To my knowledge there is no greater spectacle for celebrating complete and utter contempt for our species than the Olympics*.
(Any word associated with the Olympics* is of course a registered name brand!
No person on the planet or in the entire universe can utter the word Olympics* or any related activity* without the expressed written consent of the Olympic* Committee*).
First of all it is simply an excessive PR battle of nations that wastes hundreds of millions of dollars in the flashiest display of one-upmanship on the planet.
On the one hand it is a time out from armed confrontation (good) but instead of feeding and educating their respective populations participating countries waste millions to see how far one of their citizens can jump*?
They should disregard nationalities and make it a truly global and pure competition* between individuals. Forget the medal* count of each country just celebrate the outstanding accomplishment of each athlete* as an individual!
When I think of the Olympics*, I think of the Committee* members who live like F*cking Kings and the athletes* who scrounge and scrimp for four years just to get there.
Some of the sexier events* have
millionaire celebrithetes* who arrive with an entourage of agents*, trainers*, psychologists* and chefs*.
Is it fair that these celebrithetes* compete against impoverished unknowns from some arcane unpronouncable country where they have lived hand to mouth for the last four years?
Why don't they let Guiness World Records just take over the whole thing anyway?
In an effort to find extra income the Olympic* Committee* is celebrating the spirit of Higher*, Faster*, Stronger* by recognising a myriad of new sports*..er activities?...or hobby?..whatever, the new things are ...Bridge*? Billiards*? Motorcycle Racing*? Air Sports*? Dance Sport*? Bowling*? Golf*?
What the hell is that?
Soon they will have medals* for Pancake Eating,
Moustache Growing, Tallest Woman, and Longest Fingernails!
Even if you fail to recognise that Sports* is simply a form of entertainment* one has to wonder if the tall foreheads who manage the Olympic* Committee* have completely lost touch with reality.
There is a difference between a SPORT* and a GAME* isn't there?
There is a little demographic shifting in play here. As the masterminds of the Olympics* physically age they are beginning to pooh-pooh the events* that they cannot personally participate in (not that they ever could) such as Weightlifting*, Sprinting* and Highjumping*.
These old school 'boring as hell' Sports* have given way to Games* like Golf*, Curling* and Bridge*! BRIDGE*!?
Alright it is called the Olympic* Games* but COME ON!
There is a very good chance that some other Committee* (which I am forming)will develop the
ALL-Steroid* Olympics* which will put these bastards out of their misery.
My Committee* will build a permanent facility in Las Vegas and eliminate all of the graft and lobbying that the career Olympic* Committee* members have come to expect and enjoy.
Every country on the planet could save the billions of dollars that are currently being wasted on lobbying those fatcat committee* members* and redirect these funds to me and my friends or simply funnel them back to the build up of Military Weapons.
Regardless, the prospect of watching athletes* spontaneously combust from all of the chemicals igniting in their bodies during an All-Steroid event* would be irresistable for most people.
If sprinters* could 'jack up' and inject rocket fuel based steroids right in the starting blocks* we could find out once and for all how f*cking fast a human body can really move!
There may have to be eight ambulances (or hearses) waiting at the finish line* to deal with the exploding aortas but by golly people would eat it up.
How much higher*, faster*, and stronger* would television ratings* be if they did that every four years?