The Motion Picture Association of America is lamenting the very sad fact that only 1.4 Billion people ventured into NorthAmerican movie theatres in 2005. Apparently that is 240 million less than 2004. Revenue from NorthAmerican ticket sales dropped to a paltry $8.9 Billion and worldwide receipts a mere $23 Billion. Boo-Hoo!
Ironically 2005 will be remembered as the Clooney/Gay Year.
George is the impossibly handsome-Oscar clutching-writer-director-actor-producer-Sexiest Man Alive 1997-limousine liberal-heart on his sleeve-self effacing-multi millionaire-aw shucks guy next door-KING OF HOLLYWOOD and is now without a doubt the most desirable sperm donor in the universe!
The other story of 2005 is the box-office success of gay themed movies about cowboys and writers. I have a nagging suspicion that the star of Batman Returns, actor Christian Bale, will be in for a few surprises when he gets the script for the sequel: Robin The Boy Wonder.
Actually, I am amazed that ANYONE actually goes to see movies in a theatre!
Hey Mr. Movie Marketing Genius Executives I'll tell you why I can't enjoy the movie and exactly what is so annoying about sitting in a dark room with 200 loud, smelly strangers for 2 hours.
Hmmm let's see....oh yeah;
Everybody else is too f*cking busy TALKING to others/to themselves/to you!?/on cell phones/narrating each scene to the audience/asking questions/pointing out plot holes/yelling at onscreen villains/warning onscreen victims and WHISPERING LIKE THIS!/ jangling their keys/jiggling their change/ kicking the back of your chair/ coughing/ expectorating on the back of your head/ farting/probing their pockets ewwwh!/parading back and forth to the washroom/picking their nose gawd/stepping on your toes/burping/ knocking your arm off of the armrest/ not-so-secretly staring at your date's boobs for 2 hours COME ON../and randomnly rubbing against various parts of your persons ugh!
True, these are all simply etiquette issues that will not be resolved in my lifetime but COME ON!
What about the snacks! OK...Other people insist on chomping and chewing popcorn with their mouths WIDE OPEN/swishing their straw through the ice in their soft drink cup/ slurping and gulping the last microscopic drop of coke/ rattling the ice around the cup..IT'S EMPTY/crunching the ice cubes in their mouth....but the absofrickinlutely one thing you marketing wizards could do is.....
p l e a s e ....
GET RID OF THE CELLOPHANE WRAPPED CANDY! crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle..aaarrrggghh!!!!...
why dear gawd why?
Maybe it's just me,
but the way things are now,
everybody might just as well bring a frickin Tambourine and a Kazoo?