Thursday, April 20, 2006

THE TOP TEN
UNSEXIEST MEN!
(Summer Re-Run March 06)


Well since nobody cared to plod through my previous ranting of the day (defending gay people gawd!) so I might as well reveal my encyclopedic ignorance of something else.
A-Ha!
Today's biggest news story: The 100 unsexiest men in the world?

What sort of sick, disenfranchised, little, twirps wasted all of that time and energy creating this list anyway. These poor bastards on the list are as the Good Lord made them. Let's see some photos of the scoundrels who created this list!

While the price of Oil is set to take off in the $70-$100 per barrel range (and upward for the rest of your life) here we are discussing mugs?

Iran Nukes? Hamas bombings? Solomon Islands? World Peace?
No not even something as pedestrian as the price of gas..HELLO!..
howzabout a little reminder of what gas hikes signal....

cue Aretha Franklin..
R-E-C-E-S-S-I-O-N

sock it to me sock it to me....
Nope...doesn't ring a bell?

Alrighty then, never frickin' mind.

Therefore I must humbly concede to the lowest common denominator but on my own terms. I cannot dignify this unsexiest 100 list with a reply because,
A. I don't recognise half of the names on it and
B. as you know, everything is beautiful in it's own way (barf!). These men have families, friends and feelings you heartless bastards!
I am reminded of a fabulous Yiddish phrase:
There is a LID for every POT.

Allow me to present, for my enjoyment, a list of unsexy men who are currently dead or as good as dead.

I can promise you that I won't be sending any of these guys into a shame spiral.
Here then is my highly unexpected list of the
TOP TEN UNSEXIEST MEN.....

J. EDGAR (nice dress buddy) HOOVER









IDI AMIN DOODOO









kiss my HEINY HIMMLER










LIL' KIM










GENERAL WRONG-SIDE-OF-THE-BED SHERMAN










EYE-FOR-AN-EYE-ATOLLAH KHOMEINI










PRIME RIBMEISTER NORTH











VLAD (DRACULA) the IMPALER










YASSAR HE'S MY BABY!











and last but not least,
SATAN








WHO WOULD YOU ADD?

3 comments:

  1. Very little to disagree with there, Mr E. In fact nothing at all to disagree with. But we'd much rather lknow who your list of 10 All Time Sexiest Men are - we know you're not homophobic 'cos you said so in your last post ( it was read but you'd said it so well, there was nothing left for the rest of us to say)

    Bring it on, kid x

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you insist..of course this is when these guys were in their prime...Tyrone Power/Cary Grant/Rock Hudson/Robert Redford/George Clooney/Sean Connery/Errol Flynn/Paul Newman/Maximillian Schell/Denzel Washington..whew!Howzthat Ladies! Not a dry seat in the house. That wasn't so hard..I mean difficult, C'mon don't get all feudian on me now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11:30 AM

    Mr. E?

    I grasp your point here that while the world is falling apart, we are doing up lists about sexy people.

    But we are also members of a species that watches soap operas, Entertainment Tonight, Survivor and so much other pap on a daily basis that it clearly proves we have all been rendered mindlessly impotent.

    It's all part of some master plan to direct us away from even trying to contemplate what's actually happening (as you have reported in so many of your previous efforts).

    Because if we were actually to all duck beneath all this pap for a few days and really just stop the rat-race they're encouraging and think about what's happening here, we'd all turn into lemmings and jump off a cliff. Or we'd quickly organize mass marches to the capitals of the world, oust the politicians everywhere and blow up all TVs.

    We're all stars in our own Survivor series and the brilliant thing is, most of us are doing a much better job than any of those actors they have on TV.

    And that's the beauty of who and what we are.

    The Blogger Booger (aka one of the 10 sexiest men on the planet)

    ReplyDelete

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