homo escapeons

ENVIWRONGMENTALISM

As I discussed on March 19th, the best job in the world is being a weatherman, weathergirl, or weather person.

Unlike a surgeon, cashier, pilot, or explosives expert, a weatherperson can be wrong 50% of the time and still keep their job.

My problemo is that our precious Humanitoban Summers have historically only been 2 months long so it is nice to know what is happening outside.

We actually had F4 Tornadoes

less than one hour away from Whateverpeg (pop 750,000) this past weekend!

Thankfully nobody was killed.

GLOBE&MAILstory.

http://TORNADOES

It is the last week of school and the days have started to shorten already because June 24th is longest day of the year.
Summer holidays will be gone in a flash.

Summer Holidays?!

Apparently the French Normans imposed the idea of summer holidays after they conquered England in 1066.

I presume that during this point in history that the English still had no idea that it was not cloudy and raining in continental Europe.

I am also guessing that the Brits summered where they wintered because the weather is crappy all 365 days of the year and therefore did not vacance their winter homes ala les La-Di-Da Normans.

Mind you I did see the film about the Queen and apparently Mum and the rest of the “Germans’ head north to Scotland for the summer holidays in search of greyer, rainier, drearier, weather.

This act of masochistic duty is required in order to maintain the stiff upper lip, an air of unflappable non chalance, and to maintain the ghostly pale complexion that her predecessor Elizabeth 1st made so popular.

Here in the Colonies we of course inherited these summer holidays because they permitted schools to close so that the children could work on the farm.

My maternal Great Grandfathers were both farmers so my pessimism and morbid fascination with weather conditions is decidedly genetic.

Farmers live and die by the weather so it is a tempestuous 'love/hate' relationship as volatile and unpredictable as the weather itself.

Pictured above to the right is my Mother's Mother's Parents:

Jacob B. Fast & Caroline (Poersch)

who came to Canada from Russia in 1874

and below is my Mother's Father's Parents;

Johannes Thor Simonson & Anna Marie (Franzene)

who left Sweden in 1893 to farm in Minnesota before moving up here.

Now I realise that today forecasters have a hard time guessing what the weather is going to be like tomorrow so perhaps it is unfair to judge our governmental agency in charge of guessing what the weather will be like tomorrow http://ENVIWRONGMENTCANADA.

Obviously the planet is trying to get rid of our species by altering the climate.

What this means is that unfortunately, unprefrickindictable weather, will be here to stay for the rest of our lives.

ENVIWRONGMENT CANADA has 6,000 employees and a budget of $500 Million. According to their website 80% of their budget is wasted, I mean spent, on ‘scientificky’ stuff about the atomosphere.

My question is why?

How about spending a few hundred bucks from http://SEARSHOMEIMPROVEMENTS and installing windows at the 100 Enviwrongment Canada offices.

This would definitely help embattled prognosticators know if it is actually sunny or raining outside.

The scientificky computer wizards could actually stick their heads outside and experience Mother Nature in all of her glory.

If the weather is completely fercoct,

then why bother trying to pretend that ENVIWRONGMENT CANADA has any idea what it will be like outside ?

If 6,000 people and half a billion dollars can’t tell me whether it will be raining or sunny outside then forget it.

Let it go.

Waste the money on something more productive…

like developing that fancy schmancy NEW SCHOOL CALENDAR that has five terms;

4 equal two week holidays &

4 weeks of summer holidays.

This makes perfectly good sense now that Mother Earth has trimmed our Summers down to one lonely month, JULY.

http://WHATEVERPEGWEATHER