Tuesday, May 16, 2006

DESIGNING DESPERATION
NEWSFLASH; MALES really are MUTANTS
redux/Feb'06

There is an excellent explanation as to why Mother Nature designs desperate females..males! The unalterable fact that all vertebrates are formed as female can mean only one thing; males really are mutants.

Homo Escapeons (modern humans) of either gender have been designed with desperate measures to counter balance each other's arsenal of weapons in the reproductive tug of war to design better offspring.

I freely admit to openly wishing for th
e global equality of the sexes to prevail and I am not saluting the superiority of females, (however tempting that may be) but to my way of thinking, female escapeons are the faint hope clause for the continuation of Human Life On Earth.


If females eventually reach a superior level of equality on Earth, the males will simply be forced to postpone their current mandate of killing each other off.



Have you ever noticed that the male dominated, warring, nomadic tribes of the dessert, and their inventions of Monotheism and regarding Life as a zero sum gain for one...

seems diametrically opposed to some of the Earth Mother/Goddess inventions of more fertile environments elsewhere on the planet?


For obvious reasons asexuality is an inferior method of reproduction for multicellulars like ourselves and so waiting for chance mutations was eventually pushed aside to allow for a built-in supply;
we call them Males.

That being said, it's always bewildering to look at the list of monogamous species on our planet.

A mere handful of the 4,000 different types of mammals such as Beavers make the list.
For all of the fowl admirers, an estimated 92% of birds make monogamy their reproductive nest egg.
Humans genetically speaking, their cultural pair bonding efforts aside, are naturally excluded, unless you count them as serial monogamists.

Unfortunately, we now realise that monogamy is an inferior system in reproductive terms. That's exactly why homo escapeons developed some sneaky tricks to hide up in their genes (genes).

For instance, female humans naturally disguise the 'best before date' or exact period of fertility, and this allows them to secretly gain access to other males. Not that it is very hard to fool males about anything.

The classic pre-historical example
is the Neolthic female who is trapped in the chief's harem but who secretly hooks up with another dude in the clan. While she has achieved the status and security of being with the chief for raising her offspring but he just ain't ringin' her bell. That's why mother nature has provided a clever escape clause.


Our female subject, can get impregnated and create more desirable offspring with the handsome and charming other dude who is a friend with genetic benefits!


Apparently when the female reaches a climax during a clandestine sexual encounter with the other dude, the cervix can dip into the vagina to ensure a greater quantity of the dude's swimmers. Therefore if the other dude read the first edition of Cave Cosmo and gets it right, he has the best chance of actually fertilising her egg. WOOHOO!

The chief's only recourse for such mischief, not to put too fine a point on it, is to keep her over-supplied with his genetic material. Eeew!


This is all further complicated by the fact that males produce three kinds of sperm; the guards and killers to block and eliminate other sperm, (leggo my eggo)
and the lonely egg getters, lucky sperm, which actually fertilise.
Taken at face value there is a lot of genetic hanky panky built into our reproductive system.

Our species desperately needs the 'kinder-gentler' adaptive features and benefits of a universal female influence in the grand scheme of things,

such as C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-N-G, on the world stage.

Not surprisingly, it is within our predominantly male oriented societies that the inhabitants rampage incessantly against each other like ants. Real meaningful progress in the modern world is and will only continue to be possible where and when the non-mutant (51%) female segment of the population exercises more than their fair share of power.

This may seem to be a shameless exhibition of self castration for the amusement of my wife, daughters,and female viewers, but you're wrong. Before you write me off as spineless dishrag sycophant, let me point out that females can be equally viscious, as in their assessment of the shoes of their own sex.

That being said, even desperate females don't design wars just because somebody else has better shoes.

OK bad example but you know what I mean. Females have more equity in rearing their offspring because they are allotted a finite number of eggs to develop every year..
while men on the other hand are designed with millions and millions of genetic packets that they can broadcast for over 6 decades.


8 comments:

  1. When you finally develop a readership, you will have to run these posts again...they are fucking brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well Brian,
    your enthusiastic response has left me few options other than to get it out there since I have discovered that most of us don't have time to read all of the past postings as we scurry to and fro trying to see what everybody is up to.

    Hopefully my thoughts will be well received and my apprenticeship will advance from super newbie to newbie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, I did read a few of your posts. I find them very informative. Mighty glad I am here and it won't be the first time!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Damn well said! Speaking on behalf of some unspecified number of males, we know we're riding in a
    handbasket, but since nobody asked directions, who knows where we're
    heading? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. males really are mutants

    I'd have to agree with you on that one, but there are some very wonderful mutant specimens out there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. gautami tripathy,
    thanks for the encouraging words and having the courage to admit that you have enough spare time to read old posts..

    grumblefish,
    welcome back, missed ya. Hope this sensitive male stuff doesn't come back to bite me in the ass...

    pamela troeppl,
    of course there are exceptions to every rule or we'd be in real trouble. Thanks for stopping by.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 1 man down, a kagillion to go! ;)
    Very funny, as always!

    ReplyDelete
  8. christine,
    more like a pickle-dillion!

    ReplyDelete

Danke für das Kommentieren/Gracias por comentar/Merci du commentaire/Вы для комментария/Thank You for commenting/Σας ευχαριστώ για το σχολιασμό/Grazie per commentare/Tak for kommentaren...

click yer cursor matey...

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...