Dubya's Prezimadential Liebury

STILL NO SIGN OF DUBYA'S PREZIMADENTIAL LIEBURY

I wrote this post almost 2 years ago and I still have not heard about George 'Dubya' Bush's suppository to bury lies..have you?

As many of you know, every President since Herbert Hoover has established a Presidential Library in their home state. These spectacular buildings are repositories for exhibiting historical documents, artifacts, and what-nots, that relate to their career.

Here is the John F. Kennedy Library,

the Gerald Ford,

and of course Dubya's Daddy has got himself a humdinger.

I know that Bush describes himslf as a "proliferamic reedar".

"I read so much that sum feller in a yeller hat called me Curious Geoge Heh Heh!"

Bush is rumored to have spent hours agonizing over the "perfect suppository of my career."

He admitted that he has been "havin' a hard time fingerin' out what my Prezimadential Library will look like."

"Sumpin' simpler I s'pose...

like the library Heh-Heh..

on my ranch in Crawford, Texas."

"I spends hours out there jus' sittin' , thinkin', an readin' my "favrit" book.

"I intends to put all of my favrit books in my Liebury."

"I 'specially likes the Poop books that have pichures of Republican Elemaphants."

Good Luck with that Mr. Prezimadent and enjoy your retiramant.

OLYMPIC$ SCHMIMPIC$

The International Olympic Committee, whose motto is

"$HOW ME THE MONEY!"

should have known that having emerging Super Power China as the host of the 2008 Olympics would be a Public Relations Nightmare.

DUH!

However, since the committee is mainly concerned with soliciting funds so that their 'executives' can live in luxury as they whore themselves around the world collecting freebies, they intentionally overlooked China's dismal human rights record.

Since the Olympics are nothing more than an International Pissing Match, the Athletes are used as pawns by the Governments in a global game of Neener Neener Neener.

I feel sorry for the Athletes.

Why should they suffer for the stupidity of their Governments anyway..

oh yeah..

because most of them live on Government chee$e in order to train and show the world which country is the BEST.

Save Tibet. Darfur. Tiananmen Square.

China is in for a huge crapload of BAD PRESS for the forseeable future. DUH!

Even Hitler knew the true power of one-upmanship behind the Olympics.

Thank You Jesse Owens for singlehandidly destroying the myth of the Aryan Race.

I have argued for the creation of an all Steroid Olympics so that *Athletes can go higher, faster and be stronger than ordinary human beings..

OR

they should compete as individuals without any mention of their Nationality..

which is often a 'shell game' of competing under the country that their 'Grandmother's Second Cousin Once Removed' was born in to get there anyway.

I think that the Olympics does more to pit Nation against Nation than anything else...

politics has now completely overwhelmed the actual sporting events at this whisper thin United Nations charm offensive.

Richard Gere or the Beasty Boys should have told Tibet to spend millions of dollars training Monks to use their magic powers to win Gold Medals in every event.

They could have been the modern day version of Jesse Owens.

That would have been sweet!

FOO FIGHTERS CONCERT!

This evening I went for supper and took in a ROCK Concert with my three older offspring. ..and I wasn't the only 50 year old so nyeh.

Many of you might not know who the Foo Fighters are or that the lead singer Dave Grohl was the drummer for Nirvana. Whatever. Let me say that Grohl is an engaging, hilarious, energetic, populist, showman who had the audience eating out of the palm of his hand. He did not utter one sentence without using the F Bomb as either a verb, adjective, or noun.

To be fair, Grohl does have a flair for comedy and it goes with the whole smartass Rock Star persona schtick. We were actually laughing our butts off at him...what wasn't funny were all of the drunks around us competing for some of that attention...Puh-Leeze!

When my kids were younger I would tape Music Videos and one of our favorites was Learning To Fly by the Foo Fighters.

Here it is if you want to see it>

LEARN TO FLY

Concerts seem to have changed since I was their age and I tried to explain this to them on the way home. Oh sure certain genres attract distinctly abrasive audiences and a full garage band like the Foo was going to attract a lot of idiots who prolly have no idea what Dave is saying in his lyrics.

The biggest difference was the near abscence of Marijuana permeating the Air.

It was impossible to even get a relatively mild contact buzz.

Back in the early 70s when I was the same age as my kids every second person lit up a joint the second that the house lights went down. The ambient spirit was immediately transformed into a collective experience of awe and introspection. Everyone would mellow out and take it in. Not so this evening.

Now $7 Beer fuels the great unwashed who stand up in front of you and spoil the vibe from the getgo. The entire row in front of us were hammered, staggering, idiots. One actually threw his beer into the audience and was hauled away...only to return after a few songs? WTF? The rest eventually faltered and one by one succumbed to their over indulging and staggered off at various intervals never to be seen again. YAY!

The sad truth is that far too many people cannot 'hold their liquor'. I have also been to numerous Sporting Events where drunken twats have sullied the experience too. These beligerent idiots seem to thrive at all of the negative attention. Is it just me? Am I getting old? Please legalize Marijuana.

I'll tell you what..there needs to be a special section for out of control assholes who can annoy each other and let the rest of us enjoy the show or game.

The other ridiculous thing is that our war on drunk driving is a complete joke. Where are the Police forcing these hammered fools to take breathalyzers after a Football Game or Concert where they know that hundreds of people are totally pissed? Nope. Off they go. What hypocrisy.

Is the Liquor Lobby that powerful? We pretend that most of our citizens are responsible enough to manage their drinking but I would say that up to 20% of them are out of control. How about some consistency and practical standard enforcement. Perhaps tedious people who cannot handle their liquor need to be banned from public events altogether. Why should the rest of us suffer?

Yes the concert was UBER-LOUD and they did play awesome versions of my faves Learn to Fly, The Best Of You, and of course Everlong. We did have a great time despite the sideshow.

ANGRRRRR MISMANAGEMENT

This is my confessional song. I, unfortunately, am quite Passive-Aggressive and I HATE IT!
That's why I like Blogging, it allows me the opportunity to openly express ANGER and FRUSTRATION! Oh sure I still get to blame the world for my problems, but venting is stage one of taming the nature of the beast. I am getting better at 'exploding'...atleast out here.

According to Wiki;
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE-BEHAVIOR is a defense mechanism that can manifest itself as resentment, stubborness, procrastination, sulleness, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is assumed, often explicitly, to be responsible. Basically the most TEDIOUS character traits in the Universe!

Willful witholding of understanding and blaming others is said to be more often than not, only partly conscious. I don't believe that because I am now fully aware of my shortcomings...which only makes it worse.

Ironically, PAB is believed to stem from a specific childhood stimulus like overbearing parental figures...SEE you can blame it on someone else!

Maybe that's why I always enjoyed the company of people who have emotional outbursts in public..flash fires of incoherence... and then they are done with it. How cool is that. Instead of massaging grievances and regrets for 40 years it's over. Finito. I've been getting back at people for two generations who don't even know that I am even mad at them! How stupid is that?

Someday soon I hope to be able to just 'tear a new one' and scream and lambaste everybody..especially the people that I love. Instead of sulking around and hoping that they figure out how f*cking mad I am, I'll just let 'er rip and be done with it.
It just seems a lot more practical and efficient.

Are you any good at getting mad?

$AVE THE BLOGO$PHERE

Like many of you I've been really trying to ignore the slick production and zillions of comments on the WORLD'S 50 MOST POWERFUL BLOGS !

Let's face it, those are not really Blogs anymore, they are Businesses.
The Corporations are trying to ruin Blogging by discouraging people who don't get a couple thousand hits an hour or carry their ADs.
If I wanted to read a magazine I would.



This reminds me of WATCH THIS Johnny Quest selling out and hawking Runners back in the 60s.



There I hope that you appreciate the fact that I eschewed the opportunity to pull a little RICKROLLING on you. RickRolling is the hilarious 'Internet phenomenon' sweeping the globe, in which some twat will post a blind link to a page allegedly relevant to the post's topic, but it will prove to be a prank and link you to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" on YouTube. HA-HA-HA What Fun!

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW

You may have heard about a freak accident in Florida this week...the odds of which are probably incalculable.

A 57 year old woman was soaking up the sun on the bow of a boat cruising in the Florida Keys. The boat was travelling about 25 miles per hour when a 75 pound Spotted Eagle Ray flew up out of the water and collided with the woman.

She died from the impact.

Now two normal everyday occurences, a person enjoying a boat ride and a Ray leaping out of the water, combined in a freak occurence that ended the lives of both creatures.

Rays leap out of the water to rid themselves of parasites and escape predators. What are the odds of this thing jumping at the exact moment that the boat was passing overhead? Two rights made a wrong.

Life can be totally unprefrickindictable.

Another news item that caught my eye was the Wednesday draw in our National Lottery. It is a bi-weekly event and the pot was an unspectacular $3.5 Million...however the numbers that came up were very unusual...

23 40 41 42 44 45 and the bonus was 43.

HELLO!

Most people either let the machine pick the numbers or use birthdates but nobody won the Jackpot but 239 people had 5 of the numbers plus the bonus number. Very unusual.

Still, can you imagine how excited you would be if you were looking up the numbers in the morning paper and you had 5 +!

Usually only 1 person has all 6 numbers and then only 2 0r 3 or people get 5+numbers. Anyway the winners soon discovered that instead of winning $106,572.50 like the 3 people did on the previous draw, they won $1,193.70 each.

Actually the third place prize (5/6) was won by 106 people who won twice as much as the second place prize. They won $2,223.40 each.

Now it would still be fun to win $1,000 dollars on a $2 ticket but you only get 5/6 once in a lifetime so you'd be pissed off. Hey, they don't call it gambling for nothing.

Still the unpredictability of Life is what makes us crazy because we spend most of our lives immersed in routine and familiarity.

That poor woman killed by the Ray had probably been looking forward to that vacation for months. One second she is relaxing in the breeze and the next WHAM!

The ticket holders who saw 5+ numbers prolly raced to the corner store in their pyjamas thinking that they had just won $100,000! Then wham.

You just never know.

CRAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Well five years of fighting Evilism and $1 TRILLION later, Sadassman Insane is dead and Iraqistan has yet to become the beacon of Democratic Freedom for the Muddle East.

Thanks in large part to a deferential American Media who kowtowed to Cheney's 'Harm Offensive' the phantom Government of America has suceeded in making nearly everybody against US and not with US.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but why didn't everyone notice that 16 of the 19 psychotics commandeering the planes on 911 were Saudi.

Aren't they close friends of the Bush clan?

click here for more details>>

THE LIES THAT LED TO WAR

Hmm... but don't we need their Oil?

Are you sure that they finance Islamofascist Madrasses all over the world where impressionable young minds are twisted into pliable martyrs in search of 72 virgins?

Well I'm not going to change anybody's mind so let's look at some of David Bowie songs;

THE SECRET LIFE OF ARABIA,

FIVE YEARS,

TIME WILL CRAWL,

LOOK BACK IN ANGER,

THIS IS NOT AMERICA, &

I'M AFRAID OF AMERICANS

Let's start with...

THE SECRET LIFE OF ARABIA

from Heroes/1977

I was running at the speed of life

Through morning's thoughts and fantasies

Then I saw your eyes at the cross fades

Secret secrets never seen

Secret secrets ever green $$$$$$

You must see the movie the sand in my eyes

I walk through a desert song when the heroine dies

FIVE YEARS

from Ziggy Stardust/1972

Pushing through the market square, so many mothers sighing

News had just come over, we had five years left to cry in

News guy wept and told us, earth was really dying

Cried so much his face was wet, then I knew he was not lying

We've got five years, stuck on my eyes

Five years, what a surprise

We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot

Five years, that's all we've got

TIME WILL CRAWL

fromNever Let Me Down/1987

I know a government man

He was as blind as the moon

He saw the sun in the night

He took a top-gun pilot and he

He made him fly thru a hole

T'il he grew real old

And he never came down

He just flew t'il he burst

Time will crawl

T'il our mouths run dry

Time will crawl

T'il the streets run red

Time will crawl

T'il our tails fall off

Time will crawl

T'il the 21st century lose

LOOK BACK IN ANGER

from Lodger/1979

You know who I am he said

The speaker was an angel

He coughed and shook his crumpled wings

Closed his eyes and said

"It's time we should be going"

Waiting so long-I've waiting so-waiting so

Look back in anger driven by the night 'til you come

Waiting so long-I've been waiting so-waiting so

THIS IS NOT AMERICA

Falcon & Snowman sndtk /1985

Snowman melting from the inside
Falcon spirals to the ground

So bloody red tomorrow's clouds

A little piece of you

A little piece in me will die

For this is not America NO!

There was a time

A wind that blew so young

For this could be the biggest sky

And I could have the faintest idea

This is not America

I'M AFRAID OF AMERICANS

from Earthling/1997

Nah-nah-nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah-nah

*Dicky's in America no tricks at the wheel

Ah-ah-ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah-ah

Nobody needs anyone they don't even just pretend

Ah-ah-ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah-ah

*Dicky's in America

I'm afraid of Americans

I'm afraid of the world

I'm afraid I can't help it

I'm afraid I can't

I'm afraid of Americans

I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it

I'm afraid I can't

I'm afraid of Americans

God is an American

(*I obviously changed the name to Dicky)

Bowie wasn't writing about Bush and Cheney per se but that's the metaphorical magic of music. Taken together these titles and lyrics paint a vivid mental picture of the the last five years...time to look back in anger. Good luck in November.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digga,
But she ain't messin' with no broke Beatle!

"4 years, 4 years
She got one of your kids
Got you for 48 MILL$

If you ain't no punk holla we want pre-nup
WE WANT PRE-NUP!
Yeah it's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo ass
she gonna leave wit $34K per diem! DAYUM!

Get down girl - go head - get down
Get back to where you once belonged"
(lemme hear that back)





My Apologies to Kanye

Bear Sh*t Bull Market

DOES A BEAR SH*T IN A BULL MARKET?

Short version for the Durationally Challenged;

INVESTMENT BUNK

Rescue of Investment Bank Bear Sterns stunning display of Corporate Elite Socialism.

Now here is the exhaustive, tedious, whinge...

This past Weekend I visited the United States Of America. Amidst the Financial turmoil that is besetting the most powerful Nation on Earth, the fellers wearin' cowboy hats calmly drove around in their pickup trucks with God Bless America bumper stickers. I don't understand this country.

OK I get the idea that the INDIVIDUAL has the right to pursue happiness (Money) without any Governmental intervention and at any cost to the welfare of their next door neighbour.

I even understand that some of them believe that the Almighty Himself has providentially hand picked this Country as the Zenith of Human Potential Experience. What I cannot fathom is that these people can expect the rest of the world to understand them.

How would I explain this place to an Extraterrestrial or another Earthling for that matter? I guess that I would need to start with one sentence;

You're on your own Pal

... and buyer beware.

You are the master of your own destiny.
If you make it big we love you and if you don't you are just holding the rest of us back...LOSER!

Like most Earthlings Americans seem to adore and worship wealth. What differentiates them is the magical thinking that they are entitled to it and that it is possible.

It doesn't matter how you get rich. You can get it by winning a Lottery, inventing the Pet Rock, catching a ball, siphoning equity, writing Romance Novels, snapping photos of disheveled Celebrities having a coffee, raising 20,000 Hogs on one Farm, designing Nuclear Weapons, or even making the most out of being born with big boobs,

it doesn't matter how, just get it.

This obssession with the Gawd given right to get rich is finally taking it's toll and a day of wreckoning may be at hand. Decades of ignoring sound financial principles and shuffling the chairs on the Titanic may finally bring the chickens home to roost.

Nobody better exemplifies Greed than the so-called Captains of Industry.

Why didn't anyone stop Corporate Executives from plundering the cookie jar? Only 6 CEO's in the Fortune 500 earned less than $1Million..and they all had stock options anyway so that faux salary is just window dressing for the investors. CEO's make about 240 times what the average worker earns.

By January 2nd the top execs will have made more money than the employees will that entire year. ..and why do these f*cking bastards get Golden Parachutes worth hundreds of millions of dollars when the company loses money?

In America the Federal minimum wage is what, $5 something an hour, and that figure has lost ground over the last 30 years. If that downass figure were to match CEO compensation it would be around $25/hr.

In 2006 four of the largest Investment Banks, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers & Bear Sterns, paid out $49.6 BILLION in compensation. ((GAG))

The spectacular but predictable implosion of Bear Sterns this week should wake up the great unwashed. As the CEO James Cayne played in a bridge Tourney in Detroit the stock plummeted to $2/share...his 14,000 employees just lost their retirement savings.

If they had squirreled away $200,000 they now own $2,000 worth of crap.

So what did 'free enterpriser' Bush do? To stop the run on the so-called "Bank" ($17 Billion in 2 days) the Fed OKs juicy JP Morgan to buy Bear Sterns for $236 M and that includes the frickin building. So much for 85 years of fancy financing.

"Juicy Jaye P Morgan"

Despite the illusion of living in a Free Enterprise System the American Elite protects itself with a special Socialism for the Rich. The RICH circle the wagons and protect themselves and their phoney baloney world of smoke and mirrors.

The All American Dream of having it all, getting something for nothing, is a complete fabrication. These dream-makers are slick-sideshow-snakeoil- salesmen. The imaginary economic vision of exponential endless growth is not realistic.

That carrot that the charlatans are dangling in front of their nose cannot be caught. All of those commercials and movies that show everybody else living the American Dream is undergirded by a 110% mortgage.

The rest of the world just shakes their heads at the collective National avarice that they try to export. There has to be some sort of balance. The America of the 21st Century seems to be exactly like the Oligopolized Country that existed at the turn of the 2oth Century. ..
replete with a microscopic 'ruling class' that hijacks and snags all of the wealth.

I was wondering how much more damage the Bush Administration's mindnumbingly poor decisions could inflict in the last months of his Presidency.
Well here is stage two. Stage one was to siphon 52% of the Federal Budget into Military Spending and alienate the country from the rest of the world....now the cost of borrowing $3Billion a day to keep the Government going and allowing the Wall Street to invent creative financing to steal outrageous sums of money from middle class folks squirreling away a couple hundred bucks a month to retire someday is going to implode.

But the Old Boy's Club will be protected. The great unwashed be damned. The Patrician mindset of the Elite must be enforced to discombobulate the common man. What the hell do they know about money?

Just keep yer Piehole shut and do as your told, OH YEAH and keep dreaming.

The CEO's will still come out of this 240 times richer than the Mr & Mrs Joe Sixpack.
Can you honestly say that you believe anything that this Administration tells you.

Well Joe Sixpack,

don't get mad get some!

Open a can of whoop-ass on those bastards!

It's time to storm the f*cking Bastille!

..and you had better not take to long to do it...

believe it or not, this current version of America may have reached it's best before date and it has an expiration date.

All Empires do.

A HARD ACT TO SWALLOW
Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, and Birthdays eh?

The 'Great Unwashed' loves Sex Scandals! The best kind of Sex Scandals are sordid affairs that involve high ranking Politicans, holier-than-thou Religious Leaders, and last but not least, Entertainment Celebrities.

Nearly all Human Beings enjoy a reprieve and a distraction from their mundane, meaningless, existance, and Sexcapades are a time honored way of unleashing our gossippy, self-righteous indignation by distracting ourselves with the personal lives of those bastards who seem to have it all. We relish the public humiliation and adore the misery of our so-called betters.

Thankfully the Germans had the foresight to invent a word for it, schadenfreude.

The recent personal and professional implosion of NYC Governor Elliot (rhymes with Idiot) Spitzer is a 24/7 Prime Time example of what I am talking about.

Unlike Bill Clinton who overwhelmed a young, naive, intern, whoopdeedoo, Spitzer atleast paid for sex with a PROstitute. A twenty two year old Call Girl named Ashley Dupree is almost certainly guaranteed her Fifteen Minutes of Warholian Infamy in Playboy. Here she is flashing her self acknowledging V for Victory sign for inadvertently catapulting herself to fame.

Anyone remember Televangelist Jim Bakker's victim Jessica Hahnjob?

Thanks to the split Puritan or Porn Star identity crisis in America and the ubiquitous Class Warfare in the United Kingdom, both of these countries enjoy a constant supply of Sex Scandals. Time constraints obviously prohibit me from providing a decent list. Oddly enough some of the more inexplicable transgressions, such as the Hugh "I'm An Idiot"Grant & Divine Brown thingamabob, are actually joint USA-UK productions.

Here in Canada we don't get many Sex Scandals and we have become hopelessly reliant on the USA and the UK to supply us.

Surprised? You shouldn't be, our national symbol is the Beaver, we're trapped indoors for 7 bloody months of the year, and Canadians are bilingual..what did you think that meant? We don't need to buy lingual because we are an orally fixed nation. The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind.

In fact our last half-decent scandal was in the late 70s when Prime Minister Trudeau's ex wife Margaret was linked to Ronny Wood from the Rolling Stones.

I'll bet you didn't know that in the late 60's Trudeau was the groovy 'Yentlman' who was schtupping Barbara Stresisand...

wait...

I'm a little verklempt...

OK...

OMG!

What if Babs had become our First Lady?

Getting back to the Spitzer Sex Scandal, Left Wing Comedian Bill Maher wrote,

"people need sex, and married people generally aren't getting it except on Valentine's Day, Anniversaries and Birthdays. Married people are often starved for sex, touch, affection, not to mention the kinky stuff that wifey definitely won't do."

Bill forgot to mention Holidays...hello?!

From the Right, Talk Show Know-it-all Dr. Laura said,

"when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings — sexually, personally — to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman."

You're preachin' to the choir Sistah!

Oops did I say that out loud?

I meant what a load of crap!

You might find this hard to swallow but both Maher and Schlesinger may be on to something; according to statistical data made up on the Internet 80% of men hire prostitutes for the 'pro-cure-ment' of Oral Sex.

You know what else bugs us ...we all really hate those gawdawful, mandatory, public, pseudo-apologies that we are forced to endure when these shmucks get caught.

Silda Spitzer, ironically pictured wearing a pearl necklace, is now fodder for the Kangaroo Court of Public Opinion;

-to some like Doctor Laura and Maher she is perceived as the proverbial 'cold fish' who probably had sex on Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, and Birthdays, and drove her poor husband to pay for sex.

Others see her as a steadfast wife who gave up a promising career, raised the kids, and stands by her man like Tammy Wynette.

Many more will see her as a self-deluded, dishrag, enabler who should kick her husband to the curb and clean him out in Divorce Court.

She may very well be a combination of all of the above but actually it's none of our business! Unfortunately the Cult Of Celebrity has made her life a bona fide living hell and the Mediarazzi will be perched over her like Vultures waiting to see what she does.

This scandal automatically re-ignites huge problems for Hillary Clinton's bid for the White House. Her decision to stay by Bill's side will be regurgitated and most will probably find that hard to swallow. Many think that Hillary would be much further ahead by now if she had booted Bill...

but then again it is the USofA and would a divorced woman even be allowed to contemplate running for President?

Any suggestions on any of this from the Peanut Gallery?