DON'T LET DIRTY LAUNDRY
HAMPER YOUR LOVE LIFE
(Summer Re-Run March 06)
Attention married men, it's time to clean up your act and iron out a few things. Here is some spin on how to recycle your romance.
For starters, NEVER 'air out' your dirty laundry in public, EVER, you will only agitate your wife. Man up!
If the little white thing down in your basement is only getting used once a week, then its time to turn the tide.
Allow me to shed some sunlight on the subject.
It's time to bounce that fleecy feeling and start from zero.
First of all, you can't just lift the lid, crank the nobs, shove your stuff in, slam it shut, run off, and expect your good-lady-wife to be satisfied?!
You shouldn't feel hampered by time ...
take your time separating your wife's delicates,
and concentrate, you wouldn't want anything to shrink now would you?
Don't forget to insert generous amounts of fabric softener into the designated receptacle before putting anything else in.
Pay careful attention to the labels and follow instructions...
don't just stand there and fiddle with the control dials..these are finely tuned instruments that respond accordingly.
Gently rotate the little dial around and around until you locate the warm to hot setting, then you can push the big nob in.
Now on occasion, when you are pressed for time,
the short spin cycle is OK...
just don't make a habit of it.
This should go without saying but..
If you haven't advanced a load lately it's your own darn fault.
DO NOT wait until the stuff in your basket looks like it is ready to explode?
You can always do a few small loads by hand.
Another delicate matter;
every once and a while you may have difficulty keeping your junk wrinkle free, you may have to use the fluff setting..add a little starch to stiffen the collar..
hey, it happens.
When the buzzer goes off, don't panic, and don't think that you're finished...
it ain't over until the rumbling and tumbling completely subsides...
then you can politely ask if she would like you to do another load.
Before you take it all out and start folding..
wrap your arms around and feel how wonderful and cozy-warm that is. MMMMMM.
Follow these simple guidelines and before you know it, you will both be looking forward to things getting down and dirty.