Friday, April 21, 2006


I recently updated my Blogger profile. I have come to realise that something profound has happened to me during the last three months thanks in part to Blogging.

Now I don't have to wait (although I find it irresistable) to disseminate my entire worldview upon some naive soul at a social gathering who inadvertently asks me how my children are doing. This tedious habit has historically been fueled by several double shots of Appletons and generally ends poorly with both of my feet hanging from my mouth. DOH!

Blogging affords me the luxury of controlling a system for exchanging ideas and information that I can edit when I am completely wrong about something. I can manage the free distribution of personal propaganda, dumb ideas, and poorly thought out points of view on any subject matter. Voila, I have my own little magazine/diary for that cranial junk drawer that I call my brain.

My recent travels in cyberspace have justified my suspicions that I am far from unique in my intellectual quest to have my parking pass (existence) validated.
By searching other Blogs it is now blatantly apparent that there are literally hundreds, thousands and maybe even millions of other human beings on the planet (big surprise) with rich imaginations and fantastic well organised worldviews that I can now interact with. And don't forget all of those wonderful idiots to torment. This is heaven!

For the first time IN A LONG TIME, maybe even since high school, I feel connected. The best part is that at the age of 48 (hey, 50 is the new 40) I either am or atleast feel truly free from the hormonal slavery and peer pressure of my youth, and the mindnumbing tedium of the following ratrace years. Welcome to the Middle Ages.

That doesn't guarantee that I won't still make a complete ass of myself, just read my posts! It does mean that the semi-isolation of being a humble, stay-at-home Dad in a world that boasts 793 Billionaires is more palatable. Hey, with enviable scallywags like George Clooney and Colin Farell out there it is easy to think that you're missing something. I'm not really. My life is now considerably more balanced. It would appear from this sugarcoated posting that my testosterone levels have dropped faster than the Icarian like plummet of Tom Cruise from Olympus.

I consider this electronic outlet the icing on my wonderful little life which I am insanely lucky to share with a beautiful, patient wife, four brilliant, charming children, loving family, and a handful of close, supportive, friends . I hear violins..what the?...OK..we're coming back from commercial...switch to camera 2 a little tighter please...and 3,2 NOW..

I was intent on discussing how it took something like 14 days for the news of the assassination of President Lincoln to sail across the Atlantic, mere minutes to report the death of John Kennedy via TV, and that today bad news would be measured in seconds on the internet. But whatever..I'll save it for a rainy day.

Have a nice weekend...Life is a Garden, DIG IT!

PS. We now return to our regular scheduled program....I knew it...I knew it the second that I clicked Publish Mom emailed me and said, didn't you forget someone dear, signed chopped liver? GAWD! I probably deserve that but she never reads these things! Now I have to do an entire post on how wonderful my Mom is. Then in the twinkling of an eye, my four year old, in a fit of spring fever, decided to go au natural in our enclosed backyard, and proceeded to uncharacteristically apply #1 (weed killer) and #2 (fertiliser) to the lawn. UGH! YOU DID WHAT? My brief moment of serenity is shattered and the reality check is now complete.

I can certainly state for the record and without fear of contradiction, that it will always be impossible to A. pretend that you have-it-all-together and B. please everybody all of the time.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:19 a.m.

    Yes, SS, believe us (that is, the REST of the planet) that the unleashing of your pent-up brilliance since February has in fact shaken up the world.

    There may be billions and billions (remember Carl Sagan, bless his soul?) of other bloggers and beautiful minds out there, but the key thing is there's only one Solliquist Synopsis or whatever you call yourself.

    I just wish people out there could hear your laugh and see your eyes as they light up all child-like as you prepare to deliver your latest humor-laden insight on life, which usually involves a joke at somebody's expense, often your own, but which also says so much about the human condition.

    And yes, now you will have to do a complete blog on your mom, who most certainly is not chopped liver.

    The Blogger Booger


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