Friday, October 03, 2008

8.6 Million Years?
This is an older post that I wanted to rewrite and then thought meh?

Since nobody that I know of can really grasp the concept of one million years we need to transfer to units of time that we can recognise, a LIFESCALE such as this hastily, scribbled, graph above that you can click if that will help?

OK, pretend that it is midnight on January 1st.
ONE SECOND=100 Years

DECEMBER 31 (Yesterday)

11:59:59 p.m. (1900s) I was born less than a half second ago just after the computer and nuclear weapons

11:59:58 (1800s) 2 seconds ago you could shake hands with Charles Darwin, Abe Lincoln and Karl (not Groucho) Marx

11:59:57 (1700s) Napoleon Bonapetite wants to rule the world and Ben Franklin invents the lightning rod & the Constitution

11:59:56 (1600s) great play Shakespeare or whoever wrote all of his stuff,

11:59:55 (1500s) Henry the 8th redefines the messy divorce and
Copernicus flips the universe around

11:59:54 (1400s) Six seconds ago America is rediscovered by Europeans who are unaware that Asians walked across and had been there for atleast three minutes!
Johann (not Steve) Gutenberg invents the printing press and the original renaissance man, Leonardo (not Di Caprio) Da Vinci invents pretty much everything except the internet, which of course Al Gore did back at 11:59:59.

re now way back to 11:59:10 (3,000 BC)
some 50 seconds ago people started rewriting, I mean recording history.

ONE MINUTE=6,000 Yrs
11:58 about 2 minutes ago Civilisation began where it will probably end, in Mesopotamia 10,000 BC
Homo Sapiens reach present form of arrested development hurrah!
11:35 25 minutes ago Homo Sapiens began leaving our universal mother, Mitochondrial Eve in Africa to conquer the Earth.

ONE HOUR=360,000 Years
and it's still only DECEMBER 31st

10:40 pm Homo Escapeons start using fire and some of our oldest ancestors like erectus popped up at 8:53 pm and habilis hobbled around 1 pm.

Well, that's the end of DAY ONE/8.6 Million Years ago, so today is only DECEMBER 30

ONE WEEK=60.5 Million Years
DECEMBER 24th It was not a very merry christmas eve for the Dinosaurs because they all died today, poor things had only been here since Dec 6th. Mammals have been scurrying about underfoot since Dec 8th getting ready to replace dinosaurs.
NOVEMBER... we can see reptiles, amphibians, insects, plants and fish introduced. A very busy month for life on Earth.
OCTOBER... crustaceans and starfish rule the world.
SEPTEMBER... we're down to jellyfish and then just algae and protozoa.

JANUARY 1st One Year Ago...
we're back to viral life.
The Earth cooled down about 4 months earlier in SEPTEMBER and the Sun has been around since
*btw The Sun is estimated to fizzle out in another year and a half from when you started. The Galaxy has been around for about two years and the Big Bang banged two years before that.

So the Earth started two years ago in SEPTEMBER
and homo sapiens appeared in the last minutes of DECEMBER
There have been mass extinctions on
December 7, 9, 24, and 28!

So I'd say that we are way overdue for the next Extinction Level Event!

Whether a natural or manmade catastrophe finally terminates our lease, you can bet your assets that there won't be any people around to watch the Sun implode a year and a half from now.

I hope this helps.


  1. Where does Cher fit into the equation?

  2. mj,
    LOL! Cher of course has had a little work done on since she arrived on December 31st.

    Her first procedure was at 11:59:59.05...then again at 06...07...08 and again last week when the last two ribs were removed. Mind you she does look terrific.

  3. **Six seconds ago America is rediscovered by Europeans who are unaware that Asians had been there for atleast three minutes!

    lol great work dude!

    and ROTFL @ Cher!


  4. Time flies when you are having fun.

    It does leave one with a sense of true perspective, just how long we have been here and how long it has taken to stuff it all up.

    Annother great post.


  5. Wow. Blew my mind in just the first second. My meditation teacher says "Live in the present." So I try, and HE publishes this treatise and now my mind is blown in a second...LOL

  6. keshi,
    It is amazing how conceited we humans are. To think that we are the end-all and be-all is sheer lunacy.
    I just watched the Pocahontas remake The New World which featured Colin Farrell chasing a 14 year old princess around which was more creepy than romantic.

    I have always loved Carl Sagan who famously tossed about 'Bill-yuns and bill-yuns'when describing the cosmos but which has ZERO meaning to our little brains.

    We know that billions is a lot but there is nothing concrete about it.

    You should live in the present with an encyclopedic understanding of the past and a realistic plan for the future based on your knowledge of the present and past.
    I just wanted to humanize time a little bit.

  7. Homo Escapeons strikes again!

    While this HE missive is old hat to me, its brilliance and curative context never cease to amaze.

    Especially coming from your tiny must have actually lived all these moments, it seems.

  8. See this is another one of those great posts where I learn something.

    I'm sure we've all layed in bed and thought about "time", like you just did there. You blew my mind.

    Seriously, that was a fun read.

    And we are overdue aren't we? I'm interested to know what will cause our ultimate demise. Us, or something much bigger...?

  9. **Colin Farrell chasing a 14 year old princess around which was more creepy than romantic.



  10. I am going to say something utterly profound in response to this remarkable trip through time like I have never seen before. Please pay close attention, for I will only say this once...........

    Are you paying attention? Good, because here goes.........


  11. Little to add. I enjoyed pondering that post x

  12. within,
    Ok Ok I said not to overdue it. How much extra is this 'gonna cost me?

    You can rest assured that Mother Earth will rid herself of us long before we get the chance to destroy her.
    She has done it before and she will do it again.

    Seriously creepy. I suppose that there is probably a Paris Hilton type sex video of it out on the web called 'pokin'hont ass.

    the Michael,
    My word! I'm only going to say this one million times..

    are you paying attention...

    THANKS! I'm on my way to visit...

    Nice to see you Sir.
    You may Ponder from across yonder Pond....

  13. I can't believe what a GEEK I am?
    guess Blogger didn't show avatars back in 06(two years ago) here I am talking to myself
    *coyote howls in the distance

  14. A fantastic post from before. I rem this one :)

    **Whether a natural or manmade catastrophe finally terminates our lease, you can bet your assets that there won't be any people around to watch the Sun implode a year and a half from now.

    sounds scary!!!


  15. A year-and-a-half? Better get that conservatory finished then.

    Has Sarah Palin seen this?

    Thought not.

    Good work Donn.

  16. Poor dinosaurs. They didn't get their pressies.

  17. can we put it off for a couple of days, that whole 'earth coming to an end' thing? im expecting my son and his family up for christmas. thank you in advance.

  18. Have you been watching the history channel? They often have tales of the next coming event that will destroy us. Heh, I say if we keep going we will do it long before that event ever finds us.
    We have lazy and greedy governments, liars, haters, thieves, rapists, nurderers, oh hell you know where I am going. But tell me Homey Love, where is the love. Why do we chase it away everytime? Not just personal love, but love for another person and humanity. We are lost in the selfishness of our own minds. What a shame Homey. I do not now, nor have I ever understood why we destroy the very things we are looking for and needing. We trust those we should not and not those we should. We have placed borders around ourselves so no one can see or help. Society is losing faith in itself, but still there is love ... somehere. Even when it is far from our fingertips ... It creeps in, covers us, and softly sings to our hearts when we think all is lost. If for no other reason, we should find a way back to the time when we cared because it was the right thing to do. I know, There she goes again. The romantic. But truly Homey ... I know its out there, we need only take its hand and be thankful.

    You always get me ith your posts. I am thankful for that.

    Soft love,

  19. Overdue for an Extinction Level Event?

    *Quickly makes plans to purchase a ticket on the next Chinese rocket to space*

    *Also plans to buy significant stocks in sunscreen*

    Fantastic post!

  20. Oh, say it aint onnn, Donn..

    Why it's Sarah Sienna Palen here, I've been sent on a secret mission to a place I've never heard of, Austayliya?

    I bought my guns and am gunna do a little roo shootin'...

    When I cin git back home I'm makin' liddle ole Winnipeg part of Alaska...I'll surre show u folk a good time then.

    Seeya y'all, and remember..let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

    Your favorite pistolpackin'momma.

  21. you know I just turned 50 and was feeling sort of, eh - like life had passed me by, you know? I read this, and now I know why! Christ, I think my life will be over now much sooner than I expected! Pardon me whilst I go do my bucket list of one item only being that I have less than a nanosecond to live! LOL!

    Very, very witty and entertaining AND informative as always. BTW, send this to Miss SP Creationist who's most likely to muck up the facts but state them quite convincingly. But who cares if she's a little wrong in her information, right? Nucular Palin, that's my new name for her (yes, another one that says 'nucular.')

  22. lol.. this is the sort of stuff that keeps me awake trying to make sense of ...


  23. can I type better or rather spell better lol... I meant murderers. ugh

    Soft love,

  24. donn...ur invite was sent...check ur mail buddy..

  25. i thought i commented yesterday.
    that makes me a .. dinosaur?

  26. For crying out loud... can you not speak any slower? I'm trying to write all this down as you relay it to my fellow minions.

    So far I have managed to decipher your hidden message, cunningly concealed in your passage!

    The answer is yes.. Sarah Palin is indeed a cunt.

    Shall I get my coat?

  27. What a timely (if not depressing) post! JP/deb

  28. You gave me a splitting headache with this post. Whn do I recover? After another billion years?

  29. BTW, call me tami. I made it easier for you...

  30. kinda blows the theory that it only took six "days" to create everything and on the seventh g*d rested, whichever way you look at it (I HATE "creationism" - sorry to have a rant here)

    I LOVE the "year" analogy, kinda puts us in out place, we seem so insignficant don't we - so last minute; and yet we think we're so important and everything revolves around us


    No need to worry none of us will be around when the black hole inhales every atom aound us...
    I don't care where you're from that's gotta hurt!

    Caribou Barbie has not seen this and I don't want to confuse her interpretation of the great Dinosaur/Caveman Wars when Adam led the people to a decisive victory 6,000 years ago next Tuesday.

    Yes it is a shame...but atleast some of them turned into birds and now we get to eat them instead of the other way around.

    I can say without fear of contradiction that the odds of the Sun imploding will not interfere with any of your plans for the next couple of Saganian 'BILLYUN' years.

    Wow! All that I can say is that our primitive impulses still rule the day..we cannot seem to outgrow our primordila urges to conquer others, steal their mates, and steal all of their stuff. We should be well past this by now but for some reason we are stuck.
    Keep dreaming, I am.

    I have a seat in 14 A near a window! I hope they have those nice, warm, towels and fluffy pillows! You had better learn the phrase "Fish or Chicken" in Mandarin.

    If Governor Palin becomes President Palin she will turn North America into a giant shooting gallery. We'll all need to walk around in those hideous dayglo-bright-orange-don't-shoot-me-I'm-not-a-frickin-Deer vests.

    I turned 5-OH last year, piece of cake! Palin will of course pronounce Nukewlar the way Dubya does because he is her role model.
    Don't worry about a bucket-list? You have a couple of decades left and by the time you need one your greatest desire will be to know the temperature and if it's sunny outside of the Home and whether the cafeteria is having macaroni salad every Wednesday.

    Well there you you don't have to think about it anymore. I can only hang on to the big picture for a few seconds about once a month...then I switch back to the brain-channel that is dedicated to finding my damn car keys.

    Spelling Schmelling! In a another year or so we'll all be hooked on txtmsgng fonix anyway.

  33. GHOSTY
    Oh yeah..sorry Dude I check my G-Mail about once every 6 months or so because I forget about it. Why do I even have it? I dunno.

    You need this thingamabob on the sidebar that lights up whatever Blog that you have already visited..without it I would never be able to read the 80 or so Blogs that I try to follow.

    Your ability to read between the lines is phenomenal. Luckily for us we will not be under her power when McCain dies in office prolly sometime around mid-January.
    We can just sit back and gloat.

    Now now it's not depressing it's informative. Once you contemplate how long we Humans have escaped a cataclysmic extinction level event, hence the term Homo Escapeons,

    you can begin to appreciate how we will invent a manufactured extinction level event that's even better than the one that Mother Nature had intended for us.

    Take two aspirins and read me in the morning! I know that when you tease me it means that you like me.
    I like you too.

    The by all means You simply must go out to the theatre and see Bill Maher's movie RELIGULOUS. He deals with the problems of Creationizm because it is such an affront to common be fair he even finds an Astronomer from the Vatican who admits it. Hey modern science is a few Centuries old it's going to take a while to work it's way into the fabric of society.

    WHY I don't know, but that's just the way it is.

  34. LOL donn! hahaha...jst accept the invite once enough. then everything will be auto the next time u visit my blog.


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