...I have vented a bit and realised that I detest all of the phoneys. Look at those dinosaur Rock Stars who dangle the 'look-at-me-I-have-ingested-every-drug-known-to-man-for-3-decades-and-I-am-so-cool' (yes Ozzie) but at concerts they stand there and yell
HEY KIDS..SCORE GOALS..NOT DRUGS!


Let's face it, Video killed the Radio Star and now the
CORPORATION has killed the entire music industry!
It is a complete mess...but I think that Country Music still pretends to have some 'cred and the others are winking at us and owning their bullsh*t.

Which genre of music do you think is the
worst offender?

29 comments:

  1. **Those country music award shows present everyone as a goddamn red blooded merkin' who loves jezus and they'd take a bullet fer the prezdent too

    LOL!


    **Let's face it, Video killed the Radio Star and now the CORPORATION has killed the entire music industry!

    ROFL!



    I do like some country singers and their music...such as Kenny Rogers, Shania Twain and Leanne Rimes.


    **Which genre of music do you think is the worst offender?

    I dunno..cos I like all genres of music as long as it's not too loud and it makes sense :)

    Though my least preffered genre is classical music.


    Keshi.

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  2. keshi,
    If you don't dig classical then you are going to be sooo bored in heaven...
    better bring your ipod!

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  3. lollllz yep I was thinking that too. I always tell my mum to put my whole CD collection in my coffin if I die b4 her :):)

    Gods might get bored with me rocking to Guns N Roses. Well who knows, I'd be able to score a couple of male angels ;-)


    Keshi.

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  4. HE: Yes, country music for the most part has become a true river of processed sewage, but there are a few points of light Johnny Cash still reminds one of what it could be - a wonderful mix of everything in a plain black wrapper. Didn't hurt that he came out of rockabilly either.

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  5. Country surely isn't what it used to be. Look at Hank Williams and Patsy Cline and then compare their hits to the ones today from Toby Keith and Shania Twain. Not the same by far. Country now is more pop than Country.

    Rap...I find it amusing. Humorous is how I find music I like. But then again, I listen to it all. All day yesterday I had Fogue in C Minor blasting. Neighbors thought I'd lost my mind.

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  6. Awaiting- we're gonna have to compare CD collections one day >B^D>

    I'm probably going to hell one day anyway, so I'm rather partial to 'Night on Bald Mountain' and 'In the Hall of the Mountain King'

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  7. z"And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free......"

    Yea, right.

    Last I heard, the Dixie Chicks were Americans, and freedom to call Bush an idiot was called "free speech".

    I think it goes like this......you can show cleavage in country music videos as long as there's a crucifix hanging between her boobs......yea......I get it.

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  8. i don't understand why all the slack is being put on country music/stars when there are just as many, if not more, hypocritical beings out there in other geners, not to mention actors, etc. It's all about the target audience and how to sell the most records, movies, etc. That's it.

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  9. It's all because of those kids stealin' music by trading MP3's! The industry lost so much money that they've had to up their focus on marketing and sales .. to heck with actual musical talent or songwriters that tell actual stories.. :P :)

    I do agree that country songs are different today than they used to be.. but interestingly enough, you don't see that many people crying to go back to simple bluegrass bands and such... The more they jazz these records up with pop-style songs, the more people everyplace (across genre's) buy em all up. Shania's a perfect example.. her older stuff's country.. newer stuff, not so much.. But, the formula works; country folks still buy her stuff, and the pop kids eat it up just the same (while likely claiming that they're open-minded enough to listen to country, too [even if it's really not] )

    But, it's not all bad.. :) If you dig past the honky-tonk bedonk-a-donk's out there, there's still some talented folks singin good stuff :)

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  10. HE, I agree that there are a lot of hippocrites in Country music, and yes, they make me sick... But puleeeeze, is anything more commercial or more designed to sell cologne, jeans, handbags and jewelry than Paris Hilton actually coming out with an album? Am I the only person in the darn WORLD that doesn't think that she is the most artificial, whiny, spoiled, BORING, white girl alive? Why did they let her sing other than to be able to better market her present and future merchandise? ack.

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  11. i do not understand today's music and i am in the line.

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  12. frontier editor,
    I grew up listening to Cash and I love his fantastic rendition of HURT.
    Here again the video for that song encapsulated his entire career and seemed to eerily send him off.

    awaiting,
    You are right the line between country and pop is pretty much gone. I think that America is still back on it's heels and Country is being promoted as THE music of the USA. Cowboy Diplomacy.

    fronty,
    If it wasn't for Bugs Bunny I wouldn't have ever been exposed to the classics.

    the michael,
    The chicks were here for 2 sold out concerts. Apparently sales in the HEARTLAND are mediocre. I am proud of them for exposing the hypocrites.

    angela,
    cue Europe
    'It's the final countdown!'

    Well there aren't enough young kids out there any more..
    the baby boomers are done buying music. How many Time Life collections can you have?

    They will go see dinosaurs perform final tours for a few more years until their hearing gives out and then fizzzzzzzzz poof!

    Hi Iv7,
    Yes indeed the music biz ad wizards shot themselves in the head long ago and they are on life support.
    This crossover stuff is here to stay and it is quite harmless in small doses. Getting Mutt Lang to soften Def Leppard riffs into his wife's country/pop schtick was sheer genius..but NEXT!

    You are right, there will always be a Steve Earle out there somewhere.

    mistipurple,
    I am afraid that there isn't much to understand about modern music anymore.

    You ARE in the line
    or you are IN the line?

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  13. grumblist1:11 a.m.

    Mumblin' music, eh? I agree, the vast majority of what passes for tuneage follows the same,
    "turn the tap, out pours the crap" distribution model. Every now and then though, the stars fall into alignment:

    1) 11PM on the first clear, low humidity night after a few weeks in hell. A crew of young greasers
    pulls alongside, waiting in one of
    those retro Faux Mustangs, but impatient for the light to change. Click! As if by heavenly
    fiat, Beethoven's 9th burbles feebly from the Beetermobile's raggedy speakers. The cross light's yellow, and I'm overcome by the urge turn the tables and
    blast the pups with some ole Ludwig Van. Infantile? Maybe, but
    you've got to seize the moment. And nobody rats out somebody for
    blasting Baroque...
    2) The weather rolled in like the wrath of God, on top of a miserably humid outdoor concert.
    Just coordinating with my old buddies in the maelstrom took some
    real choreography, but it was worth the effort - the rain came, with a vengeance, but your guys
    were worth it- nearly 4 hours of
    amazing complex tunes, played effortlessly by Rush.

    I'll second the sentiments on Steve Earle, and toss in Emmy Lou,
    for good measure.

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  14. I despise both hip-hop and country.

    Probably hip-hop more, but that's because I hear/see it on a regular basis, whereas I can go days without hearing/seeing country.

    Country says, hey, I'm just like you, listen to my music.

    Hip-hop says hey, you want to be like me. Listen to my music.

    But both groups do what they need to in order to make the $$$.

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  15. I simply detest hip-hop.

    But I am kind of crazy about Rock music...

    If I appear kind of subdued here, that means I have not listened to rock music today!

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  16. I forgot to mention, I can't stand the current Hindi Music!

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  17. Somewhere, Toby Keith just read this and smashed his keyboard.

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  18. Did you know if you play a country and western song backwards your truck gets repaired and your dog comes back.....

    My MP3 player ranges from the gummi bears theme, to marylin manson. My musical taste is quite ecclectic.

    All boy and all girl groups are the worst offenders i cant even pick them apart anymore. Dont get me started on instant celebs coming up from reality TV.


    But if they start playing Handel (with the exception of messiah) in heaven i am getting out of there.

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  19. ha ha "Anyway..
    I think that the big problem is that now ALL musicians have to be actors and own fashion lines. " is it possible ??

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  20. Country music has its kings like Cash, but so does every genre.

    I do like some "country" but generally detest "country and western," which I think is different.

    Rock -- hard or light, depending on my mood -- and folk is where I seem to fall.

    I love a lot of black music, like Alicia Keyes and Prince, for its beat and soul.

    But the rap and hip-hop, if I understand what hip-hop really is, aren't really music to me.

    On my blog's video thingy, I tend to post everything from folk to rock, with no particular pattern.

    And I like it that way.

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  21. grumbly one,
    Very Clockwork Orange!
    RUSH well, well, well, great Candian band plug.
    Emmy Lou is easily one of the most beautiful women on the planet and in the history of the world and an amazing artist. I have been in love with her ever since the Last Waltz.

    amphibiousblogger,
    Now there is a gigantic black countryrapper! The apocalypse cannot be far behind...

    gautami,
    I have listened to a bit of Indian Pop music which seems to be hip hopp with sitars and tablas but essentially hip hop. People jusy like to dance and I think that lyrics mean nothing and they just have to be like a catchy slogan.
    Go listen to some rock.

    scubes,
    What happens on Homo Escapeons STAYS on Homo Escapeons! Toby Keith is a a good ol boy ain't he.
    I love the video where he builds a brick wall around himself and his cheatin' no-good girlfriend walks away.

    All in All I guess that is the C&W version of the Wall. yee haw!

    aidan,
    My daughters grew up with those boy bands and 90s dance music..think what is love..baby don't hurt me..don't hurt me ..no more....
    I must confess that I do like some of those songs because of the improvements in production but thank goodness that U2, Oasis, Radiohead, the Cure, Pumpkins and Weird Al gave me hope for our species.

    white forest,
    It is apparently possible which means that it can't be that hard to do. Now I know that only 1 person in 10,000 has perfect pitch but now they have machines to just modulate your notes automatically so we could all be doing this if we wanted it bad enough!

    within,
    You my friend are a slave to the vibe..you love catchy upbeat stuff.
    I try to get you to listen to a little bit of everything but when we get together we always still listen to the same playlist from wayback when.

    I have made you about 50 CDs and atleast half of them consist of the same 22 songs arranged in different order.

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  22. You kill me! Haha Nice smack talk, Donn!

    Most of it IS crap, you're absolutely right. It's all about image and promotion. That's why I enjoy listening to local indie, folk bands and artists.

    Great music is out there, you just have to look for it! It might be right around the corner. I recommend Jill Barber if anyone likes folk/jazz. She's wonderful!

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  23. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  24. Great post, H.E.!
    Zee biggest offender has GOT to be the manufactured pop. Bar None. Wow that sounds like a good name for a diet candy bar. I like it. I think I'll write a song...

    Daily I crave chocolate,
    I don't want a cinnamon bun...
    With my ass as huge as a Gi-Ant monolith,
    It'd better be a Bar None!
    do-be-do-be-do...

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  25. Our bigotry towards Rustic Farce is, perhaps, unfair, but it is so often confirmed that it's hard to keep the great talents in mind when viewing the present, redneck spectacle.

    The music in heaven would have a Middle-Eastern, not a West Texas sound.

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  26. tidalgrrrrl,
    We'll be seeing you on American Idol!

    carson park ranger,
    I suppose that there may have been a Middle Eastern sound up there at one point in time...but I can't imagine it being ixnayed once that troublemaker Marty Luther got in there and stirred it up.

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  27. Ok dokee its time to leave a message for you darn city slicker types.
    Since i now live in the country and i drive back and forth to the big city (ooooooo look at the pretty lites) i myself have begun to take a hankerin to that country music.
    I continue to have eclectic tastes and depending how many of them there cottage country people are on the road blocking my way to get home the type of music will be dictated.
    Good ol rock and roll to pass by all them cottagers on the highway or a little bit country or a little bit rock and roll for passing the construction crews, or driving into town to get the mail and waving and honking at all the neighbors needs some good ol down to earth country music.
    So there i have said it ( i like country music) besides that i own a truck or two and we know what you city folks have to call us to help you move cuz we own trucks.
    Beethoven on a day where i want to be neither here nor there.
    Miss Ya,
    Hodedoo

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  28. brilliant brilliant post. The worst offender, all of them except world music and classicals of course. Unbelieve piece of rapper shit out there. The country music is trying to pass of as the cultural show piece of America, but do they or will they ever give up ever cent of it to the poor jsut like God wanted or the people wanted...no? This is all because the kids are getting funked up on wrong culture man, wrong role models. God (or Superman) save us all!

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  29. The last I heard theyre playing 50 cent, Eminem and Kayne West in the Heavens...probably coz they gave the pearly gates some bling bling upgrade. Classicals only play in the holy loo's coz well...people have to answer some sweet call of nature. :D

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