MOVING THE PRIME MOVER

I am an apologetic, born again-Agnostic..sorry, but if I am being totally honest with myself, then I must confess that I don't know or understand much about GOD.

Unfortunately we Humans have no real way of proving or disproving the existance of GOD but that hasn't stopped many of us from trying to slaughter naysayers and the proverbial others who hold contradictory views about GOD...
many of whom would merrily reduce the world to cinders in order to prove their point!

On the other hand, we do have atleast 5,000 years of historical evidence that would strongly suggest that the CREATOR is either too distracted or disinterested in nurturing and improving upon his so-called prized invention, the masterpiece of molecular biology that we call Humans.

I have a few issues to contend with that would help resolve this matter.

First and foremost is the fact that vertebrates are formed as female, ergo males are literally mutations, and it would therefore stand to reason that GOD is a chick and not some dude.

This revelation helps to explain why our world is in constant f*cking turmoil in lieu of just having a few irritable days every month.

The natural order of things is out of alignment because males have taken over the helm through sheer brute force and usurped the role of women as the administrators of Life Inc.

Think about that for a moment...how different would the world be if women had not been forced (under duress) to acquiesce to all of the male oriented bullsh*t?

Secondly, a quick glance at the developing trend in the geo-political pissing match between the two reigning ideologies, strongly suggests that the extremist factions of both groups who somehow always seem to cajole or bully the moderates, are hellbent on dragging the rest of the world into an inevitable showdown. A winner take all, no-holds-barred, zero-sum-gain, cagematch.

Which, as you can well imagine, really pisses me off.

You could argue until the sacred cows come home that cooler heads will eventually prevail.... but these are male heads that we are talking about, and they weren't designed during our arduous, evolutionary, journey to tackle the intricacies of interpersonal communication and cooperative living.

Nope.

Male brains have essentially evolved to feed, fabricate fibs, fight, and fornicate...and not necessarily in that order. That being said, many of us modern mentrosexuals have managed to scramble our genetic code, curb our natural proclivity towards fighting and killing the other Humans burdoned with a wenis.

Now we can concentrate on feeding, fabricating fibs, and fornicating...but again, not necessarily in that order.

The recent US Presidential Inauguration was nice because Obama graciously acknowledged, prolly for the first time in history, that non-believers are people too. Why there is still so much GOD BLESS AMERICA in a supposedly plural neutral political function is beyond me. Apparently a lot of Americans still believe that the CREATOR chose America as his favorite place on Earth..ever!

Which would make about as much sense as HIS deciding to finally show up over one hundred thousand years after we were fully Human, and then chooses a small group of desert wandering nomads in the middle of f*cking nowhere to announce his existance to the rest of the world..where 95% of the other Humans lived.

HUH?

HE then displays some disturbingly egocentric, adolescent, behaviour, and demands unconditional adherence to his Laws. These weren't Ten Suggestions. Now wait a minute, I'm not just singling out the Judeo-Christian format because there is plenty of blame to go around. There are lots of different versions of GOD but that is the one that was thrust upon my developing brain.

Assuming that Homo Escapeons were fully modern over 150,000 years ago, why would GOD wait until the Fifth Century BCE or the First, Seventh, Eighteenth Century or the 1950s for that matter, to show up to start cleaning up his mess?

You tell me..What was wrong with all of the Human lives that had lived for tens of thousands of years before GOD dropped in? What about their prayers? No wonder we invented all of these GODS. How else could we explain the mindnumbing unpredicatblility of Life than to invent corresponding fickle deities?

Why didn't any of those pre-GOD people matter?

READING WEEK
Click on my profile..
see all the Blogs that I am trying to follow...
in order to do this, I need to spend one week every month visiting.

While I'm away, if you can possibly manage the time, please scroll down and feed my fish.

I CAN'T BEAR THE GUILT

Commenting on my last post Lulu LaBonne said...
"That's just you and your friends in bear suits making people feel good isn't it?"

Yes Lulu, GUILTY AS CHARGED!

but I sure had Miley_Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) goin' for a while..

until she pulled my mask off and said,



"I figur'd you was kinda short to be playin' that Chewin' Tobacca guy from Star Wars!"

Ouch!

LULU's MEME:

A recipe for disaster

LULU asked me to continue a meme..open the fourth folder in your picture files and publish the fourth picture. Here it is. I'm putting 4 pictures up.

This little album reveals how smart Bears are, and how not-so-smart People can be.

This family in Alaska apparently encouraged wild Bears to join them in their backyard. Armed only with a glass of red wine and an electric cattle prod, the Black Bears and one Brown Bear, seem to be on their best bearhaviour.

The date stamp reads 2005 so I do not know if these folks are all Bear Crap by now? The pictures look authentic.

As enchanting and Disneyesque as this scene would suggest, it is a recipe for disaster. Wild animals act on instinct and one should never tempt the fates.

The wrong Bear on the wrong day and ces personnes sont histoire.

That little jolt of electricity wouldn't even register on an angry Bear...

which can run as fast as a horse for a quarter mile...

and would make short work out of their human hosts.

This one is especially disturbing.

Let us suspend our disbelief for a moment and hope that they all lived happily everafter...

far apart from each other.

A CHARGE OF INSULT AND BATTERY

I had the pleasure of witnessing a televisual feast documenting the current abysmal condition of civility in modern society...which is now on life support.

The program was aptly titled to hell with manners .
and you may peruse through an interview with filmmaker John Curtin HERE as he dissects the death of civility.

Basically far too many modern Homo Escapeons are rude as hell to each other because they are reacting to a perfect storm scenario:

"misguided parenting, longer commutes, less community, isolation due to technology, and impersonal customer service."

Misguided Parenting; Back in the 60s the North American Baby Boomers (like moi) rejected the rigid conformity of the Leave It To Beaver/Father Knows Best society that we grew up in.

Now of course the pendulum has swung too far and as parents many of the Boomers have overcompensated by soaking themselves, and especially their kids, in some twisted form of self esteem.


For whatever reason, self restraint was viewed as being contrary to self respect? So now we narcisshits view life as one gigantic YouTubian show about US. It's all about ME, ME, ME 24/7.

Longer Commutes = Less Community: Road Rage. The sheer volume of Boomers escalated the cost of housing and has forced them to live further away from their workplace. In big cities a 3 hour daily commute sends many over the edge. This is MY LIFE, MY SPACE, MY LANE.

Thanks to the stress of the 3 hour commute people either cocoon when they finally get home after their 12+ hour day..neighbours schmeighbours...or most begin chauffering their little replicants around to a myriad of activities in the race to create the image of being super-parents.

Now that perceived pedophiles lurk at every corner nobody lets their kids walk to the community club. Ergo the kids play on their handheld computer games or talk & text on their cells as they are grudgingly escorted to their next thing..and usually eat McSupper at the Mcdrive-thru on the Mcway.

Techological Isolation: Look at a crowd of people these days and you notice that most avert making eye contact with others because they are either listening to their Ipods , texting/talking on their phone, or zoning out...in the subway, theatre, car, street, library you name it!

The computer age delivers messages at astonishing speeds now and we get impatient after waiting for even a few seconds...we want it RFN!
In case you overlook the obvious, here we are reading and conversing with ethervolk instead of talking to our neighbour...but it's easier, safer, and more rewarding isn't it?

Impersonal Customer Service: Flying used to be seen as the pinnacle of travelling in luxury, now it is a bloody nuisance...personally I believe that asshats like Osama Bin Hidin and that shoe bomber idiot Richard Reid are as much to blame as the decline in civility... and no punishment is cruel enough to exact our pound of flesh from those assholes.

Banking is of course the other obvious nightmare..
gone are the local tellers and managers that you knew for 25 years..as one of the participants on the show said..you don't blow your top at a teller that you have known for years..she is a person not an automated voice instructing you to press 4 now.

So mix it all together and what do you expect? The Baby Boomers have a few years left to fine tune their legacy. At present their revamping of the social contract will be a dismal failure. Instead of Peace, Love, and Unicorns, modern North American Society is a spectacular sickening vortex of excessive individualism and avarice.

Should we have expected anything less from the ME Generation? Where is that middle ground between ME and them? Technology seems to be exascerbating the problem..shouldn't we turn off the computer and go have coffee with our neighbours or read a book with our kids?

Our brain programming for interacting with others was developed over hundreds of thousands of years (after reaching our present stage of arrested development)for living in Clans and small communities.

Ten thousand years ago our Hunter/Gatherer world was turned upside down by the Neolithic Agricultural Revolution.

Three hundred years ago the Industrial Revolution only exascerbated the problem of living like Ants and began disintegrating the extended familiar multi-generational household unit.

Now the Technological/Information Revolution is in full swing and it seems to be dissolving the Nuclear Family into Individual Units.

What will be left when the next Revolution further subdivides the Individual?
Perhaps we will be stored as units of energy as shown in the Matrix?

We certainly won't have any use for manners if we're all just a bunch of computer batteries will we?

THERE'S GOT TO BE A MOURNING AFTER


A buddy sent over an interesting Beer Ad that is waiting for you at the bottom.

I found Goldstar's approach to be a delightfully refreshing departure from the time honoured traditions of bamboozeling College-age Y-Chromers with false advertising...like this!

This Australian ad is a trojan horse..it is pretending

to empower young females by making fun of the mandatory Beer Ad gals who are almost always dim-witted, giggling, large breasted, biologically accomodating nymphomaniacs who fawn over nerds.

My guess is that young men still noticed it.

These poor impressionable young dudes are led to believe that if they use their product, preferably in vast quantities, scantily clad busty babes will magically appear and literally beg them for casual sex...

a well documented phenomenon classified throughout scientificky circles as the miracle of alcohol.

Most of us understand that this theory stands in sharp contrast to all empirical evidence. Talk about your suspension of disbelief?

Mother Nature has spent 3.5 Billion Years of trial and error perfecting the intricacies of sexual reproduction and it is sad to think that this painstakingly arduous journey can be sidestepped by guzzling a couple Beer.

We were all taught that the survival of a species depends on the successful transference of genetic material that will actually improve and benefit a species.

Why then do young drunk guys believe that young drunk girls will have sex with them?

Don't bother answering that...the miracle of alcohol.

My biggest beef with the advertisers is that it is never fully disclosed why the beer guzzling good-time-gals do not have a Beer Gut or PANIS.

Panis is the medical term for the grotesque unsightly bulge of stored fat that hangs over the waiste and in some instances the genitalia.

If there was any truth in advertising then most of these young women pounding brewskies beer for beer would all look like this...which is still hot.

Most of us are all too painfully familiar with the consequences of making decisions while wearing Beer Goggles. That's why I like this ad. It is PRO-Active and evaluates the true cost/benefit parameters for both genders.

Have a lash at this send-up on how differently the genders view the aspects of getting together for a drink.

click to enlarge

Binging on buckets of Ice Cream seems imminent.

Globowl Warming

GLOBAL WARMING

MY FROZEN ASS!!!!

Did you know that 90% of Homo Escapeons live in the Northern Hemisphere?

I live alongside 500,000,000 other Escapeons who currently occupy North America.

Through some cruel twist of fate, and very poor (selfish) planning on the part of my Grandfathers, I live in the centre of North America.

During the Cretaceous Period 100 million years ago, my house would have been at the bottom of the Western_Inland_Sea.

Which would have been a very Inconvenient Truth because instead of chasing away the bloody Squirrels chewing on my Christmas lights, I would have had a Mosasaur circling the house waitng to eat me!



So it could be much worse, and for such small mercies, I am eternally grateful.

Not that long ago, during the most recent period of North American Glaciation, 26,000 - 13,300 years ago, ice sheets 3 to 4 KILOfrickinMETRES THICK extended to about 45 degrees north latitude...

that's way past my house.

Now to the matter at hand.

Unless you live in North Korea,



where L'il Kim banned the Internet and the 21st Century,
you have no doubt been warned about glo-bowl warming..

which is also prolly banned in Bad Korea.

I mean global warming.

However, if you take a look at todays weather map it is almost identical to the last Ice Age.

Coinky-Dink?

I think not.

Anyway, we are a hardy lot in Whateverpeg and we do whatever we need to in order to survive...

but if this cold snap doesn't end soon I am going to snap!


I can guarandamntee you that I will be HOMO ESCAPING to a warmer climate!

Frankly, I would prefer getting pulled around by Kangaroos,

but what are ya gonna do?

*and speaking of Frank, my apologies to the Frazman..

awesome does not even begin to describe his stuff!

INCLUDE ME OUT
Movie Mogul Samuel Goldwyn's famous malapropism would make an excellent motto for me in regards to wasting my time (and theirs) perusing the vast majority of the 70 Million Blogs out here. Don't get me wrong, I love variety and finding 2 new Bloggers to read every week is sheer delight.

Have you ever just clicked on the NEXT BLOG link at the top of the screen..
don't do it unless you are prepared to surf for a while!
Like the Ocean, most of the Blogosphere looks great from the Crow's Nest, but just below the surface it is quite empty of Living Creatures.

I just clicked through 30ish and found the following:

19 of the 30 (65%) are sparsely posted North American Family Blogs featuring plenty o' pictures of deleriously happy Newlyweds, adorable Pets, or reluctant participants at Family Gatherings where the snapshots of sourpussed rellies look like they are at a wake even though they are opening gifts in front of a Christmas tree.
No doubt most have prolly moved on to Facebook by now.

7 (24%) were glittery Tweenie girl sites (half in Spanish) all disasterstrously plasterred with doo-dads and what-nots and one-line postings about how cool Miley, Jonas Bros. and Britney are...their blog looks just like their bedroom..which is easy to figure out because they take an arm's length picture of themselves every day and post it. I am certain that their parental units have no idea that their little darling is out here chumming the water for cyber-creeps.

The boy version features stuff, I mean crap, about first-person-shooter Video-Games, toys, atleast one poster of Jessica Alba and several others displaying nekked chicks. Mommy and Daddy don't know about these blogs either.

3 (9%) the biggest surprise, was that there were so many Fundie Islamic blogaganda sites! One with a very inapropriate remark about what to do to Zionists which I tagged, and will prolly have a big juicy Fatwa stapled to my ass by morning. Honestly, some peoples' kids eh?

2 Poetry/Photography combos. Lots of pictures of Stars, Symbols, Seascapes, Squirrels, and Sunsets, very relaxing and well appointed...most likely to revisit and read.

Which brings me to the following summation..this little exercise made me insanely appreciative that all of YOU fantabulous cyberfolk that I follow (as best I can) are intelligent, funny, curious, free-thinking, open-minded, tolerant, and fearless and confident. I love it. How could I be so lucky?

Thank You.
No really.
THANK YOU!

Now if you can possibly manage the time add your link to Follow This Blog and then go add two NEW blogs to your site. It's the eaasiest way to keep track of your cybernauts...and MAN UP Lurkers!

What goes around comes around.

GEISTWRITERS

WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?


What better way to start off the week than to traipse into a landmine laced discussion concerning the perpetuity of War in our World.

It seems the when we are oppressed by the knowledge of our worthlessness we do not see ourselves as lower than some and higher than others, but as lower than the lowest of mankind. We hate then the whole world and we would pour our wrath upon the whole of Creation.

The Americans are poor haters in International affairs because of their innate feeling of superiority over all foreigners. An American's hatred for a fellow American is far more virulent than any antipathy he can work up against foreigners.

A sublime religion inevitably generates a strong feeling of guilt. There is an unavoidable contrast between loftiness of profession and imperfection of practice. And, as one would expect, the feeling of guilt promotes hatred and brazeness. Thus it seems the the more sublime the faith the more virulent the hatred it breeds.

We do not usually look for allies when we love. indeed, we often look on those with us as rivals and trespassers. But we always look for allies when we hate.

Erich Hoffer, THE TRUE BELIEVER

Modern warfare is as much of a Public Relations battle as it is about actual combat.

The ongoing they said/we said campaign being waged in Gaza is a perfect example...both sides immediately launched a media blitz to justify their actions and secure allies. 


The usual litany of atrocities and grievances are being waged electronically in the hope of gaining the moral high ground..which is appaling and ludicrous when you consider that civilians, especially children, (collateral damage) are paying with their lives.

Unfortunately modern warfare is the direct result of technological developments far outpacing the glorious tradition of hurling thousands of expendable menions as canon fodder.

Once upon a time a King simply forced the great unwashed (those in possesion of a penis) to drop their plows, say goodbye to their families, and run headlong into an avalanche of oncoming arrows..

otherwise he himself would have them executed...

and you're right, that method still works like a charm.

In order to stiffen the resolve of their lemmings, psychological techniques were developed that would invoke the ubiquitous GOD is on OUR side message and therefore there is no way that WE can lose.

Good News for Modern Man!

Throughout History technology began to improve our ability to kill THEM from greater distances. WE no doubt started out throwing rocks and pointy sticks at each other out on the African Savannah.

Once WE ran out of sticks and rocks it was down to biting and blows...and it stayed this way throughout most of our brief tenure.

Wars all started out over territorial disputes associated with big egos trying to gain access to fresh water, food, and mates. Our closest living relatives, the Chimpanzees, have been killing each other like this for millions of years.

Eventually our bigger brains afforded us the creation of inventions that made killing others easier..Go US!

The deadly power of the Longbow enabled a shivering, starving, serf dressed in rags, the opportunity to take out a technologically advanced, armour plated, well-fed and trained Knight perched atop his charging steed, from a safe distance.

Of course there has always been an endless parade of murderous machinery; trebuchet, flame throwers, guns that can shoot around corners.

Many of the newest inventions, like biological nerve agents, seem too terrifying to even contemplate.

Let us not forget the psychological implications of dressing up soldiers in costumes to transform individuals into an army. Not so long ago the tall foreheads in the Departments of War made it easy for their enemies to pick off soldiers by dressing them up in brightly coloured tunics adorned with shiny objects and glistening braids that made perfect targets for enemy combatants.

Which explains why these uniforms are now only used for parades and ceremonies.

Today modern technology enables combatants to lob outrageously powerful satellite guided missiles to within ten feet of a globally postioned target, from thousands of miles away...this makes it easier to acknowledge collateral damage as just an image on a screen...like playing a video game.

Removing expensively equipped, maintained, and trained soldiers out of the equation would seem to be the logical endgame but boots on the ground are still at the core of War.

In order to outmanoeuvre the technological advantages, modern opponents with limited resources have fiendishly chosen to hide amongst the collateral damage. Why stand out in the open in fancy outfits and get vaporised? The real horror is that they use their own women and children as hostages. The cowardly ends, however clever, does not justify the means.

Like many North Americans who grew up during the Cold War, WE were told that assured mutual destruction of the Superpowers would end the days of tactical warfare and that THEM, the rest of the world, would need to suck it up and quit fighting.

In light of the circumstances it is bewildering to US that THEY refuse to comply and simply abandon Millenia of tradition and end their petty squabbling, fall in line, and just shut the f*ck up.

Turns out that THEY didn't get that memo. Honestly!

You cannot possibly imagine how terribly disappointed WE are in THEM.

T MINUS TEN
Pursuant to a request by EROSWINGS, a lovely man of formidable intellect and unquestionable character, who recently issued a meme-o requesting a collection of Ten Things ThaT sTarT wiTh The leTTer T...

10 TITANOTHERE

Although they look like GIANT Rhinoceros these Oligocene Era monstrosities were more closely related to the horse.

What really got me hooked on Titanotheres was TUNDRO on the cartoon The_Herculoids.

Tundro was a ten-legged Titanothereamabob who could shoot exploding rocks from his cannon-horn, extend his legs like stilts, and he could also spin his head to drill through solid rock.

9 TYRANNOSAURUS

The most famous Dinosaur of all time. Tyrannosaurs roamed the earth near the end of the Dinosaur's reign in the Cretaceous Period...not Jurassic. Scientists have an ongoing dispute over whether it was a Predator or Scavenger and now they are hypothesizing that feathers adorned their young.

8 TREX

I am a Jeepster what can I say. I still like to Bang a Gong.

T Rex still sounds as good as it did back in the 70s.

7 TRUST

Where would we be without it?

"Trust is a very sacred thing and is hard to regain trust once lost."

6 TARZAN

Edgar Rice Burrough's famous Ape-Man fascinated me and jump-started my fascination with our Ape cousins. When I was a lad my Tarzan wasn't Johnny Weismuller, he was a 6'4" Texan named Ron_Ely who starred in the 60s TV version. I could never understand why his Chimp sidekick was named Cheetah?

5 TUROK

Turok was even cooler than Tarzan because he battled Dinosaurs in the Lost Valley! His exploits in Gold Key Comics was one of my favorite escape mechanisms. Uber Cool!

4 TURSIOPS TRUNCATUS

The Bottlenose Dolphin. Back in the 60s and 70s Dolphins and Whales were treated as almost supernatural entities and symbols of Peace, Love, and Unicorns. They were like Intraterrestrial equals who chose to live in trippy 3 dimensional watery world of mental telepathy. Sometimes they rescued Humans from Sharks and disasters at Sea...now we also know that that they kill little defenseless porpoises and gang rape females from other pods.

3 TIGER SHARK

Speaking of Sharks the second most famous species is the garbage can of the Sea the Tiger. Infamous for being only second to the Great White in attacks on humans it is found everywhere that people like to swim.

Here is a summary of SHARK ATTACKS on one of my favorite sites.

2 THOR

The Norse God for whom THURSDAY is named, really came to life for me under the skillful hand of one of my favorite artists of all time John_Buscema.

Ya gotta love those crazy ass polka dots on his shirt?

and of course number

#1 TITS

What red blooded Canadian boy doesn't love Tits?

They can be Great , Penduline , even Elegant...doesn't matter.

We love just looking at them, even from a distance,

but we all still spend our entire lives dreaming and scheming of ways to get our hands on them!

And there you have it.