Friday, February 08, 2008

HOMEY ESCAPING WINTER
As the psychological torment of Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD, continues to wreak havoc upon what little is left of my grey matter,

HEY YOU TRY ENDURING FIVE FRICKIN' MONTHS OF WINTER IN WHATEVERPEG!


((ahem))

I shall be handing over the duties of this blog to Lord Tennisanyone, and others, until Spring comes to my rescue. Lord T. told me to post his portrait of him as a young man (quite full of himself I'm afraid)
but when his body was discovered, frozen solid, in Antarctica
he looked more like this...
anyway I'll let him tell the story about how they Cryogenically preserved him..
next to Walt Disney apparently.


I trust that you shall extend every courtesy to Lord Tennisanyone, Donnicus the Solipsist Soliloquist, and any others who might show up. Bear in mind that I have signed a waiver rendering me harmless against anything inappropriate that these people might say...

so nyeh!

Until Spring Toodaloo,
H.E .

47 comments:

  1. Should we address you as His Purpleness?

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  2. Spring is nearly here, I promise.

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  3. uh! like when is spring in waterverpeg then?!

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  4. I totally LOVE this name! I think you should keep it far beyond spring.

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  5. I love the new name...I'm thinking of changing mine to Lady Chattering! Spring whenst dost thou comest???

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  6. Surely spring is only a few weeks away?

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  7. This is strange - I was just about to relinquish control of my blog to Lady Badminton-Reilly and her consort the General Sqashington.

    Stranger things have happened at sea, as Regie would say...

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  8. breaded SquareFish6:04 PM

    Ahoy there, Lord TenuouslyOne. Best of luck, establishing any sort of order with that rowdy lot of dubious ne'er-do-wells. I thought it damned peculiar that they should all share a common
    return address (Bellevue, is it?)
    Ah well, customs vary; plop, plop, fizz,fizz, count backwards from one
    Spring will be here, in no seconds flat.

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  9. Multiple Personality Disorder.....it was inevitable, wasn't it?

    Whatever, I enjoy the hell out of "youse guys", no matter WHO shows up.........

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  10. Have you taken leave of your shuttlecock?

    Please address me from now on as Lady Canasta. Formerly the Princess of Pinochle and the Countess of Cornhole.

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  11. My Lord you're crazy! lol!
    *curtsy anyway*
    tell me when the thawing is done,
    i'll get you a cup of tea. Earl's Grey? you wouldn't be in feud with him, would you?

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  12. geoff,
    Actually it's 50 Love and perhaps male menopause is in full swing!


    mj,
    You may, although Prince will take exception.

    spentrails,
    My Word! Spring will not be evident here for 3 more months..I shall be tightly bound in a rubber room by then.

    ghostay,
    Spring arrives in May. All of those damned official dates were designed for Latitudes far closer to the bloody Equator.

    anna,
    I have no control over these characters. I should think that it would be bad form to keep HE locked away indefinitely but only time will tell.

    Lady Chattering!
    How lovely it 'tis to cast my eyes upon your smile. I trust that all is well? You must have found something or someone quite enchanting out there in the RW to have kept you from us for so long.
    Time to dish sistah!

    stace,
    Pfffffft! Weeks? Gadzooks, only in my dreams. This Weekend we are getting socked in by a Blizzard.
    It gets harder every year to cope with this..I need to hibernate.

    Lady Badminton-Reilly,
    How enchanting you are. I never did get over losing your affections to that twat Squashington.

    Any chance of a duel?

    breaded squarefish,
    The multitude residing in me 'ead, and they are legion, easily outwit the shrinks. Those twits would lose a game of checkers to a chicken. Mere child's play for any of the intruders lodged in my brain.

    I am however intrigued by this darling Phrenologist..
    she is quite the looker. nudge nudge wink wink say no more!

    preposterous ponderings,
    Absolutely my Dear. I shall send Charlie out in the silver Bentley to collect you at the crack of noon. We'll have a marvellous time. Gatsby is having another one of his parties. Huzzah!

    THE michael,
    First come, first served! I knew that I should have made the bloody password a little less obvious...but I had no idea that the hackers were in me own blawdy brain.

    Lady Canasta,
    I am familiar with your exploits Countess. Cornhole is beautiful this time of year.

    Indeed, my cock left it's shuttle some time ago. I had expected it back by Tea Time but now anyone's guess is as good as mine.

    I suspect that getting it back in will be much more difficult than it was to convince him to come out.
    Oh My!

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  13. While I lament the loss of the dearly departed HE, at least until spring, it shall give me no end of laughs and verbosity to snicker at this latest incarnation.

    Just make sure that some form of Donn Coppens is irritating me forever more, please.

    A duel, at 10 paces!

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  14. when it all gets too much you can come and stay with me - I could do with a laugh :)

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  15. Choose your weapons (opens ornate box to reveal gold-trimmed Croquet clubs.) Don't you just hate people that pronounce croquet 'crockette'?

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  16. I challenge you to a game of pétanque at the Boulodrome.

    Beware, as I'll lob a steel boule at your bizarrely-coiffed head.

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  17. Bro! uve been tagged! head to me blofg.

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  18. mj: Aren't you paying attention here? It isn't really him.

    Lord TennisAnyone: I've read that you are said to have a wonderfully sonorous recitation voice. Will there be sound clips? I hope these will feature fresh renderings of some of your more famous assonances (no offense...) and alliteratives, such as "the interminable murmuring of innumerable bees."

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  19. Lord Nevile Chamberpot and the Earl of Sandwedge send their regards. Should you, and the Lady Cornhole care for a jaunt, you are most welcome to stop in for a snifter or two. We might also chase up some beer and skittles if that's more to your liking, or maybe some tea and Crumpet. Provided of course that the Crumpet is in the mood. I wonder if I could impose upon you to bring your own tea trolley? I've been off mine since about a month after this damnable New England Winter started. What Ho! Sorry, I meant to say "What, Ho?" and I was not addressing you, strictly speaking, just thinking aloud. (drifts off humming "Rule Britania")

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  20. I trust you’ll be entering the next Chap Olympiad?

    I’d love to see you compete in the Three-Trousered Limbo or the Umbrella Hockey match.

    *waves to PMM*

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  21. This is precisely why I'm living where I am - and it's as far north as I can bear. The cold and the gray are just not for me. But this is the last bad month and spring is just around the corner.

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  22. man, beast or what-may-be:

    1. Matter the first to wit: your hair piques me strange; what exotic cabbage is this stood beneath a ki-wi's nether hine; what calamitous coif troubles that tapered vault?

    2. Matter the second to wit: I am troubled sore and graciously request that you, Tennisanyone- man, beast or what-may-be, remain a gentleman always; that our Coppens be well kept and that no expense be spared.

    3. Matter the third to wit: Know as well that in this matter vis-a-vis 'Care of Coppens his nutriment and laundry' that I do not hesitate to cast down this pinlace glove! Mightier than you have met their fate over lesser matters....!

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  23. omg the pics were so FUNNY LOL!

    Keshi.

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  24. winky wankerpants,
    I understand that you have already been challenged to a duel with HE over at Gautami's..

    it's been nice knowing you.

    ziggi,
    Don't be surprised if HE actually shows up one day. Two of HE's children will be in London in March, perhaps they will be doing advance work for his arrival???
    Be careful what you wish for.

    fathorse,
    Yes I sincerely hate those people...
    but not as much as I loathe people who insist on Him-ah-LAY-ahs..how pedestrian?!

    mj,
    Do your worst. Surely you could muster up something more interesting to do while your feet remain stationary ala jeu provençal?

    ghostay,
    Is it the book thingamabob?

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  25. He_Man! Nah...its the 20 question thingy...i think ill get bored with it :P

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  26. i mean I think u'll get bored with it.

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  27. paul maurice chevalier,
    Well, well, well, what have we here? Spreading rumours about my somnambulistic soliloquisisms are we now?

    Who've you been talking to then? I'll blawdy well find out you know!
    It's all lies you'll see..
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    ((*THUD))

    breakerslion,
    One would have to be perfectly insane to turn down such hospitality! I dare say that if you are as quick with the Brandy as you are with the tongue than I shall be there momentarily...and I intend to languish in your hospitality until this damned Winter has concluded.

    mj,
    My Word how did you know!? I always do well in the Shouting at Foreigners event and I do so love Regent's Park in July!

    citizen of the world,
    You are wise beyond your years because this Winter Thing is for the birds as they say..and even they have enough sense to leave!

    first nations,
    Not worry my Dear. Your little friend has been well provisioned on his tropical island and Miss Bellucci was more than pleased with the ((ahem)) shall we say, arrangement.

    keshi,
    Laugh if you must Madame, but I am as the Good Lard made me...except for the hair which, I'll have you know, is all the rage in Venice this year.

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  28. I have reliquished my blog to a mad chef called Krimo who's very dangerous with his blunt wit.
    He insists that I fill his till with profiteroles. What's wrong with Cream?
    PS: I like your new hair style, HE.

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  29. How do you keep your coif in place?

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  30. tara,
    Oh I shall. I intend to catch up on some reading, watch about 50 movies, and just relax, until I see returning Finch fluttering about my back yard.

    Krimo deluxo,
    I think that your succesion is simply grand. Why not let Cream wander about the globe, as he is so often inclined to do anyway, and leave the restaurants in your capable hands.

    mj,
    Have you ever seen There's Something About Mary?

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  31. A little dab'll do ya
    You'll look so debonair
    The girls will all pursue ya
    They love to get their fingers in your hair!

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  32. Where do file my complaints after kicking Lord Tennisanyone on his ****?

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  33. Seriously HE, you and yours will be welcome!

    Also lost children catered for.

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  34. Gautami...at the tennis court?

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  35. At the risk of offending my transatlantic, aristocratic equivalents, I shall relate to you the following story/insult.

    My esteemed housemate the Medic constantly bemoans the incapable and, one might add, simply lazy spelling of medical (and even non-medical) terms in Gray's Anatomy (the reference book, you uncultured oaf - yes you. We all heard.) 'Fetus' irritates her particularly, as does 'estrogen' and 'esophagus', but far worse than these minor simplifications of key anatomical terms is the (mis)pronunciation of medical jargon employed by her North American lecturers, including such treasures as 'cervical', 'vaginal' and 'esophagus'. (She has been studying STIs of late...*)

    Personally, so long as people don't talk to me about 'Erbs', 'rowts' and 'nich-E markets', this Lady couldn't care less.

    *What I am sure you do NOT want to hear about is the infamous fractured penis and precisely how to gain one. No, neither did we.

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  36. Fathorse: Whatever you do, don’t read my Todger Trauma posting.

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  37. Gone but not forgotten!

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  38. i am sending warm kisses from my island! i would say "aloha!" but i'm not from there.

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  39. Lord T, just to let you know, HE posts quite often. :P

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  40. mj,
    Oooh ya chicks dig it!

    gautami,
    My Word!
    Good grief woman try to control yourself. It would be most unladylike to hoof me in the family jewels.

    ziggi,
    I would love to meet you..Freddy, not so much. I am afeared of him.

    ghostay,
    Do not encourage the Lady. Hopefully she will calm down and abandon her wrath.

    i still like the view,
    *waves back!

    cheval gras,
    What the Colonists fail to appreciate is the sheer esthetic beauty of adding an O with every E.
    These miserable little sods don't care a tinker's cuss about maintaining BBC Proper!

    Fracturing one's urinary meatus is not a topic for the feint of heart. Fortunately I have enjoyed a relatively incident free association with my member of parliament.
    *crosses fingers

    mj,
    Quit goading the Lass into perusing Todger Trauma...I am quite certain that once you've seen one, you've seen them all.
    PFFFFT!

    whitesnake,
    What is this cryptic epitaph that you lay at my feet?

    {Illyria}
    I am very appreciative of your warm gesture. I am intrigued by your metaphorical vision of a lush island paradise concealing an active volcano...outstanding!

    How do the Fates findest thee in sweet Illyria? Methinks that I shall visit momentarily and see for myself.

    ghostay,
    My quest is to ensure that HE is well rested and abandons his natural propensity to remain firmly planted upon his idiomatic laurels..
    "To rely on one's past achievements instead of working to maintain or advance one's status or reputation"

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  41. Sorry, old man - I see now that I misremember, and that you most certainly referenced the innumerable murmurings of soporific sneezers.

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  42. that lord tennisanyone had me very discombobulated when he showed up in my comment section...!

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