Tuesday, May 01, 2007


For those of you who are unfamiliar with PAB here is a link: wiki/Passive_Aggressive .

“Passive-Aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is assumed, often explicitly, to be responsible.

It is a defensive posture and, more often than not, only partly conscious. For example, people who are passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.”

I’ve always been baffled that this behavior survived the testing ground of Human Evolutionary Development…
until it finally dawned on me…

Let us suppose that two cavemen are out hunting for the Clan and come upon a Deer.
Caveman A is ‘normal’ and Caveman B has ‘PAB’.
They spot their prey at the same time and without hesitation Caveman A immediately spears the Deer and breaks out into a big smile and breaks out into a little dance.

Meanwhile Caveman B had hesitated because he was too busy remembering all of the things that he hated about A but never told him…
and A had never even asked him!
A had always done everything better than him.
B was so insanely resentful that A could seem to do anything..
A never hesitated to think about things or how they would affect B, no he just went ahead and did them…what a Neanderthal!

Caveman B suddenly notices that the Deer is already down WTH! B is furious at this one upmanship and stares at him with his all of the disdain that he can muster….when Caveman A finally looks at him Caveman B rolls his eyes,

then drops his bow and squats down with his back to him.
That will show him, NYEH!

Caveman A shrugs his shoulders and runs to start field dressing a weeks worth of protein. He couldn’t be happier. After he has completed his task he grunts over to his partner to come and help lug it back to the Clan.

No response. B just sits with his back to him and thinking

(Wow I am really sticking it to him HA! Take That!)

Suddenly a huge Saber Tooth attracted by the scent of blood charges out of nowhere and attacks and kills the hapless A who is covered in tantalizing Deer blood. The Saber Tooth then ambles off to his lair with the rest of the carcass.

Caveman B just sits there dumbfounded by the speed at which his telepathic mystical retribution has been fulfilled. After several hours spent hiding in the tall grass, waiting to make sure that the coast is clear, he hesitantly saunters over and picks up the package of Deer meat that A had been carrying.

Once back at the Clan Cave, B gets a heroes welcome and is allowed two more wives by the Shaman. This is how Evolution has favored this trait. Those who confront issues and challenges are picked off while those who procrastinate and sulk in the background are left to collect the rewards.

It has come to my attention that for those of us afflicted with this annoyingly tedious condition that Blogging is a godsend and may be a cure! In lieu of waiting, sometimes for days, for your victim to notice that you are skipping their posts, HELLO !, blogging allows us to leave a snarky comment without the usual panoply of recriminations.

No intimate eye contact or confrontational physical retribution to worry about, nope, nope, nope! As opposed to the real world, out here in the Blogosphere, we don’t have to sulk unnoticed or worry about causing a scene.

Oh sure you can choose NOT to comment on their posting but this is your big chance to let it out like the Normals do in the real world. Have a tantrum, shout, kick and scream in the comment section.

What are they going to do Reply? Oooh!

Yes the most powerful weapon in our arsenal, ignorance, may have finally met it’s Waterloo. So for those of you who are steaming about 'so-and-so' not visiting your Blog, get out there and stir it up. This may be the level playing field that we PAB’s have dreaded since the dawn of time.

Of course you could choose to ignore this post and refuse to comment.
That will show me!
Well NYEH.
I know you are but what am I?
I N F I N I T Y!


  1. I refuse to comment!

    did I pass the test?

  2. ziggi,
    I totally deserved that Bravo!!

    (what I really mean is Nyeh I should wait a few days to respond and see how she likes that)

  3. And then there's simple indifference or lack of time...as in any conversation...

    Indifference can breed indifference, lack of comments inhibits conversation...

    And yep, when it gets too one-sided over a period of time, the other person can simply walk away and it can end...or they just hide in the bush and be PAB and then collect the spoils, I guess.

  4. To avoid being passive aggressive with others I can:

    Try to be assertive, open, and honest with my negative feelings or anger
    Warn people to "read'' my behavior rather than my words if they want to know my feelings.
    Confront myself with my inconsistent behavior and challenge myself to explain it. Take the risk to confront my anger assertively and "on the spot'' so that I can bring my behavior in line with my feelings.
    Work at making my behavior consistent with my feelings.
    Change the way I interact with people and make my relationships more honest.
    Admit that I have been a liar.
    Work at being more honest with people even if it results in a conflict.
    Identify the irrational thinking that prevents me from confronting people when I am angry.
    Learn how to become assertive with my negative feelings.
    Accept that it is OK to have conflict and disagreement.
    Learn to compromise and come to a ``win-win'' solution.

    I have been trying to do this since I was born, but am I suffering from PAB? No idea!
    Don't take this as a comment, HE... It is more a reflection really.

  5. Sometimes it is better to ignore.
    I have found out that pig headed people can never get rational thinking into their heads. They have st notions and the refuse to change.

    I simply close my ears and walk away.

    Ha, why did I comment here?

  6. Hmm. I know I use a lot of passive aggression in the real world. Basically it's because I'm a complete wuss and was scared to hit people in the schoolyard, so I had to learn other tactics (playing emotional games, heh heh).

    Mind you, I don't use those tactics as a blogger. The reason I don't comment on blogs is usually because my brain's fried. Er, will that do??

  7. I can't believe people actually have time to fret that so-and-so didn't visit their blog or didn't comment! WTF? Anyway, HE, I have to say that this subject is fascinating to me because everyone alive today is the product of millions of years of certain behaviors and yeah, we are the result...It boggles the mind.

  8. without weiners,
    Simple Infidifference is a great name for a blog! All that I intended to prove was that the go-getters get gotten! That is why the world is such a mess. Political Correctness is the perfect storm for global PAB.

    That would make a wonderful post!
    I am truly humbled and will now enter my shame spiral in 3 2 1 go!

    Point taken. Those who can, do. Cooler heads need to prevail so there is obviously some sort of mental governor on us..otherwise we would have stagnated long ago...when people enjoyed the company of others in the real world..instead of fearing for their lives like they do now.

    You commented because you are a doer!

    Yes that will do young lady! I had to use self deprecating humour, sarcasm, and my sprinting abilities to survive grade school.
    Later on, when I could no longer sprint, I had to rely on scapegoating for all matters involving harmavoidance and blameavoidance issues.

    Hey you. OUCH Thanks for the hoof in the knackers!

    Actually I'm not really complaining..my point was that out here you don't really have to face your assailants so you can break free!

    My satirical glance at one of the evolutionary tactics that has prevailed and left us with a real mess to clean up was not a cry for help it was declaration of my intention to assert my will upon others until complete world domination is achieved..and all without anyone else even noticing.

  9. Your posts never cease to amaze and enthrall me.
    I rarely never leave a comment on a blog, but, occasionally, I will just read and run, cannot be helped with 4 kids to tend to.
    The PAB would, in my book, be nick named "Halfa" for half a job...procrastinators..hmmmm, give em a shove to move along!!! LOL

  10. I second what WW and Cream said because I am too PA to think of my own comment.

  11. You have WAY too much time on your hands!

  12. cazzie,
    There are 1 million excellent reasons for being over cautious in such a volatile world and the topping the list would be:

    angel witout wings,
    Well there you have it.

    I'll take that as the ultimate compliment. Sir Isaac Newton once worked on a single equation night and day for a year and a half...sometimes I just sit and think and sometimes I just sit.

  13. Again, am amazed at the breadth of topics that you can come up and elaborate on with on your blog HE. Really amazing.

    I usually don't comment when I haven't enough time or if I really don't know anything about the subject matter. :D

  14. menchie,
    Whatever happened to hijacking the comment section with a reply that is completely off topic? Sometimes that is way more fun than trying to come up with something lucid.

    You should try it.

  15. Completely off topic? Who would do THAT?

    I've got this song stuck in my head for days now. Copacabana.

  16. And furthermore...

    I couldn't HELP but notice that you haven't commented on my latest posting thereby having to avoid sending me a photo of your bare arse.

  17. You have been mixing your medication again haven't you?

  18. mj,
    I ain't about to start givin' it away for free sister!

    I wish that I could blame it on something pharmacological...to quote David Bowie in the song Five Years,
    "My brain hurt like a warehouse,
    it had no room to spare.
    I had to cram so many things,
    to store everything in there"

  19. I wanted to comment yesterday,
    but ....
    um ....
    ah ....


  20. Caveman B or maybe Caveman A (I don't know, mate) starts singing 'Waterloo... how does it feel now you've won the war?' I'm not sure what the war is but I can see one if I look far enough south with my powers of telescopic vision.

    Belle and Sebastian: 'and you can say all is equal in love and war well i'm sorry but i've got some things to do because they're making blinkers fashionable and fashionably you'll say...'

    I like what you're saying in this post, HE. We are bloggers. We are alone on our computers talking to the world which we rule and we're getting our chance for public expression.

    Thank you for being my friend :)

  21. blzngfyre,
    Actions speak louder than words..
    which is why Bloggers will never rule the world

    despite the fact that we have everything 'figured out' and did it in record time!

    Solipsism Foreva!
    By George I think you've got it.

    "This ain't rock n roll,
    this is genocide"
    Diamond Dogs/Bowie

    We are alone in our millions,
    like a giant bait-ball swirling in the middle of an otherwise empty sea.

  22. I've probably missed the point, but all I could think of was this:

    caveman dave is very brave -
    he doesn't wash and he doesn't shave -
    but caveman dave's sister,
    is braver. . .

    ha ha ha

    thanks for popping by!

    (I subscribe to the "we are all cavemen" at heart theory of life, BTW - but I don't know id that's relevant either)(and I don't know if I've spelt relevant right or not)(but I figure that doesn't matter!)

  23. i like the view,
    Do you remember the troglodite song?
    "Gotta find a woman

    He'd go down to the lake where all the woman would be swimming or washing clothes or something. He'd lookaround and just reach in and grab one. "Come here...come here".
    He'd grab her by the hair...

    "I'll sock it to ya, Daddy"
    he said "Right on! Right on! Hotpants!

    They just don't write them like that anymore.

  24. Anonymous11:37 a.m.

    Where d'you get these ideas from?? We most of us are caveman B when we have to do something potentially dangerous and scaaaaary, but its ok cos no one else notices as they're too busy indulguing in PAB too. That's why its important to be really impulsive about stuff that doesnt matter at all but that people will take notice of, so everyone else will worship you for your exciting, fast-paced and interesting lifestyle :D

  25. kindness,
    You are very kind.
    You're much too kind.
    You are my kind of people.
    You kind of remind me of whatsherface.
    I should stop...

    I came of age in the 70s so I get most of these ideas from my Flashbacks!
    Yes indeed you need to be totally OUT THERE while you can before the weight of the world crushes your soul and suffocates your "Joie de Vie"!
    ..and make sure that you blog about it.

  26. Hi HE. No, that's not what I meant at all. Try not to strive too hard, it was a wonderful post. Ciao x

  27. oh yeah, or maybe I did LOL

  28. Jammer,
    Clear as mud!

    You really 'got' me now
    You got me so I don't know what I'm doin'

  29. i know you are but what am i?! nope, it never made sense to me either...
    oh lord... you done it now dude!
    you've brough to my attention a whole new aspect to add to my paranoid neuroses!

  30. My eight-year-old is just like that, but there is nothing passive about her!

    Gee, do people really get snarky with someone over not visiting their blog? The first (and most important) lesson I learned in blogging is: "Nobody cares about your blog."

  31. angel,
    Just wait Angel, I have a long list of medical ailments of the psyche to unveil..should take about a year if I did one a week.
    Then I can start working on the conditions that I DON'T HAVE!

    miss cellania,
    Nobody cares!!! What are you saying? I don't get snarky but I have experienced a few chills from some and complete abandonment from others...hmm..maybe I shouldn't care...there are 12 million others out there!

    If your 8 yr old isn't passive then WHEW she doesn't have it. Most children are complete Narcissists until they are about 75 anyway so not to worry.

    btw:I just want to add that your avatar always makes me smile because, well, you are smiling and nobody out here seems to have a nice photo of themselves smiling.

  32. I wish my comment has audio because I am laughing so hard at your incredible way of presenting your ideas.

    Who cares really? Actually some do. When I deleted my first blog, I found out how much I affected people. I felt really sorry that I assumed no one cared.

  33. ces,
    Of course they do. We are all about connecting. Since we don't exactly understand why this world is such a mixture of horror and ecstasy we need to be reassured by others that it's going to be OK...that we're all feeling the same things...that despite the odds everything, I said everything gonna be alright!

  34. reyspoutine10:31 p.m.

    you suck

  35. reyspoutine,
    I know you are but what am I?!

  36. baaaaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaa HE didnt comment in my post!! OH NO!


  37. lolz u took me seriously...cos u actually came to my blog. ty that was a brilliant comment...I laughed so much :):) I even replied.


  38. wazzzaaaaa watchaaaaa....i got a bad meegrain! hemm...wats this post bout?...will come bak to read it...

  39. LOL. Oh HE, you are a gem, sir.

    First, how you came up with that story amazes me.

    Secondly, the way you want to stir up trouble in blog land is awesome.

    I don't know what else to say to this post. LOL. It's a classic though.

  40. keshiroo,
    I shall await the details of your getting a decent shag with bated breath...and there had better be photos!

    Come back to the five and dime Jimmy Dean..when your migrane subsides...that's rough.

    I am here to stir it up and to give people a shake. This isn't a hobby...this is our last chance to stop our freefall into the abyss!

    Blogging is the last refuge of common sense. The will of the people cannot be discounted and we ignore the blogosphere's potential at our own peril.

    Bloggers of the world unite..how's that for a May Day 'call to fingers'!

    I was motivated by your well balanced, but stern, edict to get serious and use some tough love on the lurking crowd!
    Thank You.


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